Falling to Pieces

Chapter Thirteen

A/N: Literally I haven't updated in so long omg so sorry and this chapter probably sucks but yeah

* * *

His eyes widen and he's about to say something but I stop him.

"No, Danny, you can't tell anyone," I say. "You have to promise me. Alex will never forgive me."

"Nicki! Obviously he's not gonna want you to tell anyone. He-"

"Danny! Shhh!" I speak in a harsh, low voice. "He trusts me, okay? He trusted me enough to tell me. Well, I got it out of him. Like I got that thing out of you a few weeks ago... and I didn't tell anyone! And I helped you!"

I could tell something was wrong with Alex. And his sleeve rolled up a little, so I saw cuts. I grabbed his arm and gently asked him about it, I didn't want to bother him too much. I know how it feels.

"Nicki, he needs help."

"And I'm going to help him, Danny."

"Nicki..." He sighs. "This is different from what happened to me. He does it to himself."

"Danny..." Tears start to cloud my eyes. "I shouldn't have told you."

"No, Nicki... I'll help. I'll do anything you need me to do," He promises.

The bell rings. "Thanks Danny, see you later."

* * *

Alex has been miserable all day. I can't help but feel like it's my fault. All I want to do is hug him and tell him everything will be okay one day, and do everything I can to make him feel better, but it's not that easy. Especially when you can't do that for yourself.

At lunch, he doesn't come to our table. And Christian has been acting weird all day around me, I'm not really sure why.

"Has anyone seen Alex?" I ask, drinking some water... the only thing I have for lunch.

Danny looks at me. "I saw him sitting at a table by the bathrooms."

"Why didn't--"

"Nicki. Why don't you go over there and talk to him?" He interrupts. "Ask him what's wrong."

I appreciate Danny not revealing Alex's personal info to everyone, because that's the last thing he needs. And Alex would hate me and I wouldn't blame him and just everything would be wrong.

I get up and find him, sitting alone, with his head resting on his arms on the table. I sit across from him and tap his arm, causing him to look up.

He smiles. "Hey Nicki."

"Hey Alex. Are you okay?"

He sits up straight. "I just don't want you to think of me differently."

"No, Alex, I won't." I pause for a second, looking into his eyes. "It's okay. I know you're going through a tough time. You'll get through it, I promise."

I hope I'm right. I hope this suckish time in my life stops soon. Honestly, I really want to tell Alex about myself and how I'm struggling and everything too, because maybe he won't feel alone and I'd have someone to talk to about it, but for whatever reason the words just won't pass my lips.

"I don't know, I feel like people always say things will get better. But it's been awhile and things haven't gotten better," he sighs.

"It takes longer for some people, Alex," I say. "Trust me."

Yeah, trust me, I know how it feels. I feel like I'll never be better. But I'm hanging on to the hope that it will.

* * *

After school, I go to my locker and Alex comes, and so does Danny as usual.

"Are you okay?" Danny asks him.

Alex's eyes widen. "What do you--"

"I mean, you just seemed down today," Danny tells him. Thank God he realized that I haven't told Alex that he knows yet.

"I'm okay, thanks," Alex replies. "Alright, I'm gonna go, bye guys."

I hug him and he leaves.

"Are you okay?" Danny looks me in the eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

He shakes his head, looking at something in the distance.

I turn around and guess what?

Christian and Stella are kissing in front of her locker.