Just friends, best friends -Johnnyboy

part twenty five (part 2) : ronnie

TW!! blood

January fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. I knew then that I had made the right decision to stay. I leaned my head back onto hers and she held my hand, she was cold, and shaking. I held on tighter. I did my best not to move because secretly, I didn't ever want her to move, or let go of my hand. I know that if I did she would maybe think I didn't want her to hold on, but I did. I stroked my thumb across her pale skin, I felt a smile up against my shoulder. It was contagious indeed, left me smiling like an idiot. If I could make time stay still, I would take this moment and frame it. I fell asleep again.

I slowly blinked my eyes, waking up from my sleep. The first thing I saw was the brightest light coming from the front of the bus, it kept getting closer and closer. It kept getting more blinding. Jan was still sleeping. I squinted so I could see where it was coming from, that's when the light got too close, noise emitting from it. It was deafening. I grabbed Jan by the shoulders and pushed her out of the seat, then to the back of the bus. My back was facing the light as I flew back in it's direction. That's when the brightest light went black.

-January-
I woke up to the smell of smoke and the feeling of glass and other things around me. I was on the ground. I sat up slowly, looking around. The whole front of the bus was crushed and the windshield was completely cracked. I stood up fully, looking around in a panic for Ronnie. My backpack was still in our seat, I looked up and saw her lying on the floor of the vehicle, she was bleeding almost everywhere. I tripped over glass and other broken pieces trying to run to her. I'd never felt my heart sink lower. I fell down next to her. My hands fell to her face, grabbing it. I shook her.

"Ronnie? Ronnie?!" I cried.

"Cmon Ronnie. Wake up." I was screaming.

The bus driver was lying not far from us. Covered even more than Ronnie. The two other people that were on the bus that were sitting in the front were barely there.

I shook her even more. Placing my head on her chest. She was breathing.

"Jan." She puffed.

"Cmon don't leave me. Stay here. Come on Ronnie." I screamed. Louder.

"I'm sorry. I- I love you so much. Okay?" She took a half breath between every word. I screamed as loud as my lungs allowed me to.

"No. No. You don't leave. Ronnie." Tears invaded my eyes. Everything was blurry.

I held her head up, putting it on my knees,

"Come on. Come on." I whispered in her ear.

Her eyes twitched. Her head sunk into my lap.

My eyes widened and my heart skipped what seemed like a million beats. She was gone. I fell back into a pile of glass, my hands began to bleed, but I wasn't phased. I screamed until I had barely any of my voice left, and I cried until my body couldn't physically create any more tears. Nobody on this bus had survived except me. I cried harder. I was so weak, I couldn't move, I couldn't even lift my hand. I tried to keep my eyes open, there felt like no point. What good was it to keep living when the only person you were living for is gone? My eyes closed.

-Ponyboy-
Johnny and I arrived back at my house when Soda quickly pulled us both in the house.

"What the hell?!" I jumped.

"Get in the car. Now." Soda demanded.

I looked at Johnny, he shrugged. I obeyed however. Darry came running to us, he looked like he was about to cry.

"Don't tell them yet." He said sliding past us and running to the car.

"What?! What the hell is going on?" I waved my arms around.

"J-just.. please get in the car." Soda shed a tear.

I was so confused and honestly terrified. I grabbed Johnny's hand and pulled him out with me.

-January-
I tried to open my eyes. I tried with everything I had left. Was I dead? I had no idea what was happening. My whole body ached, I felt pain, that means I'm still alive. Right? I wanted my thoughts back. This is the one time i'm asking to overthink. To feel something right now other than sadness and anger. I was beaten down totally. I don't think there's any way I could keep going, open my eyes. But I did. In that moment, that was the hardest thing to do, was to move. I had never hurt this badly before. Both physically and mentally. Veronica is dead. It hasn't clicked. She's gone forever now and I can't do anything about it. Everyone on this bus is dead, except for me. I felt almost guilty. Why me? Why did I have to be the one to be saved? I didn't even know those people but they deserved their lives just as much as I deserved mine. But Ronnie, she deserves everything. She did. I was going to explain everything to her, I was going to apologize. I was going to tell her I loved her back. But I didn't. She loved me. No one loves me, I don't understand why she did but now the only person who did love me, can't anymore. I can remember just before the crash, Ronnie pushed me to the back of the bus. She saved my life before her own. She proved then that she is what I thought she always has been. Selfless. Selfless to the point where she lost her life putting me before her. I cried the little amount of tears I had left. I had nothing now. Nothing in my body. I felt my eyelids weigh down, and eventually close again. Is this me dying finally?

-Ponyboy-
Darry was racing down the roads, I don't know where we were going, but where ever it was he was willing to get fined for it. Big time too. People only drive this fast in races. We only drove for twenty minutes before we came across a collision, it was massive. A bus and a huge truck. The whole front of the bus was crushed and most of the windows were smashed as well. The truck was tipped onto the side.

"Holy shit." Johnny said sitting up.

"What the hell is going on? Someone please answer me!" I demanded.

Darry basically jumped and ran out of the car, towards the bus and inside of it. Is he insane?!

I got out, but was eventually stopped by Soda.

"Stop. Let him." He held his arm in front of me.

-January-
I felt a hand on the side of my face, it was warm. I tried to open my eyes. Still unsure if I was dead or alive. I opened them, it was a struggle but it was worth it to see Darry's face. I opened my mouth in an attempt to say something, but he just picked me up.

"Shh it's okay." He said.

"Thank god you're alive." He took a sigh of relief.

So I was alive. I didn't know how to feel. But my eyes closed once again as my head leaned back. Darry began running.

-Ponyboy-
My jaw fell to the ground. January was laying in Darry's arms. She was in the crash. I ran over, pushing through Soda.

"Is she alive?" I screamed taking her hand to feel a pulse. Thank god.

"Take her." Darry said handing her cold, almost lifeless body to me. I placed her in the back seat with Johnny and I. I shook her gently. She was freezing. Darry ran back to the bus.

She opened her eyes slowly, it was agonizing to see her like this.

Johnny looked at me petrified.

"Veronica." He whispered, his gaze going blank.

I opened my mouth and allowed my eyes to show my expression.

"S-shes gone." I heard a faint whisper from the seat. January was barely hanging on.

Darry came back with both of their bags, tears in his eyes as he nodded to Sodas hand gesture. She really was gone. Darry reluctantly handed the bags to me, Johnny took them and put them in the back under his feet. I held on to January, praying she will make it. Johnny and I both put our jackets around her. I tried to keep her talking while at the same time trying not to remind her of Veronica. Darry began the even faster drive to any near buildings. We were looking for a hospital. I tried, but I couldn't contain myseld. I think besides January of course, I knew Veronica the best. I got to know her during our trip to find Jan and Johnny. She really was an angel. January was lucky to have known her well. I wish I could have gotten to know her better. Darry drove faster and faster. He wasted no time. We aren't losing January too. I squeezed her hand.