Amanda: Is This Love?

chapter 26

My baby is breathing on his own now. After speaking to him together with Zwe his body began responding to the medication hence why now he's no longer on a lot of machines. I'm at the hospital all on my own since everyone is back home paying damages to my family for both Ngiphile and Buhle.

I'm sitting on the chair reading a story to my baby, his favourite bedtime story, when I look up i notice Zweli standing by the door holding a giant teddy bear, balloons and a toy car. He is dressed in a suit so I'm assuming he's on a lunch break. "MakaPhile(Phile's mother)" he smiles briefly before placing everything on top of the table like thing next to the bed. "How are you?" He asks, i sigh, I actually hate this question now. "I'm fine" he keeps quiet looking at Buhle.

"Uhm, i bought gifts for the little man, I hope he'll love them" i chuckle, "well he says teddy bears are for girls but he surely will love the car" he smiles proudly "look Amanda, I'd like to apolo---" i cut him off "listen Zweli, for my children's sake, i forgive you" i flash him an assuring smile.

We talk about random things before he has to leave again and go back to work. Later on in the evening i drive back home and good news are that everything went well earlier so maZungu had to go to Zweli's house in midrand to brew traditional beer in order for imbheleko(a ceremony to introduce a child to the ancestors) to be performed there as we cannot drive all the way to kwanongoma.

For the rest of the week my routine was pretty much just going to my sons ward, being joined by Zweli during his lunch break and driving home to catch up with Phile who is now in a much better mood. She's slowly warming up to having "uncle Zweli" back in her life but she is a bit reserved probably because she fears that he'll disappear again.

It's friday evening and I'm in bed with my princess watching Disney channel, when my phone rings. "Amanda, hello" I answer "Good evening Ms Mthethwa, this is Netcare clinton hospital, we are calling to inform you that your son has woken up and we would like you to come by as he has been crying" this has to be by far the best news ever. I get up from the bed, woke Alwa up to let her know then drove to the hospital.

When i got there my baby was in his bed letting out weak sobbs. "Baby" I call out as i stand by the door "mommy!" He smiles, this is what I missed. My tears fall involuntarily. He's back, he's finally back. I walk over to him and hold him in my arms I'm still in tears i prsy and thank God as well as our ancestors for keeping my baby.

I finally put Buhle to sleep then retired to sleep on the chair next to his bed, i cannot leave him, i feel like if i drive back home he might relapse while I'm not around. The next morning I'm woken up by nurses doing their morning rounds. My baby was still peacefully sleeping. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and rinse my mouth then went to the cafeteria to get some coffee. On my way back to the ward I'm met by Zweli and his older brother Zakhele, I'm shocked to see him, i dont know when he arrived in joburg.

I greet them then we all walk into the ward. My baby is up playing with a small toy car. "Morning baby" I kiss him and he giggles "morning mommy" he then looks at the two men who are strangers to him. "Hello big man" Zweli greets him, Buhle smiles and greets back but it turns to awkward silence before the nurse walks in with Buhle's food. I feed him even though he was protesting the whole time but he finally finished.

Zweli handed him the gifts he bought for him and he was so happy when Buhle's face beamed with excitement as soon as he saw the car Zweli had bought for him. The rest of the family came together with Bontle who I have recently got introduced to as Zweli's wife. For some reason she doesnt seem to like me and honestly I totally understand why but she honestly has nothing to worry about, I'm one person, I make sure to respect set boundaries.

*a couple of days later*
Buhle got discharged and imbeleko went accordingly now everyone can go back to their normal lives. Phile doesnt stop talking about how cool Aunty Lwande is, these 2 have become inseperable and a part of me is happy knowing that my babies now have a relationship with thier paternal side.

I'm most happy that my dad is okay with how everything happened, he said that if it involves the health of his grandkids then everything stops. I'm worried about him though, he has been getting sick a lot lately we even suggested that he found someone reliable to run the supermarkets for him while he tones it down a notch because truth is, he's no longer fit enough to do everything by himself and i dont know what ma and i would be if we were to lose dad so he really needs to consider retiring now.

Buhle and Phile are at school today, its a Thursday and I'm busy surfing the net looking for reliable interior designers for the office building which I'm looking to buy where I'll manage my events company. My phone rings disturbing my surfing, it's Zweli, thats odd, usually he calls on Phile's phone. "Hello" I answer while still preoccupied on my laptop screen "Amanda, hey look I dont know if its okay with you but can i take the kids for dinner today?" I kept quiet for sometime, he really has been trying to be there and make up for lost time which i truly appreciate.

"I dont know Zweli but today is a school night that might just affect their daily routines" he sighs in disappointment. "Well the thing is, it's Bontle's birthday and I'd really like to make it special for her by having the kids around" as much as i have nothing against Bontle but i also cannot disturb my kid's daily routine. "You can have them over for the weekend" he sighs, "alright thanks, I'll fetch them from school on friday" then he hung up.

Shame I really feel bad for Bontle, according to what i found out from Alwa, Zweli and Bontle have been having problems with conceiving for sometime now and obviously the whole family will assume that Bontle is the problem since Zweli has kids with me.

I've also found out that Buhle is the first male grandchild, and all of Zweli's siblings have daughters for first borns which is evident in the fact that Phile is Zweli's first born.

I drove to their schools to fetch them before we all drove home. Now part of the reason why i left my job as marketing director was because i couldnt juggle work and the homework that Phile comes home with as well as the house chores which are 100% my job. I thought of finding a helper but my friends think that Phile is old enough now and she needs to start contributing in house chores like dishes or cleaning their bedrooms but I just feel like she's still way too young though.

Zweli and I were planning to tell the kids about him on saturday but now that he's taking them for the weekend i dont know how that will work because sooner or later the kids need to know who Zweli is because the older they get is the more they'll ask questions as to why i kept him away for so long.