The Goblin's Heir

Chapter Twelve: The Fifth

The goblet slipped from my hand, clattering heavily at my feet and breaking the numbing silence. 

Wine saturated Knut's grey hair and fine clothes, making both locks and fabric cling to his skin. He ran his tongue over his lips, catching the droplets coming off the tip of his nose. He lifted his black eye to mine. "I deserved that." He muttered. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cat yelled, shoving my shoulder. Though she jostled me, I stayed as I was, my hand held out as if still grasping my goblet, staring at him, feeling things towards him I never thought I would. It was more than just anger. It was hate. It was fear.

Cerise's accusing words echoed through my skull. "Your love is conditional."

I felt Floki's large, calloused hands on my shoulders, gently trying to pull me away from his father. "Come now, Mama. Why don't you go lay down a while."

"Let go of me!" I snapped, ripping myself free of him. "What more are you going to let The Hollow take from me before it's enough?" I asked Knut. He pressed his lips in a hard line, his eye dark with pain. He had no answer for me. Perhaps there was no answer. 

I looked about the room, at all those staring faces with their pity and their amusement and I ran from the room, dodging my sons' reaching hands.

"Mama!" Floki called after me.

"Let her go," Knut told him. Floki, ever the obedient son, listened to him. His footfalls went silent. They all went quiet. Save for her. I could still hear Cat's unique footsteps at my heels  and her voice shouting my name as she chased me into the hall.

 I ran faster, as fast my heavy skirts would allow. I didn't get more than a few yards down the hallway before my lungs seized with a pitiful sob. My run slowed into a slow stagger as I struggled to catch my breath through the choking weight that had settled in my chest. 

"What was that all about?" Cat called after me, stomping her fine leather boots as she stormed towards me. "You just cannot stand that he treats me the same as your sons, can you? As much as you shamed me before, the truth is you hate that he loves me! You always have!" 

I doubled over and vomited all over the imported Unseelie rug. I fell to my knees, retching, feeling no relief. "Why?!" I sputtered, clawing at my chest as if to rip my own heart out. "Why?! Why?...why?" The word grew smaller and smaller, fading into a disgusting sound as I vomited bile. 

Cat sighed heavily, coming to a stop over me. Her boots filled my vision as I retched and gagged and coughed. "God, you're pathetic." She squatted so I could see her face. She frowned at me. "Was it the wine that made you sick, or the thought of me being called your husband's heir?" 

"You aren't his heir!" I spat, wiping the spittle from my mouth on my satin sleeve. "Knut's lost his bloody mind if he thinks you'll last two seconds in that arena."

"He wouldn't offer me the chance if he didn't believe I was capable of being his successor." She said, pridefully. "You just don't think I'm worthy," the pitch of her voice changed, turning softer, "of being anything."

"Stupid girl." I groaned. "He's killing you. He's killing you and you think it's an honor." She lifted her eyes back to me. They widened. Her bow-shaped lips parted slightly as if she were looking at something wondrous.  "I thought you were safe." I sobbed, pounding my fist weakly against the floor. I looked up at her through bleary eyes, my face slick with tears and snot, my mouth sour with the taste of vomit. "You were the one thing I wasn't supposed to lose." 

Cat's expression softened. Her brows relaxed and her lips parted in a soft inhale. After a moment, she took my arm and slung it over her neck. "Let's get you cleaned up." She said, hoisting me to my feet. "You stink worse than Odd after he's been rolling around with his hounds all day."