Amanda: Is This Love?

chapter 18

Its Sunday around 6pm and we are almost at durban. We've been on the road since 1pm when i fetched Phile from my parent's house ,i had to lie and say that her and I have a road trip, they didnt ask who we are going with so i didnt tell them either.

Zwe made us actually buy food for the journey before leaving he said we'll only get toilet stops,no pictures or anything like that because apperently a pregnant woman isnt supposed to be out on the streets late in the evening. I'm wearing a free flowing olive green dress,brown sandals, my new 18 inch brazilian weave with a brown doek over it and slippers.

We finally arrive at hammersdale and I'm very thankful that we are finally here. If you know the place you'd know it's not rural at all, it's a semi suburban township. We park outside the gate, the yard isnt as big as it would be if we went to their rural homestead in kwanongoma. We walk out of the car, i help Phile out of her car seat, my baby is exhausted its almost her bedtime.

Zwe takes out the bags and i assist him with some of the bags while he carries Phile and rolls another bag in. The gate was wide open including the garage Door. We walk in and knock at what i assume is the kitchen door. Shortly after, Zwe lets himself in. We walk in and find a beautiful young lady, who looks so much like Zande in the kitchen washing dishes.

"Bhuti!" She rushes to Zwe but stops as she notices that he's carrying Phile. She looks over at me, "sawubona sisi, I'm Alwande" she flashes me a smile then offers to take my bags so while she takes the bags i take try to take Ngiphile but she refuses. We walk into the living room, to my surprise the house is packed. There's 2 elderly people whom i assume are Zwe's parents then there's Zande(Zwe's sister),2 other guys that look so much like Zwe and then 3 girls playing on the carpet, i think they're around Phile's age.

Phile has had her head buried on Zweli's neck she hasnt faced these people since. We greet and everyone welcomes us and they make space for us. "Amanda, can i dish up for you?" Zande asks, I want to say no but i dont want to seem rude so i nodd with a smile. She stands and goes off to the kitchen. Phile finally gets off Zwe's lap and comes into mine, she immediately puts her hand into my breast and i know she wants to sleep, she has always done that ever since she was a little baby she'd just play with my one boob until she finally falls asleep.

She's asleep by the time the food is served. "Mlethe ngimbone(bring her here)" Zwe's mom speaks, I had Phile over to her but she has a rather concerned look on her face. Maybe I'm reading too much into this whole thing. After eating Zwe leads us to the room that we will be using.

There are 2 story back rooms outside the house, one unit belongs to Zwe and the others belong to his two brothers. We walk in with our bags and lucky for me there's an ensuit here, it's a bit small but I'll have to work with what i have. I put Phile on the bed then take my toiletry bag and my robe. I take a nice relaxing shower then when i walk out Phile and Zwe are no where insight. I fix the bed then start lotioning myself.

I had just taken off my robe to get dressed when the door swings open, Zwe walks in alone. He stops in his tracks when he notices that I'm naked. "Where's Ngiphile?" He's examining my body and he probably didnt hear what i just asked "Zweli!" He's stuttled a bit then looks up at my face. "She's inside sleeping with Zakhele and Sifiso's Kids.

He locks the door then walks towards me, he licks his lips and i know exactly whats on his mind. "No way Zwe dont even think about it, not in your parents house" he is now standing closing to me while his head is tilted to my neck, he's so close to my neck that i could feel his breath, as much as I just said we cannot do anything at his parents house but my body wants nothing more.

He plants a wet kiss on my neck, he goes on and caresses my breast while his other hand travels my body, he reaches my privates then moves his finger a bit before he stops!... he actually stops and goes to the bathroom, "what the heck Zwe!" He stops in his tracks "you are right, we cannot do this here, also dont raise your voice at me" he walks to the bathroom leaving me to process what this man has just done to me.

You know the adrenaline that comes with knowing that you shouldnt be doing something yet still you do it anyway? The excitement? Well for a second there thats how i felt. I get into bed and turn off the lights. He comes back from his shower then joins me in bed, completely naked might i add.

He tries snaking his arms around my waist but i move away. "maMthethwa let me bond with my child" trust Zweli to find a way to annoy me. He moves closer and starts rubbing my belly, he's also busy nibbling on my neck and my ear, he is so determined with just teasing me for saying what i said but I'm going to let him be.

The next morning, i woke up and when i checked my phone its 8h40, Zwe isnt in bed with me. I make the bed before taking a shower and changing into a body hugging tight fitting grey dress, my weave back on and a black doek. My parent's would kill me, Zwe didnt even bring a bird kwaMthethwa but already I'm wearing dresses and doeks playing the makoti.

I walk into the main house and find the kids sitting on the kicthen table having maize meal porridge. "Mommy!" Phile comes running to me. I carry her in my arms and give her a kiss. She tells me about her new "friends". There after i put her back in her chair before walking into the living room. I find maZungu and Zwe's dad sitting and also having porridge while Zande is in the dinning room dusting around and Alwande has a mop and a bucket cleaning the passage area.

"maMthethwa" Zwe's dad speaks to me for the first time. "Yebo baba" i say while taking a seat. "What do your parents say aboutyou being here?" I'm shocked at his question, i thought Zwe said that his dad is the one that wanted to meet us. I keep quiet while facing down. "How old are you?" He asks "I'm 26 baba" i respond "and already you are pregnant with your second child with a different man" that hit hard but I keep my cool.

"Do you think he will ever marry you if you continue playing wife to a boyfriend?" This man called me here to clearly bash me. "Has he ever discussed marriage or even a future with you?" Now my tears fall involuntarily. He clicks his tongue before alerting maZungu that he is off to rest because he has a headache. maZungu also stands after her husband leaves to follow after him. Zande and Alwande quickly rush to my side to hush me. "Don't mind him,uBaba is like that to all the girlfriends that were ever introduced"  Zande says. "She's right, besides we like you" Alwande says while flashing me a smile.

After sometime i take Phile then bathe her before going to Zwe's room to pack my things. Zwe gets back wearing gym clothes so I'm assuming they went for a long jog with his brothers. He finds me busy packing. "maMthethwa, whats going on?" He's still standing at the door and as soon as he asks i cannot hold in my tears. He leaves me there and walks out....