hange's sister (levi x fem!reader)

guilt

I am so so so sorry for not updating

PLEASE PLEASE LOOK AT THIS MASTERPIECE ON TOP. LOOK AT HANGE. HANGE. HANGE.

-

I woke up in a bed that did not feel like mine. It wasn't comfortable at all and it felt like I was sleeping on the ground. I looked around me and saw a room that looked like the infirmary. I vaguely remember what had happened at the expedition.

The only thing I remember is passing out and hearing people shout my name and check my pulse. I also remember the lifeless bodies of my comrades after being killed by the Female Titan. 

"Good. You're awake. Now we can talk about how big of a dumbass you are." I heard a familiar voice say from next to the bed I was laying on. I shifted my gaze from the white crusty ceiling to the eyes of the one and only Captain Levi. I rolled my eyes and sat up straight looking him directly in the eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, I was not expecting him to be here. He was the person to try and stay as far away as possible. "You were supposed to protect my squad and you failed." There was a hint of sadness in his voice that he tried to hide.

I looked down at my lap knowing I am partly responsible for their deaths, I should have been there to protect them. I kept quiet not knowing what to say since this was something I would never forgive myself for and he probably won't be able to forgive me either. 

I looked up and stared into his beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry okay. I tried my best and I never wanted them to die. I know this is my fault and I take full responsibility now if you would excuse me I would like to check up on my squad to see if they are dead or not." I mumbled. I wanted to escape from this room as soon as possible.

I walked out of the room trying to hold back tears as I was both in pain and I felt guilty. Guilty for everything that had happened that day. Guilty for all the lives we lost. Guilty for leaving my squad behind. I messed up and messed up badly. 

Once I was alone I lifted my shirt to see a lot of stitches and scars. I must've been hit pretty hard. I heard a lot of noise coming from the mess hall and decided I would go check what was happening. 

I took slow, but big steps towards the big door of the mess hall. I still heard a lot of people on the other side of the door. It sounded like the cadets. As I opened the door I saw Jean and Eren fighting... again.

After they noticed I was there they stopped fighting and looked at me with wide eyes. A lot of people started whispering and it made me anxious. I looked over to see Hange staring at me. She looked like she hadn't slept in days and had been crying.

She noticed me and stood up while looking at me directly in the eye. I tried to look away but then one second later she was already here hugging me.

"Ow, Hange you are hurting me," I grunted in pain. She quickly backed away from me and I noticed her teary eyes. 

"I thought you were dead," She cried. I started tearing up as well. I don't like seeing my sister in pain, it hurts me, both mentally and physically.

I always get flashbacks from whenever she used to cry in her room alone and I went in to comfort her but she wouldn't stop crying. I used to have night terrors and I sometimes still do. I have a feeling they might come back.

These 5 years have been stressful, with Eren being a titan shifter and the mysterious titans everywhere just appearing out of nowhere.

Life is hard. It will always be hard. It doesn't matter if you are an adult or a teenager. You will always struggle. No matter what.