Falling to Pieces

Chapter Nineteen

- Nicki's POV -

I was asleep for like three hours. When I wake up, I call the only person I know I can trust with this... Alex.

How has he been? I hope he's okay. I know I just saw him yesterday at school but with everything that happened I feel like it's been forever.

"Alex?"

"Nicki!" He seems happy. "Are you okay?"

"Yes but no. Where are you?"

"Home, why?"

"Do you think you could meet me at the park or something?"

There's a tone of pure concern in his voice. "Is something wrong?"

"It's not like huge but I need to talk to you about something," I say. "Can you meet me somewhere?"

"How about Starbucks? I could really use some coffee..."

I cringe at the thought of calories, looking down at my wrists. I mean, I haven't eaten anything besides the plain coffee I had early this morning since at least yesterday... if I even ate anything yesterday, I honestly can't even remember... I guess if that's like, all I have today, it'll be okay.

"That sounds great. I'll meet you there in like fifteen?" I say.

"Perfect," He answers. "See you there."

I change into a simple baby blue long sleeve shirt and black shorts. I fix my makeup-- my previous crying episode messed it up a bit-- and throw my hair into a messy bun. Then I grab some money and leave, seeing Sophie's car is gone, but ignoring it. Of course she went out somewhere.

I meet him at Starbucks. He's wearing a light gray beanie and a black hoodie. He gets an iced caramel macchiato while I get a red velvet cake frappe. We decide to walk to the park.

"What did you wanna talk to me about?" He questions.

I pull back the sleeve on one of my arms, revealing one of my wrists to him. "I... I understand why you do what you do, now."

He stops short. "Oh, my gosh... Nicki... no, you can't... I mean... why?"

"I really don't like myself, Alex, okay?" I sigh. "I figured I could trust you when it came to this... after what happened last night, I couldn't stop thinking about how worthless I was. I wanted a new pain, something to take away what I was feeling mentally."

"That's why I do it, too," he sighs.

- Alex's POV -

My heart aches. I mean, Nicki? She's so perfect. Ever since the beginning of
the school year, I've thought that she's so pretty and cute.

I can't believe that such a perfect human being can dislike herself so much.

"How long have you been doing it?" She asks me.

"Since the start of high school," I answer quietly. "But, Nicki, I don't want you to get into it. You did it once, there's still hope for you, you can stop before it's too late."

"You can stop, too," she tells me.

"I've been doing it for over a year. And I'll never feel better about myself or anything, Nicki."

"C'mon, I wanna show you something," she says.

She brings me up a pathway, covered by trees who's branches are low and covered in light colored flowers and bushes, and to a little hill. It has a rock wall that overlooks grass and rocks and a small pond.

We sit down and lean against the wall and each other. We say nothing for a while, just enjoy each other's presence and our coffee.

I love being next to her, she's so small and soft and sweet.

"Nicki... I wanna fix my problems. And yours."

"So do I," she agrees. We look into each other's eyes. "Maybe we can fix them... together..."

We lean into each other and our lips meet softly.

- Nicki's POV -

This is my spot, this is the spot where I had my first kiss with Jacob, this is where I go when I need to just clear my mind. This is now also the spot where I kissed Alex.

"Nicki, I--"

"Shhhhh," I tell him, leaning into him for another kiss.

I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Wanna come back to my house and just chill?" I suggest.

"Are we going to watch lifetime?" He asks.

I laugh. "Whyyyy, do you not like it?"

"No, I like it. Most of it, anyways. My friend, Laura, always makes me watch it with her. That or Grey's Anatomy or Criminal Minds or something."

"Really? I love all those shows," I say with a smile.

He laughs. "Okay, okay, let's go. We'll watch whichever one you'd like."

Before we get up, he lifts up my sleeve and kisses my wrist softly. "All scars heal with time," he whispers.