The Goblin's Heir

Chapter Twenty Eight: One Last Bargain

My tongue grew fat in my mouth. I was unable to speak, unable to give an answer, completely incapable of deciding which was worse. To be left in the same helplessness we had been for the past several days or to give up all my Hollow-given gifts of beauty, youth and strength in exchange for the knowledge that would not only set us free in an instant but give us the knowledge we needed to move forward in our task.

"What's with the hesitation? Is it not a fair trade?" The owl witch asked with her usual evil glee. She was enjoying herself immensely, watching the way I squirmed in my indecision. "What's the matter? You told me I could name my price and you were willing to have me rip you into pieces if it set you and your precious children free. Yet now the thought of turning old and ugly gives you pause. Really, Matilda. You're not even that old." 

I truly didn't know where this hesitation came from and I was overcome with a sense of shame over it. For all my blustering, I was indeed afraid of losing my long-lasting youth and beauty. In all the years that had passed since I married, The Hollow had kept me young, probably just so I would have the time and ability to raise numerous broods of goblin children should the first batch all fail their tests. I didn't appear to have aged much at all since I was seventeen, though in reality, I was nearing my mid-forties. Once I gave that blessing up, the years would mount up quickly. Wrinkles would crease my face ever deeper with each passing year, my golden hair that Knut had so deeply loved would turn white, the spine I'd held straight with pride would bend and the strength in my muscles would fade as my body atrophied. That was what I feared more than the rest, more than not being beautiful, more than the growing old, or even death, but being weak once again when my children needed me to be strong. 

"What did you mean by battle-scarred?" I asked, wary of taking her words at face value. It would be a dangerous mistake to do so. Dealing with the three siblings, was much like being granted a wish from a genie. You had to be careful how you worded your desires or they might grant it in a way that would leave you worse off than you were before. So many fears filled me to my brim. There were too many ways I could destroy myself by taking this deal. Part of me wanted to flat out refuse her, but my children were still trapped in their jar and our tracker was pinned to the wall like some sort of macabre art piece. Athane would not just let us go, not while she still lived. Not without an equal trade.

"Are you that worried about being ugly?" Athane snickered.

"I'm worried about being able to move at all. Without the blessing, would every scar I've ever suffered reappear? Because I'm fairly certain my body would be made up entirely of scar tissue." Back when I'd fought Lysander, he'd cooked me alive in my iron armor with the shier amount of magic he poured into me in his effort to destroy me. The metal had gotten so hot, it melded with my flesh. I could not imagine being able to bend my legs to walk properly let alone having to live the rest of my life like that, with the molding of my bestial armor carved into my body. 

"By giving up the blessing, you will lose everything it granted you. You will appear as your actual age and you will continue to age naturally. You will be prone to illness and to death just as any other middle-aged human woman."

"And the scars?" I prodded her again since she was dancing around the answer.

"The ones you fear were healed by your hostage's father not The Hollow, but there are scars of all kinds. Not all can be seen with the eye. Those, that only The Hollow was able to wash away, that it dulled, will return." She said, smiling more broadly as my scowl deepened. "You have other options if you don't wish to fulfill the bargain yourself. There are two others here that possess what I seek. Neither received it by choice. I'm sure one of them would gladly give it up if you but asked. Have Cat or Cerise give me my payment if you're too afraid to do so, oh great and vicious Goblin Empress."