Tourette's || KuroKen

chapter 6 - long lost spring

Why can't he fight harder? Doesn't he love me?

Why can't I be..

With his mother almost full custody, he drowned in doubt, doubting everything he did. All he wanted was to be with his father, he despised his mother.

How did it come to this?

A couple years ago he loved his mother more than anything in this world, nothing could compete with the bubbly love he held for his mother. Now everything went crashing down like a teetering skyscraper, completely destroying everything that was built around it.

But even as he tried to get rid of the love and replace it with hatred, there was still that small bit in his heart of love for his mother.

•

One more year pasted by, one more boring birthday. Kuroo Tetsurōu was now at the age of twelve, the age right before being recognized as a teenager. But he still had one more year to go until then.

This year would be dreadful, full of disparity and manipulation. This year would be filled with fake faces, desirability and of course, emotional starvation.

•

It's been awhile since the last time Kuroo has gone to court due to his parents. He has been lonesome and lazy, it was the same cycle everyday. He wanted to get out and finally walk around, not stay in the dusty house all day. The window always creaked, looking like it was about to shatter from the weight it's holding from the house. One little flick and it would crash down, like him.

I should become stronger. Never care about their opinions, on me or anything!

Kuroo thought, trying to move his mindset into a more 'cocky' place. Some place where he didn't care about what people thought of him, only to have fun. It worked the slightest, but always that one speck of slimy sticky doubts.

He pushed those thoughts under the rug most of the time, but they oozed out eventually. When his mother always called him those nasty words.

"Disgrace!"

The hate he had for that word, every day he was described like that.

All the hate, the emotion, kept building up every day until it always burst. It burst into raging tics, tic attacks that always happened from the anxiety built up. Kuroo had nothing to calm him, everything always bubbled over. He needed that special thing he could hold, feel the comfort and warmth.

A cat.

Kuroo always looked out the window on the first floor, out into the neighborhood. He saw different colored cats walking around everyday, they were either fluffy or short-haired, either way they all looked adorable.

He loved to watch them jump on top of fences and act like they were on top of the world, he wanted to act like that.

Maybe, just maybe for his birthday he could get a cat that would rule his world. He could learn from the walking fluff and act like he was the king.

But he still had a year to go.

•

Today, a rather good day. Kuroo got to spend his time with his cousin and his father. It was spent with joy and laughter, something other than what happened at his mother's household.