Falling to Pieces

Chapter Seventeen

A/N: This wasn't really how I was planning for the story to go but I was watching criminal minds and like whoops lol

* * *

I back up, looking at Sophie's mother, who's screaming in pain and falls backwards and Danny gasps for air and Sophie pushes her dad to the ground but he gets up and goes to Danny, trying to get my phone I think, so I push him off and grab my phone which was in Danny's back pocket, I know that because he always puts his phone there, he must want it because he probably heard me say I was recording everything, the police arrive and her dad runs off while her mom lays bleeding on the ground, there's a mixture of my blood and hers all over my shirt, I feel like everything's happening so fast and I can't concentrate and no one bothers to go after the dad and I just sit next to Danny while ignoring the blood flowing from my nose and I stare at Sophie who's staring at her mom but doesn't make any effort to speak to her or help her or anything and I feel like my thoughts are so clouded like everything's just a big blur and I look down at my shirt and the blood just doesn't stop coming and it makes me sick and Danny whispers something to me and I lay my head on his shoulder and I see the cop car's red and blue lights and the last thing I know someone's picking Sophie's mother off the ground.

* * *

I see black but I hear soft, low voices. I open my eyes and sit up slowly.

I'm on my couch, in my living room. I'm wearing nothing but my underwear and an oversized shirt so big it's basically a dress. I stand up slowly, confused. How did I get here?

I go into the kitchen to find Sophie, Danny, and Christian there as well. They all stare at me.

"She's up," Danny says with a smirk. He comes over to me and wraps his arms around me.

"What happened?" I ask.

"You don't remember what happened like less than an hour ago?" Sophie questions, looking worried.

"No-- I-- something bad happened, right?" Something-- my nose-- right? I lift my hand and touch it and wince, feeling pain.

Sophie sighs. "Our parents took Danny, remember?"

And I remember, it all comes back to me. Everything. I nod. "I remember now." I squeeze Danny. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Danny lets go of me and looks at Christian, who says, "they called me and told me what happened. I was worried."

"I passed out, right?" I ask. "How'd we get back here? How'd I get changed? Where-- where's your mom? And dad?" I look at Sophie.

"My mom's in the hospital," she answers. "There's a search party for my dad. And... people are coming over in a few hours because they're starting an investigation. I changed you out of your clothes because they were bloody. So get ready, okay?"

I nod, then look at Danny. "So your parents hate me even more now, huh?" No answer. "Do they even know?"

Danny's parents walk in. "Yes, we were notified."

I turn around to face them. "Oh... I..." I gulp. "I'm so sorry that this all happened, okay, I'm so sorry they took your son and you were probably worried and--"

"Danny told us everything. You risked your life for his. And you saved his life," his mom says. "I'm sorry for thinking you were trying to hurt him."

"You thought I would hurt him?"

"We thought that you... you helped your parents or something," his dad replies.

"Oh my gosh, no, I would never. And they're not even my actual parents."

"I'm sorry, Nicki, for everything you've had to go through," Sophie tells me.

"It's not your fault," I say.

* * *

I got ready. I decided to put on makeup-- dark eyeshadow and everything-- and I'm wearing a long beige button-up coat that's laced with white on the side.

It's almost 7am, so I go outside and lean against my house, with a door open. I watch as two cars pull into our driveway and as people file out of them, I let them into the house. Sophie has them sit at a table in our dining room. They ask to hear the recording on my phone and I play it. We tell them what happened prior to that, including what happened to Danny not that long ago with his parents and the fact that they abused us.

Two hours of talking and discussing and writing take place. It's 9. Danny's parents offer to make coffee and gives it to the men and women who are part of the investigation crew. Then they give some to Danny, Sophie, and Christian. They offer it to me but I make sure it's just plain black coffee with some splenda-- milk and sugar would've been a ton of calories!-- and slowly sip it. I honestly can't remember the last time I ate. I get hunger pangs but I ignore them. I just pretend it's my body getting rid of fat.

We also offer them pictures of Sophie's dad and they tell us that they'll question her mom and everything and they'll be back tomorrow or the day after.

Danny's parents take him and Christian and go home, and Sophie and I clean everything up and then watch TV to try and get our minds off things.

"Oh, Nicki, you're all bruised and everything."

"It's fine, I don't care," I say. "I'm going upstairs."

I go up to my room and start crying, laying in bed. I think of everything that happened. I can hear a woman's nasty voice in my head, the one I used to call my mom.

Useless. You ruined our perfect family. Kill yourself!

I try to fight the voice, even though deep down I know it's just all in my head.

I know I'm not perfect. I try so hard to be, I know I'm a waste of space! I'm so sorry I ruined your family!

All the thoughts... how pathetic I am... I can't take it, I, I... I need something else. I need a different pain to focus on.

I grab a scissor off my dresser and quickly run one of the blades against my wrist, not just once, but a couple more times, more and more until I have to switch to my other wrist and now they're both stinging and I put down the scissor and crawl in bed and cry myself to sleep.