HIBISCUS | Bang Chan of Stray Kids

Track 15

"You're doing well. When things are hard, I'll walk with you."

__________

Track 15

             Changbin's words struck Chan from his indecisive stupor. A leader must be able to strategize and calculate any fallacies prior to them occurring; however, a leader must be empathetic and understand the emotions and struggles his followers are facing. Only a great leader has mastered both qualities in an equal balance. For years, Chan mastered this concept when taking care of his members. Yet in this moment, he drew a line not only between the members, but also within himself.

             Strategically, Chan agreed with Minho and Jisung. He knew that if Stray Kids sidetracked from their much needed practice, JYP would automatically notice their slack and mercilessly call them out for it. Empathetically, Chan agreed with Hyunjin and Jeongin. He understood the struggles of being under JYP's microscope and cracking under its pressure more than any of the members would ever know. He wanted to aid her from taking the same path he did as a trainee, yet the wellbeing of Stray Kids held him back. Afterall, they would always come first.

             Jeongin, baffled by Chan's silence, mustered up every ounce of himself to shout at his eldest member, "Channie Hyung! Go find her!"

             Unable to resist, Chan bit his bottom lip and gave everyone one last glance, "We'll practice tomorrow. Go home and get some rest. Don't wait up for me."

             Chan left and swiped his ID card on the entrance security reader, allowing him to pass the glass barrier. He peered through the glass doors of the entertainment's lobby to gaze upon the familiar parked company van. After confirming its identity as the one he and Hwayoung drove to pick up the food from Aunt Mae's, Chan deduced that Hwayoung was probably still somewhere within the building. Thinking about the van made him reminisce about their secret operation. Something about that night burned a fond memory of Hwayoung and the members that he had cherished since. Even their childish karaoke ride managed to make him internally smile. In this moment, Chan wished to visualize Hwayoung with that same happy and carefree personality. Unfortunately, Chan drew back to reality with Hwayoung in her broken and vulnerable state of mind.

             "Excuse me," the front desk lady stepped towards Chan, who had been standing by the front door for a while, "Is there anything that we can help you with?"

              Chan pushed the invading memories away before bowing politely, "Ah, no, thank you."

             Chan reentered the elevator and stopped at each floor to look through every commons area and studio room only to turn up empty handed. Long before he went searching for her, the bubbling uneasiness in Chan's gut increasingly gnawed within him the longer it took to find Hwayoung. Chan sighed heavily as he rode onto the next floor. Thinking to himself, he considered the option of asking Manager An for his help; however, something within Chan urged him that he needed to find Hwayoung on his own.

             After much thought, Chan compromised that he would succumb to his defeat and find Manager An after he did his last check on JYP's garden rooftop. Chan waited nervously in the elevator, tapping his fingers along the sides of his shaking legs. He knew Hwayoung would be upset and he knew that he should comfort her, yet the part that confused him the most was why she was upset and how he was going to fix that. After years of looking after his members, Chan was considered an expert at solving group conflicts and helping Stray Kids overcome their obstacles; however, every solution Chan thought of in the span of the short ride seemed obscured or ineffective, leaving him stumped and tactless. Before he had the chance to devise a strategy, the elevator doors rang and slid open.