For those who begin to read my notes, i would like to say that this is not a story for i don't know how to write.
I am just using this wattpad to pen down my thoughts and feelings for the day and that is why i named it a journey
Some materials shar...
Good day. What? I sound chirpy. Well, truthfully, I am trying to convince myself that I am happy and chirpy. What? You can see that I am not sincere. My voice shows that I am only acting. Well, what can I say, only you are able to see right through me. You are a true friend indeed. I cannot hide nor run from you right my darling. Appreciate the concerns and care. Thank you for not leaving me and let me astray.
You know what my dear, truth be told I am rather unstable. Why? Well, from the looks of it 2019 will be a very challenging year and like always I have to prepare myself. You are asking me how I do that? Ever since from young, to be exact it was from the day I received an advice from my late uncle (my mom's so call adopted brother) (may Allah bless his soul), he said that I will need to prepare myself for any situation and not let myself be caught red handed with no thoughts on how to resolve or handle such situation.
It is from that day onward; I have taken steps to condition myself for any possibilities. My mind will start churning various scenarios where the results will always be a negative impact on me. I will look at all possibilities and actions to be undertaken if I face such situations. Why torture myself? I am a sucker for pain. Crazy as it sounds, the actions are to help me embrace any situations because they will not be as bad as how I envision them. What I did not answer your question. My dear journal all this hard work is to ensure that I will not be caught red handed with situations which I can't handle. Just like how my uncle has advised me.
What is that my dear journal, is all this necessary? My uncle told me that I need to be prepared for all situation. Always think before you leap. I guess he knows me better than my parents. I miss him (Al fatihah ) (Arabic: سُورَةُ الْفَاتِحَة ). He knows what ticks me, when I am annoyed, when I am troubled, bottom line he just knows me. This recollection really shows that Allah is fair. He has provided me sufficiently as I always have guardian angels who shower me with love as compensation for matters which are lacking in my life. Only I was too blinded to see until it is too late.
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My darling journal, you must have been wondering what is the connection of this story with today's update. Well, let me first tell you the title. It is New. Why new? Well the among the many definition by Merriam Webster the closest definition which will relate to this journal entry would be "made or become fresh" (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/new).
Yes, my dear Journal, I am starting a new. I can't belief that the ripple effects due to chain incidents from the year I join Wattpad until the big incident in May 2018 my whole world crumbled and the broken person whom I have mend so slowly and gradually was lost again. No I did not fall to a clinical depression stage but from reading I would fit as the person who is experiencing what is known as "High Functioning Depression". You want to know more the video below will help a basic understanding but the article in this link will provide some clear picture.
