My Journal of Letters

Chapter-11

Vic POV

I closed the door and ran to the garage to see if Mike's truck was here. When I saw it I quickly ran in the house and up to Mike's room. His door was closed but being the asshole older brother I am, I opened it with out knocking. I really wish I knocked... He was on top of Tony kissing him very... Um... Intensely... He quickly got off of him when he heard the door open. I just walked in on my little brother and our best friend making out... I don't know how to prosses this...

"Fuck man haven't you heard of knocking?" He said very angry. Stuned, I shook the sight out of my mind, but made a mental note to talk to him later about this, and remember what I originally came here for.

"Sorry, uh... I need to use your truck." I said trying not to look at red faced Tony.

"What? Why?" He asked.

"I need it! Come on you can use my car if you need it! I need your pick up!" I said getting impatient.

"What if I want to use it?" He said getting defensive.

"From the looks of it your not going any where with the car or with Tony." I said playfully. Tony let out an inhuman noise before laughing quietly. I smiled and looked at Mike.

"Get out!" He said thowing the keys at me. "Leave your keys on the table, we have practice tomorrow don't forget." He reminded me. I nodded and stared walking away but he called to me. "Shut the door asshole!" I ran to the door I shut it and went to the closet before hearing a beeping noise come from my car. I grabbed my sarape blanket, and some other things, and ran out the door. Not those things ya perves!

"Ready?" I asked as I got to Kellin. He smiled and nodded and followed me to Mike's black pick up.

"Where are we going again?" He asked as we pulled out of the driveway.

"First to Little Cesars to get pizza and then to the park to have a picnic in the back of the truck." I said taking his hand in mine.

♢♢♢♢

It was about 7:30 now and we ate about 5 hours ago so and since then we talked and got to know each other a little more. After the park I took Kellin to an abandoned 3 story apartment complex, that I'd always go to every summer when I came home, and we sat on the roof. I got my guitar that I brought and smiled at Kellin.

"You're not going to try and teach me again are you?" He asked.

"No. I think my teaching days are over." I smiled. "I want to play you something. Remeber the song I showed you before? The one I said wasn't finished?"

"Yea! You finshed it?!" He asked getting excited.

"Well, no. Not yet I have all of it, it's just missing something." I said. "You wanna hear it?" He nodded quickly and I started playing.

"Don't react when I tell you...
And don't react when I tell you...
That bright lights mean nothing to you
'Cause no one would know the sound of a ghost
And I might be something to you
Beyond beautiful is the sound of a ghost

Can we lose our minds
And call it love for the last time?
(Yeah)
My darling never rest
Until the darker gets
The best of all we had
Can the cold carry on?

When the light means nothing to you
Then no one would know
The sound of a ghost
And I might be perfect with you
But no one would know
So tell me, tell me...

And bright lights mean nothing to you
'Cause no one would know the sound of a ghost
Oh, no one would know the sound of a ghost."

"I love it." He smiled before continuing. "But you're right, it is missing something." He said laying down. I laid with him and he allowed me to put his arm around him and hold him. A good 5 minutes passed by of silence and Kellin's sweet voice filled my ears. "Hey Vic?" He asked.

"Hmm." I hummed letting him know I was listening.

"Have you ever danced on the edge?" He asked.

"What?" Not really understanding what he was asking.

"Of the roof I mean. Have you ever really danced on the edge?" He said sitting up. I sat up too and just looked at him smiling. He got the hint that I still wasn't understanding what he ment. He rolled his eyes and got up before walking to the edge and standing on it."All you have to do was tell me you didn't understand." He swayed his hips slowly to the beat of his own music. He looked so beautiful standing up there with the sun setting behind him creating a silhouette around him.

"What are you doing?" I asked getting up still waching him. "Get down you're ganna fall." I said as he rolled his head back. It was scaring me, how careless he was being.

"Is something still scaring you?" He asked playfully rolling his head back again.

"Yes, you being up there. Please get down babe." I said.

"Come dance with me. I got you, just hold my hand, I'll hold you." He said taking my hand in his. I climbed up and looked out a the view. It was beautiful with the sun setting behind the city. "Imma jump on the count of three. Jump with me." Kellin said pulling me from my thoughts.

"What? Kell, no we are not jumping." I said pulling him back.

"Come on Vic. On the count of three just jump with me." He said looking down at the ground below. I pulled him from the the edge and back to the middle where the blanket was. "Come on... Ready, 1...2..." and before I could process things Kellin ripped his arm from my hands and took off running. "...3..."

Right then my training kicked in and I ran after him pulling him back to the ground before he had one foot over the edge. As soon as I got him down I held him close to my chest tightly. He started to shake while drops of water hit my chest.

"I'm- I'm so-sorry." He sobbed. I smoothed his hair as he continued to sob and repeat "I'm sorry Sara" over and over. I didn't question what he was saying because I remember our promise we made, and he would tell me when he was ready. After everything calmed down we went back to his house. "Stay with me, please." He asked as I laied him down.

"Okay just go to bed." I said kissing him sweetly. He kissed back and in a few minutes he was sleeping soundly. I texted Mike telling I was staying at Kellin's again and the grabbed my guitar to think of how to end the song.

After nothing came to me my mind wandered to the conversation Kellin and I had on the roof. I wonder what made him want to jump. What was he sorry for that he kept saying it to his sister. But the way he said it still haunted me.

"Have you ever really danced on the edge?"

And then it hit me like a tone of bricks. Thats what it's missing. I picked up my guitar again and strumed trying to put it together.

"Have you ever really danced on the edge?
Just hold my hand I'll hold you tight- No that doesn't make sense."

"Is something still scaring you?"

"Have you ever really danced on the edge? Is something still scaring you?
Have you ever really danced on the edge?.."

"Come on... on the count of three... 1...2...3..."

"The count of three is up.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?"
"All you have to do is tell me you didn't understand." Those didn't make sense so my mind manipulated them for a second and then bingo!

"All right, then, just tell me so.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?"

"Just hold my hand... Jump with me."

"Just hold my hand and jump.

And bright lights mean nothing to you
'Cause no one would know the sound of a ghost
Oh, no one would know the sound of a ghost."

I quickly wrote it down befor I for got and got in bed. As soon as my body hit the bed Kellin shifted around and cuddled into me. I smiled at the way he did this and I took note in how his sweet black hair covered his face. How his fingers and hands played across my back absent-mindedly. I was beginning to notice almost every little thing he did. I also took note in how my heart would speed up every time he was mentioned. I think I love him.