Amanda: Is This Love?

chapter 20

*3 months later*
I'm 7 months pregnant and I'm enjoying every minute of it. My baby is a big girl now and she's so excited about her baby brother. Today we need to go for grocery shopping then get my hair done because Noxolo invited us over for a late lunch at her place.

It's end of march and it is a bit cold. I'm dressed in a black body hugging turtle neck dress, a brown coat and stockings together with ankle block heel boots. I'm wearing a doek because my hair is a mess. Lately i love body hugging dresses because they expose my belly. Phile is dressed up and we are ready to go.

I'm also in the process of buying myself a new car, a range rover evoke to be specific. We pray then drive off to mall of afrika. We walk in and head to woolies for groceries then to the salon where my hair is washed then braided, bob box braids. I look fly!

We head to mikes kitchen because princess here is hungry. We get a table for 2 but as the waiter is taking our order Phile gets out of her chair and runs to a nearby table. Now she ran towards the tables behind me. I slowly stand to assess whatever it is that got my daughter so excited.

I'm shocked, i haven't seen him since that night i went to his house. He's dinning with a nice slim coloured lady who has a beautiful curly afro. Phile is already on his lap so i have no choice but to walk over to them. "Ngiphile!" I call out for her as i get to their table. "Amanda, Hi" Zwe looks nervous. I just smile at him then greet the lady before taking Phile who is now hysterically crying. We cancel our order then drive out.

All the way to Noxolo's place I'm just in a somber mood, my heart aches, Zwe really moved on. He's with someone else and they look happy together. We get to Noxolo's place and it seems that everyone is already here.

We knock before Noxolo's helper lets us in and leads us to the dinning room. "SURPRISE!!!" they all chant, even Phile joins them. My mum is here and this fills my heart with so much joy. I'm led to sit on a chair on the far end of the room. This is all too overwhelming, my friends really didnt have to.

The rest of the day went on great, i opened the gifts they bought for myself as well as the baby. After that we headed to my parents house because mum thought it was best we spent the night with them.

*Zwe's POV*
I'm out with Penelope for lunch. Her and I have been seeing each other for a month now. I like her, no actually i enjoy her company because i get to forget about my problems when I'm with her. Well it initially began as just casual sex but gradually we got to know each other and I think she's just what i need to block out my reality, the sex is amazing and thats what matters at this point but lately I've been getting vibes that she might have caught feelings.

We are still at Mike's kitchen and Amanda stormed out with a crying Phile. I feel bad my heart actually broke at the sight, she's almost due to give birth and I've never been a part of the journey yet again I ran away from my responsibility. I've lost my appetite I'm now thinking about Amanda and my kids, she looks so beautiful, her skin is flawless and the new hairstyle suits her perfectly.

"Zweli are you even listening to me?" Pen brings me back to the present, she can get so annoying at times being so needy and demanding my attention as if she's my wife. "Sorry about that" i say while downing my drink. "Are you related to them? The baby girl kinda looks like you" she's looking me expecting an answer. I just continue eating my chicken alfredo pasta, this reminds me of Amanda, she cooks the best alfredo pasta.

We finally settle the bill and leave. Initially the plan was for us to drive to my house but I'm driving her back to her place i need sometime to think. She doesnt even protest she just walks out and bangs my door. I drive to Amanda's house. The gaurds tell me that she's not back yet.

I find myself on the road leading to KZN, i need to speak to my dad, i need to fix things with Amanda and it needs to happen soon.

*next day-Amanda's POV*
I woke up with massive back pains,I'm still in bed and i cannot move because the pains are just so unbearable. I can feel tears involuntarily following. I try to sit up but when i do the pains start pressing on my lower abdomen. "Mama!" I call for my mother she comes rushing into my bedroom "Amanda whats wrong?!" I cannot even talk i signal for her using my hands.

She comes and massages my back, the pain gets less intense but it doesnt subside. I get out of bed and take a bath. After my bath i feel better, strong enough to walk downstairs. I find everyone having breakfast,i greet but my dad doesnt greet back. Things have been sour between us since finding out that i went to durban.

I take a seat and dish up for myself but as i reach for the bowl of fruit salad I'm struck by pain on my lower abdomen, i try to contain it because i dont want to alarm anyone. I eat while trying to hide the pain. We finally finish breakfast and i offer to assist my mother with clearing the table, when i stand i notice that my chair as well as the floor is wet, my water broke? But how? This isn't supposed to happen until in 6 weeks time. "Amanda?" My mum calls out for me and as I'm about to answer her the pain intensifies on my lower abdomen.

My dad stands to help me to the car while my mum follows behind us with Phile. We drive to the hospital and I'm taken to the labour room.

It's been a couple of hours now and the pain hasnt subsided. The doctors have been examining me and it seems as though i might be in early labour, apparently theres a chance of giving birth preterm but to a healthy baby.

I'm worried, scared, what if my baby doesnt make it? What if he later goes to have health issues because of the early birth. While stressed out the doctors come up to me and it's finally time for me to push out my baby.

*the next day*
I gave birth to a healthy baby boy,its unfortunate that he needs to be kept in the incubator until his lungs are fully developed. I'm in a bit of pain from the stitches but I'm trying by all means to contain that. My mum and dad walk in carrying sunflowers and blue balloons written "it's a boy!". My dad comes up to me and gives me a hug, I've longed for this for the longest time. I weep in his arms as he hushs me.

My dad walks over to open the windows. "So what's his name?" My mother asks, this brings ache to my heart because this would've been the best moment if his dad was around to name him. "Buhlebenkosi" my mum smiles, my dad also walks towards me with a smile "perfect name for my first grandson, his second name will be Thokozane" i smile with so much joy.

I think the name Buhlebenkosi is befitting for my son because in the mist of all that has been going on i still managed to see God's goodness through the safe delivery of my son, my only son.