Chapter 9

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Lila's P.O.V.

We just arrived at the hospital and I sprint into there desperately in search of my best friend. I'm screaming and crying asking people, anybody, where's scarlet. Everyone's voices are going in and out. I faintly hear the nurse tell me to calm down and if I didn't I had to leave. Others were asking me who I was talking about. I feel arms wrap around me and I think it's my mom. I have  no time to worry about who it is because my throat feels clogged and the room feels stuffed. My feelings overwhelm me and I can't breathe. I'm shaking and I realize I'm having a panic attack. If it is my mom I don't want her to see me like this. I pry my way out of her arms and I manage to say, "I'm fine...I need air." I couldn't say a whole lot because I could barely breathe. My vision starts to blur. I rush out of the hospital. Hopefully I can catch my breath because the last time billie was the one that calmed me down with a kiss. I go outside and I can faintly hear my mom calling after me. I feel like I'm about to pass out and then the cool air hits me. I am still struggling to find my breath but my vision is clearing. Then all the bad memories flood back into my mind. I stand off to the side, bent over breathing hard. My mother comes up behind me and rubs my back telling me to calm down. The way she rubbed by back was soothing and I start to catch my breath. I stand up still taking my breaths slow and long. My breathing becomes normal and I turn to my mom. "Are you okay sweetheart?" My mom asked with a worried expression. "Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks." "Why didn't you tell me about these attacks?" This is why I didn't want her to see. "I'm sorry. I just- I don't want you to worry about me. I'm fine." "Aww sweetie, no matter what you do or where you go, I will always worry about you. But you can talk to me." I really didn't wanna have this conversation right now. I just want to see scarlet. "I know I can talk to you mom, and I will. But right now I want to see scarlet." She sighed and grabbed by hand. She directed me to wait in the waiting room while she talked to the nurse. As I sat down I saw Scarlet's dad and I immediately went over to him. "Hey Mr. Ramsey. How is she? What happened?" I asked quietly but frantically. He looked up happy to see me and he greeted me with a hug. "Heyy. It's good to see you Lila. I don't know how she is because they won't tell me nothing. All I know is she went into surgery half an hour ago." he said in a deep and saddened voice. My heart ached as I realized what he said. "Surgery?" I say in nearly a whisper. "Yeah. Supposedly she was speeding on the highway and her tires slipped." Tears spilled down my face. Did she break any bones? Is that why she needs surgery? This is all my fault. If I spent more time with scarlet instead of billie we wouldn't have had that argument and she would've never got into that crash. My mom came over and I turned and cried in her arms. I felt so bad. She just held me tightly while I heard her and Scarlet's dad talking. I couldn't listen because I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

*time skip*

It was 6 in the morning  when my mom woke me up. She told me scarlet was out of surgery and she was awake. I immediately got up and followed my mom to her room. When I came in I saw her dad at her bedside crying. Then I saw her. Immediately guilt grew inside me like a rapidly growing flower. She gave me this look that I couldn't quite make out but I know one of the expressions was pure hatred. It looked like one of her legs was broken along with one of her arms. Her face had cuts and bruises all over. I wish I could die right here. Her glare was enough to make me wanna run out of the room. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even realize I was crying.  I slowly walked over to her. I didn't know if she wanted me here or not. "H-Hi scarlet. How do you feel?" I ask cautiously. "Like shit. Any other dumb questions you wanna ask?" I felt worse. "We should let you guys talk." her dad said motioning towards my mom. Noooo. The last place I wanted to be is here alone with the devil himself. I wanted to go out the room with them. My insides were heated. For a while there was an awkward silence. I finally broke the silence and said quietly, "I-I'm sorry Scar." Why the fuck was I stuttering? "Sorry for what Lila? Sorry for choosing billie over me or sorry for ruining my life?"she said in a cold tone. " Scar I-" She cut me  off. "Where is she by the way?" I was in a crying fit. She already knew I felt bad why did she have to rub it in? I couldn't say anything so she continued. "Lila I can forgive you for the first part but not for fucking up my life! I can't even walk and when I can my nerves will be fucked up. And you should feel bad because it's your fault I was speeding in the first place." Her words burned a hole in my heart. How could be that selfish when she's been with me through everything? "I'm so sorry." She stared at me in disbelief. "For fuck sakes Lila just get out!" I ran out of her room to the nearest bathroom. Luckily no one was in there and I went into one of the stalls. I brought my knees to my head chin and I just cried. I instantly felt the urge to pull more hair out and I did.     

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