My Improbable Theories On Her.

2. The Perfect Recipe Of Making Khayali Pulav.

21st August, 2016.

"Dude, you alright?", Ritik's voice broke my silent stance and I again resumed to eat my sandwitch.

I grunted a 'Uh-huh' and resumed eating.

"Ritik's right. You seem lost somewhere. Kuchh hua kya?", Anmoul chirped in.
"All's fine."
I knew my answer wasn't satisfactory but I didn't care.
Not right now.

From my peripheral vision, I saw both of my friends giving each other a knowing glance.
Okay, well, yes, I admit something was bothering me, but there is no way I am going to say any of it to anyone.
I ain't falling for that again.

"Kal tune CS:GO bhi nahi khela. This is very unlike you, Ajey.", Harnit said with a mouthful of chhole bhature.
I plopped the last bite of my vegetable sandwitch, clossed my tiffin and shook my head.
"Can you all chill? I am perfectly fine. And Harnit, I said na that I wasn't able to play as I had to go to out with my mom. Ghar aate der ho gayi and well, then I had some errands to attend."
I took a long sip of water from my bottle.

Harnit got up from the bench and advanced towards his bench in our class, "Well, in my defence, you look tired today. Just-I am worried about you, okay?"

I sighed and faced him, "Dekh, koi bada scene nahi hai. I was up till 2 yesterday night as I was preparing the new video. Also, I got up early today to upload the same. That's the reason why I am tired. That's all."

He shrugged and said, "As you say."

I heard the bell going off, indicating that recess was over and our Psychology teacher would arrive anytime now.

Ritik and Anmoul went to their respective classes.

The only period in which we all could sit together and do shenanigans was English, as it was the only class which was common to all the students of 12th irrespective of their streams.

"Aaj toh khelega na?", Harnit shouted from across the class.
"I don't know, yaar.", I replied half-heartedly.

Before he could say anything, our Psychology teacher, Miss. Avni, arrived.
She raised her eyebrows, smiled slyly and remarked, "Ajey and Harnit first in the class before anyone else? Now, that's surprising."
Harnit outright ignored her. I guess, he can be rude sometimes.

I, however, gave her a small smile and she smiled back.
Not going to lie, she was the coolest teacher in our school. It was of absolute no wonder that she taught Psychology.

"Good afternoon, ma'am.", I greeted her and Harnit followed after he realised the daily ritual.
Ma'am returned the same words back.

Within seconds, the whole of 12th Commerce and Humanities rushed into the class, from wherever they had been in the recess period.
Soon, the class started.

And as usual, I zoned out.

Zoning out has been coming to me so naturally, that whenever I actually pay attention in any class, I surprise myself.

Sitting on the farthest, last bench of the class, doodling some shit in my notebook while the teacher teaches, or just observing the students and their antics, or just thinking about the script or the content for my next video, or just randomly singing the lyrics of any rap song :- my type of heaven.

When I think about it, Harnit and Ritik were right.
I am stressed out.
Not sure about exactly what, actually.

Ever since I am gaining attention on YouTube after the BB Ki Vines video, I have been constantly stressing about my channel.
The three strikes that I had received recently, were like cherry on top of my immense anxiety regarding my platform.
I remember being so scared that I wasn't even able to sleep contently for a week or so; eating and drinking properly seemed like a far-fetched dream.
Even after Bheem Naroula removed the strikes, I was shook to my core.
Yes, obviously relieved to some extent, but the whole incident still scares the death out of me.