My Journal of Letters

Chapter-2

Dear Dad,

After you left I really didn't know what to do. I hated you for it. I told you EVERYTHING before I came out, you ALWAYS used to say "son you can come to me with anything it doesn't matter what it is." I guess you really didn't mean it did you because the one time I needed you, you were gone. I don't want to blame things on people but I just wanted you to know that you leaving and not wanting me is one of the reasons why I'm this way. Thanks Pops for everything I even wrote a song for you. I hope you like it.

Father, father, tell me where have you been?
Its been hell not having you here
I've been missing you so bad
And you don't seem to care
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?

Do you even miss us?
Your bottle's your mistress
I need to know, I need to know

Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
I will try to understand

Father, father, tell me where are you now?
Its been hell not having you
Last thing I heard, you were fed up, you're skipping town
With no note telling where
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?

I need to know, I need to know

Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?

Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know

Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?

Spent seven years wishing that you'd drop the line
But I carry the thought along with you in my mind
But is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Family!

Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?

Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know

Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?

Tell the new girl I said if she has a son he bertter not be gay or she wont like the out come.

-Kellin

I was in the library again because I don't eat lunch and I don't bother going and sitting at a table alone only for some asshole to come and cause trouble without some authority figure witnessing it.

"Hey Kellybear whatchu writing?" I quickly snapped my book shut as I heard Mike and his buddies come behind me. I set my book on top of my bag and stayed quiet.

"Oh come on Kell we just wanna know." Jaime said from my left. He was to close for my comfort so I quickly picked up my bag and left without any word.

I made my way to the boys bathroom so I can gather myself and my thoughts because they where off the charts. I jumped when I heard the door open but I was even more surprised when I saw the new kid Vic walk in all covered in a pink substance. He was muttering some stuff under his breath until he got to the sink and saw me looking at him in the mirror.

"Oh, hey." He smiled a little.

"What happened?" I asked in monotone even though I was really curious and worried about him.

"Just a minor bully incident no use crying over spilt milk." He shrugged and let out a dry laugh.

"What is it?" I asked again getting him a few paper napkins.

"It's um..." He put his finger in his hair where the stuff was then put it in his mouth tasting it. "It's a peppermint shake... Sticky as hell this shit is." He laughed and took the napkins. "Thank you."

I nodded and kept my distance. I tugged on my hoodie sleeve with my other hand. It's hot in here and that's only hot because its like 75 degrees in February here in California and I decided to wear a sweater to cover my scars.

"There goes my hair. I just straightened it this morning and now this-" he started to get quieter until I couldn't hear him. I didn't want to just stand there like a lump on a log so I got more napkins and wet them.

"Here, let me help you." I offered. He smiled and stood up straighter as I started to lightly dab the shake out of his hair.

"This guy thought I was flirting with his girlfriend and I told him I wasn't and that I was gay and he just laughed and dumped the shake on me and said something along the lines of 'burn in hell fag' or something like that." He said but this time he let out a shaky sad laugh.

I wet the napkin again and wiped is face. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes which were lined with tears that threatened to fall but didn't. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss him and comfort him right now. He blinked a few times and a tear fell from his eye and I subconsciously cupped his cheek and wiped it away. Something that moment just clicked and I pulled myself back to earth.

"I guess... err... I guess I'll see you in gym." I said and removed myself from the awkward situation.

--

I finally changed in gym class

but I put on my gym sweat pants and a long sleeve gym shirt. My sweats fit me kind of baggy and that's only because of my anorexia.

"Hey Kellin." Vic said as I sat at my PE locker. He was unlocking his which was right next to mine.

"Hey you got it off huh?" I said with a chuckle as I noticed his wet hair.

"Yea thank god I had extra clothes in my bag." He laughed as he opened his locker. He dressed and that's when I noticed how attractive his is. I gave a quiet gasp because he had a nice body for a shorty. He had a really tan figure and he was quite muscular in a way. "You like what you see?"

Shit. Busted. I looked away as I felt my face flush a bright shade of red. I knelt down to retie my shoes while he finished changing. When he was done he squated in front of me and whispered.

"It's okay 'cause I like what I see right now." I looked up just in time to see him wink and smile before he got up and left. I kept looking at the door as my face got even more red.

"I bet you won't when you see what I'm hiding." I whispered.