One of the most frustrating things is being jealous of other people success. Especially when it's someone that you know and care about. People don't talk a lot about how frustrating and guilty a person feels when they are jealous that another person is getting certain opportunities or advantages that they don't have.
I can be completely content and happy with the level of attention or success I am getting until I see how much someone else is getting. And it's really annoying because a lot of the time with me it happens with other girls. I will never actually bring down another girl for her success because the rest of the world already does that on a daily basis. But if I'm being brutally honest I will internally somewhat hopes she looses part of it or that it doesn't work out for her in the long run.
I can't even justify it because in my opinion hating other people's success in some way always come from a selfish and narcissistic place. When it happens to someone I know it feels like I am loosing that person. Someone who was on a similar level with me is now being brought up and looked at in a different way and they are being acknowledged by so many other people. When that persons success doesn't fade then the only thing that does fade is our connection to each other, and how close we are because we used to be so similar. Now the only I can see it how different we've become.
It's annoying because now a person or thing that I love or deeply care about is now being discussed by a lot more people. And it's starting to loose it's appeal to me which is aggravating because the thing or person itself didn't actually change. So I can't even pretend like it's not my fault if I want to distance myself from it because im just angry, selfish, or jealous.
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Thoughts of a Teenage Mosaic
RandomA series of random thoughts and feelings from a person who can never tell the difference between when they are being insightful or stupid, rambling or making sense, and being accurate or trapped in their head.
