Falling to Pieces

Chapter Four

"What?" I reply innocently. "I can't hang out here?"

Sophie rolls her eyes. "I'm not stupid. I saw you. Why do you care about what I'm doing with Jacob?"

Christian becomes uneasy. He looks down at the ground uncomfortably. I start to wonder what's bothering him, but then I remember the topic: Jacob. A friend of his. Sophie's also a friend of his. Maybe I shouldn't have dragged him and Dan into this. I should've told them to go home or whatever, then Maddie and I could have continued our spying.

I pull Sophie to the side, not really wanting anyone else hearing this. "You know what happened in sixth grade."

This causes an annoyed sigh to come out of her. "Of course I do. But that was sixth grade, Nicki. Sixth grade. Years ago. Sixth graders can be stupid. Both you and Jacob were stupid at that time. It's different now. And you keep bringing that up. I bet he doesn't even remember."

"But it lasted longer than sixth grade. It was in seventh grade, too. And I don't think either of us forgot about it." I cross my arms. "I hate talking about it. I hate even thinking about it. You know it bothers me. Why can't you just pick some guy your own age?"

"Trust me, in a year or two, you'll understand. Maybe you'll even want someone who's a freshman right now," she tells me. "It's not a law that you have to date someone the same age as you."

Thinking of James, I cringe. "Yeah. No. I don't think I'll understand."

I see Jacob Freeman walking over to us and I immediately stare at the ground, admiring the beauty of not seeing him. I pull the hood of my jacket over my head. Even though I can't see him, I can hear his voice.

"Sophie, I--" He stops. I don't know why. Is he looking at something? Because that's when people usually stop. Is he looking at me?

"Nicki can I talk to you?" Yeah. He was probably looking at me.

I raise my head up and look into his brown eyes. His dark hair looks the same as it did years ago, except it's a little longer and neater. I haven't been this close to him since then. And, at that time, he wasn't desired by all the girls. Just me. And maybe a few others.

He gently grips my wrist and brings me a few feet away from Sophie. I look at her and she smiles, most likely thinking this is when we'll talk and forgive and forget and she can carry on sneaking around with him.

"Ever since... then, you haven't really talked to me. It's like you've been avoiding me," he begins.

"Yeah, well, that was the plan," I admit, not even feeling a bit guilty.

"Why?" He asks.

"Maybe because of what happened?" I bring up, which is just stating the obvious. "After that I never really knew how to talk to you again. So I decided to just... stay away."

"Okay, well, ever since about three days after that I wanted nothing more but to talk to you again," he says. "And I mean it."

"So it took you all these years to finally talk to me about it? And, you talk to me when you're on a date with my sister?" I question, getting irritated.

The memories of that time begin flooding into my mind. About two weeks after sixth grade was over. It was finally summer, after a long and tiring school year. I was in the park with Maddie and I saw Dan talking to Jacob. I went over to them and all four of us got ice cream together. Jacob gave me his phone number (hey, don't think we're spoiled because we had phones in sixth grade. It was those stupid flip phones, and I don't know about Jacob but mine was one that my parents gave to me only so I could use it in case of an emergency or I needed them to come pick me up--even though I used it for more than that). We texted and called each other multiple times a day for the whole week. I was so happy because I had a crush on him since fifth grade. We met up at the park every few days, trying to not make it seem too obvious to our parents or Maddie and Dan of what was happening. "We're only 12," I kept telling him. "My parents will kill me." He agreed with me and just said, "mine will too. So, for now, you'll just be my little secret." And, no, we didn't do anything... naughty and mature. I think at that time, we both thought that kind of stuff was nasty. Plus, we knew it was a thing you do when you're older. The only thing we ever did was hug and hang out. However, by the end of August (so two months after we started 'going out'), things kinda got more serious. It probably sounds stupid because well, we were only twelve years old. It didn't get to an adult kind of serious, but I guess the best way to put it is that it was clear we really liked each other. It was about a week before we started seventh grade. We met up at the place we normally met. He took me to a spot in the park he knew was my favorite. Trees blooming with flowers, a pond with a perimeter of neatly placed rocks, and a little path covered by drooping trees and bushes that led you up a hill to the top with a four-foot-five wall made of dark rocks. When I was younger, I would take the path to the top of the hill and pretend the wall was like the wall of a castle and the path was a secret only we knew. My favorite part of this spot is the big weeping willow tree. We went under the tree and he put his hands on my hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and our lips... crashed into each other. He gave me a little crown, telling me that I was his princess. I'm not proud of what we did and I wish it never happened.