Amanda: Is This Love?

chapter 23

*5 years later*
"Hurry up mommy! We're already late" Phile is so impatient and besides, why is she the one looking forward to this wedding more than i am? Well today is Mpho's wedding! Yes, my friend finally settled down with her white prince charming, Jaden came into her life 2 years ago and eversince then my friend has never been the same.

I'm not part of the bridal team because I was away on work for 3 months, I've recently started my own events company and my network with big shot business people in the marketing field came in handy with decor and events gigs. I feel bad though that I barely spend time with my kids because of work, this is why I've decided that I'll hand in my resignation next week.

My babies have grown so much, Ngiphile is in grade 7 now and she's 13 years old. Buhle is in preschool and he's 5 years old now, these 2 are literally all that i live for, oh and Buhle recently adopted a dog which was an addition to our family. When my company started picking up 2 years ago i decided to buy a new house at southdowns estate near mall of the south, mainly because i needed a bigger space for myself and the kids and also space for me to manage my business at home. But recently I've accumulated enough money to purchase an office building.

You're probably wondering where Zweli is. Well after he confessed, i left with my kids and never set foot at the Ndlovu homestead and he never bothered to reach out which i am very grateful for. I slipped into depression for almost 2 years, I distanced myself from the world, i only found comfort in food, I detached from my family. My kids had to move in with my mother since all i ever did was go to work, lock myself up in my office and knock off to head home just to sit in my dark bedroom and stuff my face with food.

This went on for the longest time until  one evening when i tried to end my life, as i was about to drink the pills, my baby girl called to tell me that she was selected to represent the province in a national spelling bee, her excitement, how happy she was to tell me about her achievement, that on its own reminded me that i need to stop being a coward and be a better parent for my kids. That phone call reminded me that i am the only parent that Buhle and Phile have ever known so if i take that away from them they'd never be the same again.

The next day i decided to start therapy yet again, some days were better than others but the more i opened up is the easier it became to allow myself to find myself again. Gradually things became better until finally I felt that i was ready to be a mother again. My kids where happy to be back home with me and i couldnt be happier.

I'm 32 years old and a mother to 2 amazing children. "Mommy!!!" Buhle shouts as he bangs my bedroom door, this brings me back to reality. I'm dressed in a nude body hugging dress, transparent block heels, a nude block purse. I did my hair yesterday, its a simple afro ponytail extension to my already popping 4c afro!

"Okay I'm ready now lets go" I say while applying nude lipstick, yeah nude is the colour of the day. "Finallly!" Buhle says while running down the stairs to let Phile know that we are ready to go. I find them drinking juice sitting on the high chairs. "You guys were nagging me and now you are sitting drinking juice, really?" They dont even pay any attention to me.

"Geez mom, relax" Phile says while walking past me, my princess has grown so much she even has a say on what she wears, today she is dressed in a body hugging black dress which is above the knees, a white short sleeve t shirt underneath and a white airforce, she has her afro straightened, she looks like a real teenager and part of me doesnt like this at all.

We drive out in my mercedes benz E-Class coupe. The older i get, the more I fall in love with grown up cars. We drive off  and today is Buhle's turn to lead prayer. After the prayer we are now fighting over who gets to pick a song, yep this is my daily life, but i wouldnt trade it for the world.

We park outside the Munro boutique hotel,this is where the wedding will take place. We get there and it seems everyone is already in the chapel waiting for the matrimonial to begin. We walk in quickly hoping that the bride isnt in yet. "See, i told you we'd be late" Buhle says,"Shut up" Phile says to him,i shoot her a look before she apologizes, gosh these two are always picking fights with each other.

I must say this is a beautiful wedding, the decor, the vibe, the ambiance. We are now seated having dissert, its late and we'll be leaving soon since i hate driving late and we've got church tomorrow. "Amanda, hey!" I look back and I'm met by Zande standing next to her husband, I'm shocked to see her here but I've made a conclusion that she or her husband probably know Jaden because there's no way Mpho could invite her here.

"Zande, how are you?" She tries to give me a hug but instead i offer her a handshake, there's no bad blood between her and I but i will not be friends with the sister of a man who practically ruined my life. She tries to greet the kids but gets disappointed that they do not recognise her. She finally leaves "mommy can we go home now?" Buhle has been nagging me about going home yet all he wants to get there and do is just sit and play video games.

We bid farewell to my friends as well as bride and groom before driving home singing along to "intentional by Travis Green" we get home and as expected Buhle runs off to his bedroom to play games so its Phile and I watching movies. While in the middle of our second movie ,princess is already snoring. You'd think that she'd outgrow certain traits but clearly its all a part of her. I carry her to her bedroom before getting busy on creating my work portfolio, basically i gather all my decor and events coordination work in one document in order to present to prospective clients.

While working on my portfolio i notice pictures of a certain guy's birthday celebration. I remember how Noxolo set me up on a blind date with this guy among many other guys and it was all just failed attempts. I just never clicked with any of these guys, they just never matched with my weird personality so I finally decided I'll be by myself until God brings me my prince charming