A journey

Precious

My dearest diary,
It has been a while since we talk. I missed you dearly. What? you thought i have forgotten you. How could I. You are my dearest companion and faithful listener whom has been there for me other than Abang and my sisters.

Truthfully with so many things that has happened I kind of lost my mojo for writing which i really missed. So I am beginning again at the place where I first start to write. Yes, here with you my diary where i share openly the roller coaster ride of my life.

My dearest diary, I thought I have endured a lot and recovered. However i did not phantom that the worst was just around the corner. What was it? You wish to know. Well, firstly i was informed that i may suffer some blockage of my heart. I did the angiogram to get the correct prognosis.

الْحَمْدُ للَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِيْ
the test shows that i only suffered a minor blockage but i do not need any stent to be place to strengthen the valve. Despite the results I was told that I have to take extra care as unlike others I only have Two arteries instead of three. It is allah's will that he has provided me with this uniqueness. I am grateful that I am still alive and breathing.

But that is not the worst, while receiving the good news, I was then informed that they have found a tumor which is suspected to be cancerous in my left kidney. The news really knock me down and they told me the best treatment was to remove the whole kidney.

I was speechless but kept composure. Trying my best to be strong especially for my love ones. I broke down before the اَللّهُ and my cardiologist. I made one of the most difficult decision which to ask the renal specialist to remove the left kidney before the cancer spread.

My doctor son urged that i get a second opinion to see whether a partial removal is able to be done. After much persuasion I agree to see another specialist whom is known for his expertise to do partial nephrectomy. To cut the story short, he managed to remove the cancer tumor along with 20% of my left kidney. The blessing is I still have 1.8 kidneys which is functioning well. All is with the grace of اَللّهُ.

My dearest diary, it is during this challenging times, اَللّهُ has granted me to see who are truly precious to me. They stand strong by me giving me the encouragement, strength and support which enable me to make such decisions. They are truly precious.

And based on that experience befitting that the next alphabet is the letter P which is the first letter of the word Precious. The title i choose for this entry in this precious journal.

What was that? You want to know what is the true meaning of precious. According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary the word "Precious" means either of great value or highly esteemed or cherished. Can you relate my dear?

What you are confused and don't understand where this is leading to? Hahaha 🤣 you are indeed funny. I thought you understand me well enough that you could read me well enough.

Firstly, I have realized that life is indeed precious. Allah has given us a soul which we should guard as promised. I thought I might faced the worst and loosed my precious life. It struck me hard that I am not ready to leave and I was afraid. My ibadah was not strong and my sins are in abundance. I wonder how will I be able to face him. I realised that I should have prepared myself long ago but I was complacent. I blame no other but myself.

Secondly, during the test allah has shown me that I am not alone. I was surrounded by precious people whom loved me unconditionally. They as i said above gave me encouragement, support and stood strong by me. But most importantly they showered me with their unconditional love that allows me to face the test with lots of courage.

Who are these precious beings? Is that the question my dearest diary? Well among others are my parents, children, Abang, siblings and dear friends whom assisted not only with prayers but provided a landing hand to ease the financial burden. They are indeed god sent and I am grateful for them.

Do you get the lessons that I am trying yo record here, my dear diary? You do indeed. Well bravo.

Yes indeed, the first lesson that i learned was that Allah test those he loves. His tests are not beyond your means. In every test when we persevered and kept our faith in him, he will provide the solution. I agree during that challenging time, the overwhelming effect of the test blinded us of the solution provided by him.

My dearest diary, sincerely during the test I had forgotten the words of Allah where he has reminded us that he is always there and all we need to do is pray and seek his forgiveness and guidance. The precious people around me reminded me and that is what i did.

i just keep on praying and seek guidance.
الْحَمْدُ للَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِيْ
اَللّهُ
heard my prayer together with all those who were praying for me including my precious family, abang and siblings. He eased all process and the surgery was successful. I am cancer free for now.
الْحَمْدُ للَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِيْ

Well my precious diary, I am writing just to share and record one small part of my journey. I am writing openly not to seek sympathy or attention. I those who reads have received some good lessons, الْحَمْدُ للَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِيْ.
But those who thinks otherwise, I appreciate if they keep that within themselves.

On that note mu dear diary, I part ways with you temporarily with just a little wise question and answer for you to keep and ponder

Is life precious?
It is indeed
What should we do then?
We should handle it with care
How do we do that?
we should live it to the fullest and fill it with prayers and unconditional love
With whom do we share?
We share it with our precious one
Why?
Because they will carry your legacy and keep your memories alive with their love and prayers

I love you Abang, my children, my family siblings and dearest friends with all my heart
My heartfelt gratitude for being with me through thick and thin
May اَللّهُ keep you all safe and happy within its rahmah always
ﺇِﻥ ﺷَﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﻠَّﻪُ
اَمِين يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِيْن

Fin
Metropolitan City of Lights
20 February 2021
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

F