Ineffably Yours

Processing

"So, this is a stupid question," began Jenna, accepting a mug of hot chamonile tea from Aziraphale in the back living room of his bookshop, "since it's probably self-explanatory, but I'm gonna ask it anyway: what exactly IS a 'Devouring Energy?'"

Aziraphale froze in the act of handing Crowley a tall glass of wine for a second, then cleared his throat awkwardly and set the tea tray down shakily on an antique side table. "Not stupid at all, my dear," he mumbled, carefully sitting on the edge of his customary armchair and gazing fearfully at his fidgeting hands. "Um, well, to put it very simply, a "Devouring Energy or Entity" is, as far as we know, a sentient force whose only known desire is, as you intuited and its name suggests, to consume all it encounters. In the case of That Which We Shall Not Discuss--"

"Your lot really call it that, then?" asked Crowley conversationally, a mocking smile playing about his lips. "I thought that was just a rumor--"

"Yes, well, Gabriel insisted," replied Aziraphale testily, rolling his eyes. Crowley nodded in understanding, then took another sip of wine before setting down the glass, leaning back on the tan couch and wrapping a long arm around Jenna's shoulders. She shuffled into his embrace and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Force of habit, I meant to call it whatever your people do--what is it? 'Insane,' or some--"

"It's Insa, Angel," sighed Crowley in exasperation, shaking his head and covering his eyes with his right hand. "Short for Insatiable, a nickname."

"Ah," said Aziraphale, nodding in understanding. "That makes much more sense. Well, anyway--"

"And what's all this about 'my people?'" continued Crowley, frowning. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't exactly associate with my Hellish brethren much since Armageddon't--"

"Well, you started it, referring to celestial beings as 'my lot!'" Aziraphale spat back, crossing his arms and glaring at the demon.

Crowley opened his mouth to blindly argue when Jenna held up a finger and interjected, "Zira does have a point there, honey. You did say "your lot" when asking if angels really called Insa 'That Which We Shall Not Discuss--'"

Crowley groaned. "Fine, fine," he conceded, kissing the top of her head and continuing his glaring contest with the angel until Jenna made him apologize, which he did so reluctantly.

"Thank you," replied Aziraphale primly, straightening his waistcoat and nodding curtly. "Anyway, Miss Kingsley, as I was saying--in the case of Insa, the Devouring Energy leaving its home in world AB78% for God's universe, it usually takes the form of an immense black cloud, larger than the United States, and invades worlds like a fog, dissolving everything in its path until there's nothing left--not even Nothing."

Jenna frowned and opened her mouth, when her boyfriend groaned again and chastised Aziraphale, "You can't just talk like that, you know! Even I barely get what you mean and we were both around when Nothing was invented! How d'you expect a normal person--"

"Celestern," Jenna corrected him automatically, frowning deeper and glancing between the two man-shaped corporations worriedly.

"Fine, Celestern--" conceded Crowley, "but who was still raised on Earth, by humans, with their weird little concepts of time and space and stuff, to know what the Heaven you're talking about?!"

"Well, there's no reason to jump down my throat about it!" whined Aziraphale, looking a bit hurt and crossing his arms defensively. "It was hard enough explaining Devouring Energy accurately while excluding the more complex bits about collapsing quarks and the sixth dimension--"

"Oh, you and your stupid quarks--!"

"Hey!" interrupted Jenna loudly, glaring at the bickering supernatural entities. "Stop fighting! Crowley," she continued in a softer tone, turning towards the shame-faced demon. "I know you're scared and stressed--"