Falling to Pieces

Chapter Fourteen

I'd be lying if I said I don't care. Of course I do. I still have feelings for him. And it hurts.

I've been able to keep him off my mind for a little while for the most part, but now I can feel my heart start to slowly break and burn.

I remember, a few weeks ago, when I suspected him having feelings for Stella. I guess I was right.

"Nicki?" Danny looks me in the eye. "Are you okay?"

I can feel water starting to swell in my eyes. I don't want Danny to see me crying over a boy, especially Christian. "I'm fine," I lie, slamming my locker shut and walking away as fast as possible.

As I push my arm against the door, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and look into his blue eyes. "No. You're not fine," he says. "I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were stupid," I tell him, trying to slyly wipe away tears.

"Listen, when a girl says she's fine like that, she is most definitely not fine." He wipes a tear away from my cheek and offers me a soft smile. "It bothers you, doesn't it?"

"Danny I'm gonna be late for my bus," I say. I don't wanna talk about it.

"That's great because my parents can't pick me up today." He puts his arm around my waist and we walk out together.

- Danny's POV -

I love the feeling I get when I have my arm wrapped around her, and if I never had to let go, I wouldn't.

We go on the bus and I stay quiet until we sit down. "It's okay, I know you can't help feelings," I tell her. Like, seriously. I know. I've liked her for way longer than I should. But I can't help it.

She finally opens up. "It's just... I didn't realize he liked her and I mean he moved on so fast and..." She sniffs. "I guess I'm just stupid. I should have never believed that a guy like him would like a girl like me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I know that if I was Christian, I would have never left Nicki. Obviously.

"I'm just not good enough for a guy like him, I guess."

But I'm not good enough for a girl like you, I think. I almost say it. But I don't.

"If it makes you feel any better, Christian liked Stella for a while last year. And the feelings came back..."

"Oh." She sighs. "So, basically, I wasn't better than her."

"Nicki, no," I say. "I just said you can't help feelings. They just came back, I guess. It's not really his fault either."

I think of what I just said and how I acted when I found out Christian and Nicki were talking. It wasn't really their fault if they had feelings for each other. I shouldn't have been so terrible to him. She was happy and so was he.

"I guess."

I try to think of something else to say. I know she's not anywhere near being okay and I want to fix that. "Nicki..."

"Yeah?"

Should I tell her? Should I tell her what I think of her?

I look at her, her brown eyes melting in the sunlight, and I decide not to. What if it would mess up everything?

"You'll find the right guy soon enough. And who knows, he could be closer than you think." I doubt I'll be the one that comes to her mind when I say that, but it's worth a shot.

"You're right, Danny. Thanks."

- Nicki's POV -

I saw Sophie get off the bus before me, I know she's home. Not only that, but I can hear her sobbing. I continuously knock on the door, knowing that I'm bothering her and I hate it but I need to get inside. Of course today out of all days I forgot to grab my key.

Eventually she opens it, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "Hey sorry."

"What's wrong?" I ask, walking in. Looks like we both had a tough day.

"Jacob-- he--" She stops and sits down on the couch, covering her mouth with her hand.

I freeze. "What the hell did he do now??"

"Okay so when we were dating there was this girl who always kept flirting with him and he always told her to stop and told me not to worry about her and everything and I was like whatever and--"

"Sophie, calm down," I tell her.

She takes a deep breath. "And today they were walking around holding hands and he was kissing her and everything!"

I sigh. "Yeah, something similar happened to me, Christian was kissing Stella..." I stop before I break down.

"Christian? You dated him?"

I forgot to tell Sophie... ha.

"Well we talked for a little while, but he broke it off yesterday."

"On your birthday? Wow. Okay." She calms down. "You know what? They're not worth stressing over. No boy is, Nicolette."

"I know, I know," I say. It's easier said than done.

"If they wanna replace us for trash, then that's on them."

I definitely wouldn't call Stella trash. Like Dan said, you can't help feelings. "Stella's not trash, but okay."

"Whatever. Christian could've had such an amazing girl and he left her. He'll regret it soon, Nicki. Trust me."

Probably not, but I don't feel like talking about it anymore. "I'm gonna run soon, okay?"

"Can I join you?" She asks.

I smile. "Of course."

Getting changed, seeing how big and disgusting my body is, hurts a lot. It hurts more than anything honestly. Hating what you see in the mirror is a lot harder than working out and eating less.

* * *

We go to the park and run around the track at our own paces.

After about two and a half miles, I start getting tired and end up running slower, but I push myself to three miles before stopping.

Sophie stopped after about a mile and a half and just waited for me.

As we're leaving, and I'm looking down at my phone, I bump right into the last person I wanted to see.

"Hey Nicki!" He says excitedly.

Nervously wiping sweat from my forehead, I reply, "hi Christian."