The Goblin's Heir

Chapter Sixty Six: The Forth of Five

With a quiet growl of discontent, Hughes offered me his hand. It hung there before me, the palm turned skyward and fingers loosely curled inward, an unanswered question. I was suddenly aware of how fast my heart was beating so hard I was sure he could see it striking against my ribs each time I drew a breath. I'd done it. I'd asked him for a dance, but what exactly was I daring to entice? There were so many questions in my head. So many what ifs. Is this right? Is this wrong? Would he hate me for this? Would he care? What will my sons think? What kind of wife am I? Do I really just want  a dance? What do I want? What should I want?

"Mrs. Pole?" He called to me faintly. Still the questions raced through me, turning me cold from within. "Matilda?" I almost bolted. I almost went screaming back into the hen house with the rest of the old chickens, past their prime  and slowly dying. "Tilly?" 

The name from my childhood snapped me back to reality. I breathed deeply the crisp night air scented with wood smoke, faerie wine and distant death. As I blinked my eyes, my gaze fell from the concerned crinkle of his brow to the hand that had seized mine. He grasped it gently, just firm enough to keep me there, but loose enough that I might break away if I wanted. I stated to scold him. I'd never even let Knut call me that. It was a name that belonged to my past, I'd always thought. One reserved only for my dead parents and the little girl that had perished with them. I didn't. The words formed on my tongue, weighted them down, but didn't quite make it out of my mouth. 

"Do you still want to dance or have you blessedly come to your senses about the whole nonsense?" He asked. He still hadn't let go of my hand. It held it still like he'd grabbed me at the edge of a cliff, saving me from the plummet. 

"You worry too much." My inner voice scolded. "It's only a little fun."

"I'm afraid you're not quite off the hook yet, Hughes." I smiled, flashing teeth in the dark. My feet unstuck from the ground and we walked together to where the dancers had shifted back into their starting positions as the musicians prepared to begin a new song. A murmur went through the open space as our audience whispered beneath their breaths over the scandal of it. The monstrous queen of goblins and a widow no less, dancing with the ex royal physician? A divorcee? I don't dare reveal how absolutely delicious it was to have my name on every man and woman's tongue. 

Frit leaned forward, peering down the rows at us with a sharp eyebrow fully cocked and an amused sort of smile that was so painfully Knut  it again made me second guess this choice. I felt my face heat, wondering what he thought I was up to, if he was angry, ashamed or merely, as his expression suggested, amused that his mother wanted to dance with the young folk. 

The musicians began to play a slow, light song, very different from the high energy one they'd played before. I heard Hughes growl a number of colorful curses, some of which were entirely new to me. "I hate this bloody song." He spat with true venom even while his feet began to move, copying the others in a skipping step. He moved forward with the rest of the men and held up his hand. "I do hope you're happy. You've made a right fool of me." He smirked, his eyes shifting to the woman next to me and back.

Realizing I'd just been standing there stupidly, I scrambled to move into position, stepping inward to touch my hand to his, moving our bodies inward so we were just close enough to feel a thrill, only to retreat and part again. "Don't be so dramatic, Hughes. You're a fine dancer. You're stumbling far less than I am." We spun around each other  just before we let go, swapping places in each other's row. It was the women's turn then to make that skipping step and make the first move toward their partner. I watched the lady next to me out of the corner of my eye, trying not to fall on my face. The step was more complicated than it had looked from afar. 

"I never said I couldn't dance, just that I hated it." He chuckled lowly as he raised his hand to press his skin to mine. "It's usually so boring it puts me to sleep."