I wish you were gay||Billie Eilish story

Chapter 6

Lila's P.O.V.

I was very hesitant. I hadn't told anybody this before besides scarlet. I was finally getting over it and here it was again. I was deep in thought and didn't realize I pulled some hair from the back of my head. Oh no. Not this shit again. I just got over all this a year ago. I just stare at the hair in my hand and I could feel billie looking too. I know she wanted to say something but she didn't. She waited patiently for me to speak. I was so fucking embarrassed. She probably thinks I'm crazy now. I don't know why but her kiss calmed me and made me feel safe. I looked at her and started slowly, "When I was 13 my mom worked a lot since my graduation and stuff was coming up. She had my older sister watch me. She's my sister on my dad's side. It was Saturday and around 10pm I think. My sister came into my room and told me to get ready because she was going somewhere and I had to come too.I had on this crop top and biking shorts. I had this black leather jacket on and little black bag. By the time we were done it was 11pm. I still had no idea where we were going. We just got in her car and soon we pulled up to I guessed one of her friend's house. I calmed down some feeling relieved we weren't going to a club or anything like that. I've been to a few of her friends houses but that one I've never been to. It was big and as we approached the door I could hear loud music. I thought we were just going to hang out with a few of her friends but it was a party. I  didn't want to be there but I had no choice." I paused to see Billie's reaction. She just sat there listening. She was a good listener and I liked that. I continued. "So she went in greeting her friends and they said hey to me. Apparently I was "cool" so they didn't mind me there. I wasn't planning on drinking or anything. I just wanted my sister to enjoy herself and then we go home. My mom got off at I think 6 in the morning so my sister had nothing to worry about. My sister went around partying and playing with friends and about half an hour later her boyfriend came. I wasn't a big fan of him. Honestly he seemed like a douche bag. He came with a group of his friends. She ran over practically drooling at the sight of him. It made me kind of sick but hey it's not my business. They were kissing or whatever and then they wanted to play spin the bottle or sum shit. When they were done fucking around and my sister was drunk it was 12-ish. My sister drinks a lot so she was still pretty aware of what was going on. Her boyfriend, his friends, my sister, and me were sitting on the couch when one of his friends insisted I have one drink. I said I'm good and that one of us needed to have some sense. But my sister agreed and told me not to be such a buzzkill. I finally gave in but I told her only one drink. I didn't plan on ever drinking in my lifetime but it was one drink for one night. My sister and one of her boyfriends friends went to get me a drink. I was glad that when they left her boyfriend and his friends didn't say anything to me but they were laughing about something. My sister and his friend came back shortly with the drink. I took a sip and sat the cup down. I wasn't really gonna drink that. My sister's boyfriend said, "Oh come on a sip. Really?" By that point I was annoyed because I didn't want to drink the shit. My sister then said, "Oh come on Lila you only live once. Let loose a bit." I was really tired of them so I just took the cup and gulped all the liquor down and it was really disgusting." I look over a Billie and I could tell she's trying to hold in laughter but she doesn't want to upset me. I tell her, "It's okay. You can laugh. I really shouldn't have drunk it down like that." She let go and she laughed hysterically. It made be smile. But then I continued, "So then they all just cheered at the fact I drunk it all one at once. Then they started whispering to each other and laughing. And no matter what situation I'm in that annoys me. Maybe 15, 20 minutes past and I started getting dizzy. My body was burning up inside and my vision was blurring. I saw her boyfriend look at me then he whispered something in my sister's ear and she said ok. I saw them get up and then she asked me would I be okay by myself and I managed to say yes but I was really focused on getting out of there. I never drank before but I know you're not supposed to feel like that after one drink. I-" I realize billie is pulling on my arm and before I ask her why I see I've pulled more hair out. She looks concerned and says, "You can stop if this is too much for you." "No! No. I'm fine. That's normal. The urge to pull my hair out will eventually go away. I need to get this out." She cautiously let go of my arm but she still looked concerned. I continued. "I got up about to go outside but the front door seemed pretty far so I went up the stairs instead. I struggled going up but I managed to make it and I found my way to a room. I decided to wait until I felt better then I was going to call my sister and tell her I was ready to go. As I made my way to the bed my head was throbbing and I was close to blacking out. I laid down on the bed but soon I was interrupted. My sister's boyfriends' friends came in and I heard one tell another to lock the door. I was squirming on the bed. I felt one of the boys come over and he pinned me down on the bed. Holding my hands over my head. I felt another hold down my legs. Then I felt it. He put himself inside of me and forcefully went up and down. I was crying I was in so much pain and I was sad. My sister left me and now they were doing this. I attempted to say stop but I couldn't really say much. My body felt so weak. I felt powerless. I started moving a lot and he said, "Be still bitch." They all laughed and talked about how my sister is a dumb whore." I paused. I was in full tears at this point. Billie told me again I could stop but I continued, "He kept going and that last thing I heard was, "She's a fucking virgin....pussy dry as a desert." More laughs. Then I blacked out. I woke up to my sister crying and I was in the car. She was the last person I wanted to see rn. I was in so much pain that when we got out I could barely walk. Of course my mom found out and our dad. I never spoke to my dad or her again. My mom was furious and after that I was depressed, pulling hair out, and...cutting myself. Scarlet was with me through those times and that's how I got over it. I will always hate my sister for that night. I realized they had drugged me and the whole night they were planning it that's why they were laughing." I look at billie and she's crying. "I never want to be pinned down or feel like I have no control." She hugs me and I cry into her arms. "I'm so sorry." she said. I held her tightly. I just forgot and got over this shit a year ago and now I'm reliving it. Me and billie lay down and cuddle. I bury my face into her arms. I guess she was saving questions for the morning. I soon fell asleep because I had a headache.

Sorry it's so long but it's worth it;)