My Improbable Theories On Her.

20. Euphoria.

28th February, 2017.

I glanced warily at the clock ticking away from the dining table in the living room.
Half an hour.
Exactly half an hour later, my Board exams are starting.
That night's events still seem like a dream.
Unable to accept what had happened, I have been literally checking our chats from that night again and again as proof to what my parents had actually agreed upon.
This was huge.
I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.
Shh, Ajey, shh. Shaant.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
There you go, Ajey.
Better?

I kicked myself from inside when I actually nodded in answer to the question I had asked myself.
Khud hee se baatein?

But being restless that it is, my head yet again snapped at the ticking clock.
25 minutes.
Oh my goodness.

Maybe if I get ready and go to give the exams...
Maybe-just maybe I will be able to reach there on time.
Of course, my marks won't be that great. They never are actually.
Lekin, Ajey, baat tere marks ki kaahan hai?
At least tu exam tu toh dega na.
Maybe if you give it a second thought and go to school, you can save your future-

My thoughts were interrupted suddenly when a rough hand laid itself on my forehead and began massaging it.
I didn't need to look back as I was already sure who was behind me.

"Thinking about exams, eh?", he asked.
I nodded my head slowly.
"Why? Why rack your mind about that?", the voice asked.
"Second thoughts, Papa, second thoughts. The root of overthinking.", I said dreamily.

"What good will it do now?", he stopped the therapy and sat beside me on the table.
I frowned at the sudden loss of his therapeutic touch of relaxation.
I looked at his skeptical face.

"You aren't happy, no? With my decision, I mean. I am bringing shame upon you and Maa in the name of passion.", I said with a low voice.

"You have got to be kidding me, beta! Don't think such nonsense! Aesa kuchh nahi hai.", he said sternly.
I looked at him dispprovingly.

He clicked his tongue and said, "You know, I still remember that time when you were just a small kid and saw a football tutorial video on YouTube for the first time. As you scrolled through the different videos, your face lightened up revealing sheer aatonishment. Ajey, I might not show that I know, but I have seen your face whenever you see a video or upload one of yours. It is as if you never get tired of it. And more than that, I have seen it evolve from just a hobby to passion. And besides, what good it is to have second thoughts now?", he concluded.

I noticed that he didn't encourage me that I should not give exams and I would surely succeed as a youtuber.

"What did you want dad?", I asked and gulped.

"What did I want? I am not going to lie, but like any other parent, I wanted you to complete your studies first. And like any other dad, I am scared for your future, Ajey. But do you know why I agreed to it yesterday? Because much above my fear, lies the trust I have in you. I don't know what all problems you are going to face in this...this new life of yours, but what I do know is that no matter what, you are going to come out of it. See beta, no one can guarantee you the success in this field the way that completing your academics might give, but I know I can trust you. I trust your dedication and the potential that I have seen in you over the years. Me and Maa will never prove as any kind of hindrance between you and your goal, because you have to get past your hurdles yourself and make a place for yourself.", he smiled.

I, too, smiled a weak smile and nodded my head.

"Aur rahi baad ashame feel karne ki, don't you think I am already proud of the fact that my son has been nothing but dedicated and focused on what he likes? Success ka toh pata nahi, but I am already proud of you.", he smiled widely.