The Goblin's Heir

Chapter Sixty Nine: Distraction

I was jostled awake by a gentle hand and opened my eyes to Bran bending over me, his face too close for comfort. "What do you want?" I mumbled, still half asleep. Hughes and I had talked through the night and into early morning, the hours passing unnoticed. I had told him everything, every little thing I could think of about Knut. There was pain. There was longing. I cried and I laughed and by the time I couldn't think of anything else to say  the early sun of Summer was starting to rise. We'd parted with friendly goodbyes and I'd slept more deeply and soundly than I had in a while. There were no dreams. There were no horrible thoughts, just the blissful silent darkness of unknowing sleep. 

"I'm sorry." He quickly moved himself away as if dodging snapping jaws. "You were sleeping so deeply I thought you were dead for a second." He put his hands in his pockets as he looked at me, watching me sit up and push my tangled hair away from my face. "The others were wondering where you were. It's almost noon."

I spat a curse under my breath. "I went to bed late. I'll be there soon. I need a bath first." I'd collapsed into bed as soon as I'd gotten in. I could smell myself. 

"I will tell them you're on the way." He said, but he stood there, still looking at me with his mother's almost white eyes, looking like he was waiting for me to say something.

"What?" I snapped, my fingers snagging on a particularly bad knot. 

"It's the last day before everything changes." He said thoughtfully, leaning against the small table in the bedroom. "We'll arrive in the Summer Branches by noon tomorrow and we'll either succeed or..."

"Or we'll all be dead." 

He nodded quietly. "Some of us will be dead either way."

"Is that a warning?" I asked.

"It's a surety. It's a battle. Not everyone will survive it. It would be a miracle if we didn't lose people. Especially considering what we're up against. We have the goblins to contend with and and I doubt that Aurora will be too happy to see you either after you kidnapped her daughter."

"Do you know who's going to die?" I asked, my insides going cold. 

"I think you already have some idea, yourself."

"I do." I swallowed. "Odd is going to kill Magni once the seed is destroyed. He told me himself."

"Are you going to let him?"

"I honestly don't know. He came to me the other night, upset and afraid. He knows what Odd is plotting and he wanted some comfort from me. He's still begging me for forgiveness."

"Have you forgiven him?"

"I don't know how to forgive." I told him truthfully. "I've never been able to figure that out. Holding grudges, hating, is easy. Forgiveness is very hard. How can I when he took someone I loved so deeply from me? When he came back, I thought a prayer had been answered. Something precious that had been stolen from me had been given back. Not only would I have time to get to know my Magni, but I would have more time with my family because of him. I even had moments when I hoped that he would win the crown. Selfish. Hateful. Despicable moments when I actually wanted him to live more than the others. Now I wish he'd never come back at all, that he'd just stayed ashes...my baby who'd barely been given the chance to live...I wanted him dead as badly as I'd wanted Jasper and Tova to suffer. Yet I felt sorry for him when he came to me weeping. I can see that he's wasting away, that he's too thin and worried and sad, and all I want to do is help him. Even though he murdered Knut, killed him in such a painful way, I still fill the need to be his mother."

Bran paced restlessly as I spoke, his feathers bristled and standing on end. "Enough, boy. Stop your pacing and tell me what's wrong." I demanded, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and rushing over to grab hold of him, forcibly stilling him.