hange's sister (levi x fem!reader)

hug

I apologize for not updating for like 2 weeks. I will try to update more. But please know that writing and figuring out is a very stressful thing and it takes a lot of time. I hope you understand.

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It was 8 am and the cadets would be arriving in 4 hours. I was excited since I would be in a squad with my best friends. But I wasn't going to go easy on them. I won't treat them differently because I know them.

I heard that Levi was already awake and that he was in the room next to mine. The office. The walls aren't very thick so I can hear almost everything. This might not be a good thing, but let's not think about that (yet😉).

I walked out with messy hair and my uniform on in a sloppy way. I wasn't in the mood to get ready yet. I didn't care at all. As he said, we should get used to it since we live together now.

I walked into the office without knocking. Why would I? It's my office too I don't care if he gets mad.  

He looked up at me and then back down at his paperwork.

"Good morning to you too." I joked. I was cheering up a little bit. These days have been depressing. I was less energetic and I had that nightmare. Maybe now there is someone that can protect me. Not like those years... Anyways, I feel safe, for once in my life. 

I hide my emotions a lot by laughing and being happy. But no one knows that once the doors of my bedroom or office close I am a completely different person.

I write to my parents about my emotions and how horrible the expeditions and missions are. I lost my best friend a couple of years ago. I try not to think about it, but I still feel like it was my fault. 

Now I don't have a place to write besides my bedroom. I share an office now and I can't let him find those letters. I don't want anyone to know about me or my life. Stay away from those letters and my emotions. 

I sat down in my chair and grabbed the paperwork I had to finish. I didn't have a lot of work to do since I did most of it yesterday.

Levi has not said anything to me and it is very concerning. Usually, he is already yelling at me. Did I say or do something wrong? Where is the real Levi? Is this an imposter!?!?!?

After a while of hearing pens touch the paper, I was finally finished. I saw Levi just sitting there with his tea. Weird.

"Levi. What is up with you today? You are acting so different." I finally spoke up. I was over the silence and I wanted us to become great friends. Is he hiding something from me?

 "I'm going to get tea." was all I heard from him before he walked out of the office. What the actual fuck is up with him. 

Today was May 20th. Is it an important day to him or something? Or a horrible day? I'm so confused.

I thought it would be okay if I went to the kitchen to ask him again. I walked out of the office and went to the kitchen. I heard sniffling but I was just imagining things, right? As I opened the door I saw a crying Levi while he was making his tea.

He has not noticed I was here and was just quietly making tea while crying about something I don't know. 

After a while of just standing there with wide eyes, he finally noticed me. He spilled his tea and wiped his tears away as fast as he could.

He was going to walk away, but I stopped him. "Levi, tell me what is wrong. Maybe I can help you?" 

"No."

"Yes. Tell me."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fine." He sighed. "It's my mom's birthday." I was shocked at his words. He must miss her a lot. I remember me crying every day on my mom's or dad's birthday. I can relate to this and I want to help him. 

He was about to walk away but I stopped him once again by hugging him. He was confused at first but hugged me back. He knows about my parents, that they are dead. 

His presence was warm and comfortable. I could fall asleep, but I won't. He buried his face in my neck and I felt his hot breath and his tears against my skin. He was hurting and I understand that. It's okay to cry. Don't go around acting all tough. Crying is good for you. 

Levi doesn't share his feeling with anyone, and I feel like this might change. We stood there for a couple of minutes before pulling away. We looked at each other. He was still crying and his gaze was soft. 

He grabbed his tea and walked over to our office. His hand was showing me that he wanted me to come with him. It's like he wanted to show or tell me something.

It was currently 10 am and the cadets would be arriving in 2 hours. We walked into our office and he went to his desk to grab something. 

He took a paper out of a box and it had a drawing on it.  It was Isabelle and Farlan... I vaguely remember them as the people who came here with Levi. 

"Do you remember them?" He asked me as he gave me the drawing. "I do..." I mumbled as I stared at the drawing. Isabelle looked a lot like my best friend who died.

I guess Levi and I have some stuff in common. I remember seeing Levi fighting the scary titan with red eyes who had killed hundreds of our comrades. He was really good. My best friend died in that same battle. It was hell and a painful thing to see. I saw my best friend's body just laying there. I lost someone else...again. 

I snapped out of my thoughts to see that Levi had already sat down on his desk. He was staring at me. He needs someone today, and I will be there for him. 

"Levi, I know how you feel... I'm here for you, okay? Don't bother coming to my room if you need someone." I mumbled as I walked over to my desk. He didn't say anything as he walked over to his chair too.

It was silent. I had nothing to do so I decided to write. It's not like he could see what I was writing. I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing. I usually write 5 times a week. I hope my parents get to read my letters at one point. 

To my dear mom and dad

I just moved in with Levi and we are waiting for the cadets to come. I thought today would be a little bit better than the past days. The nightmares were killing me and I hate not being able to go to you guys at night so you can comfort me. I am still trying to figure out who the murderer is. I will catch him I promise.

Today I saw Levi cry. It was painful since I can relate to him. I don't want to make everything about me and you guys being dead so I didn't say anything. This is not a trauma competition. He deserves to let his emotions out and not hiding them for once. I was reminded of Kira dying in the battle that day. I can't wait to see you again one day...

I have been reminded of the horror I went through in those 3 years. I know that you probably can't read these letters but please know that I have not told anyone about it. I don't like making my trauma my personality trait but it keeps coming back and gives me nightmares.

I hope you are resting easily...

Lots of Love,

Y/n

I finally finished writing and I grabbed the box in my drawer. I put my letter in the box and went back to doing nothing. I saw that Levi was also doing absolutely nothing. I guess he also finished all his paperwork. We had about 1 hour left before the cadets came.

I walked out of the office saying goodbye to Levi but getting no response. I went to my room and decided I would take a nap. I love naps a LOT. They just make life a lot easier.

I was really tired and this might just help me wake up a little bit so I can get ready for the chaos that is going to happen in an hour. It was going to be a mess and Levi's clean freak would come out. He is like a cleaning devil.

I pulled the covers over my body and closed my lids...