The Goblin's Heir

Chapter Two: A Selfish Wish

It was clear to me that Knut didn't like my request. He went quiet for a moment and his smile fell as his arms slipped from around me. "A baby?" He asked, saying it like I'd asked for the moon. "Are you joking?"

My heart shuddered and quit in my chest, falling like a stone into my belly. "You're mad..." I said, fidgeting with my hair. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. I had a feeling he wouldn't be happy. We had our children raised and now I wanted to start all over again, but it still surprised me somehow. All I wanted was for him to smile and kiss me, to be happy like he was when I told him I was carrying each of my other children. "I'm sorry, I know that came out of nowhere. I was going to talk to you about this when we met today, but you never showed up."

"I'm not angry, just...surprised and a bit confused." He said softly. "I thought you didn't want any more children?"

That wasn't exactly true and it wasn't altogether false either. We'd tried off and on through the years. Nothing had ever come of it. Once the twins were in their teens, I'd told Knut I didn't want to try anymore. It had been my choice and one I'd made with immense relief. I'd wanted so desperately to give him what I thought I owed him, but I'd come to the realization that I couldn't...bare it. The risk of it. The possibility that something could happen and I'd lose another child...before it was time to lose them. Eventually, every attempt was followed by sickening dread as I waited to see if it was successful or not. As wanted as that fifth baby was, I was happy when he agreed to stop.

"I didn't... but lately  I've been thinking a lot about what The Hollow showed us at The Upheaval. We're supposed to have five children...and...I don't know why...but the idea doesn't scare me like it used to." I stroked his arm in a soothing way, moving my fingers along the soft maroon velvet of his coat. "Maybe it's a sign that I'm finally ready." 

"I'm glad that you feel more at ease," he said looking down at my hand. "but, it's been twenty years since the last one. The others are grown, old enough for their coronation. I don't think they'd be particularly thrilled to have to wait twenty years more for this one to grow up."

"It's not as if goblins age like humans do. They can wait." I smiled at him. "And just think, you'll finally have the full brood you were promised. Five heirs. One more to try for your crown." I tilted my head slightly, looking up at him through a fan of lashes. "We'll still be short one, but at least we'll be closer to what our family was supposed to be." I hated that I could hear the manipulation in my own voice, hated that old habits still refused to die. I would still stop at nothing to get what I wanted. 

Slowly the corner of his mouth pulled upward. He smirked at me with the smallest of chuckles. "You really want another baby? You're sure?" He brushed the back of his hand along my cheek adoringly, looking at me in the way only he ever did. Like I hung the sun and stars and put the breath in his lungs. "I don't care what The Hollow showed us, you don't owe me another heir. You don't have to have another baby if you don't want to give me one. You've given me more than enough."

They were the same words he'd told me when I'd asked to stop trying all those years ago and they rang as true this time as they did back then. "This isn't for you. It's a purely selfish wish. I want to give you another son." I said, clutching his arm and lifting my mouth closer to his. "What's the harm in trying?"

"We never had any luck when we tried before." He closed his eye. His brow furrowed in a pained expression. 

I kissed his jaw. "Then we'll need to try more often then." I laughed against him, pressing my brow to the curve of his neck. "Unless you don't want to. If you say our brood is done, then it's done, but I wanted you to know how I felt."

"Well," he said, sighing softly. He gave me a mischievous look. "I suppose it would be fun." He flashed a big smile that made my heart leap. 

 I dragged his hand from my cheek to my mouth, laying kisses to his palm, his knobby knuckles, the clawed tips of them. "Thank you, Darling." I breathed, clutching his hand against my mouth, savoring the feel of his cool skin against my lips. "I was afraid to ask you. I didn't know how you'd react."