I wish you were gay||Billie Eilish story

Chapter 12

Lila's P.O.V.

30 min later...

"Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. And experiencing liking girls by yourself. I should've been there." My mom said sympathetically. "Mom it's not your fault. I didn't tell you what was going on. And I'm older and so I have to start dealing with things by myself." My mom just pulled me into a tight hug. Honestly in this moment I've never realized how much I miss laying on my mom's lap while she would stroke my hair after I've had a bad day. When I was younger I was always a big baby and went to my mom for everything. I broke away from the hug. "Okay mom I have to go see Scarlet now." She nodded and I slowly got up and walked off. I cautiously walked into the room. Her dad was in there talking to her. It's good she's awake. "Um hi Mr. Ramsey. Can you give me and Scarlet a minute." He got up and I see Scarlet roll her eyes. "Yes, Of course. Just let me know when you're done." I nodded and he exited the room. Scarlet turned to face the wall. I sighed and thought about it before I spoke. "Scarlet.. I know you are mad at me and you feel like I caused your accident, but I'm your best friend and I want to be here for you like you were here for me when I was down." Scarlet faced me with fury in her eyes. "Wow did you think of that before you came in here?" she asked sarcastically. "Scar-" she cut me off. "And Lila we were bestfriends but you changed that. You picked Billie, someone you've known for like a month and a half, over me. And if that never happened we wouldn't have had that argument and I wouldn't have crashed!" There she goes again always blaming me for this shit and it's not my fault. "Ok Scarlet I'm tired of the bullshit. I'm not gonna sit here and let u make me feel bad for some shit I had no control of. I get you need to blame somebody to make you feel better about yourself but I wasn't driving the damn car, I wasn't controlling the damn car, and I didn't flip the motherfucking car. It's not my fault you were speeding. Trust me I wish things were different but it's not and I'm tired of stressing and believing it's my fault!" Honestly it felt good to get that out. When I looked at Scarlet she was crying and then she looked away. She hated feeling weak and she hated crying. I didn't feel bad for speaking my mind and I wasn't gonna take anything back. "Lila if you wanna be here for me then stay but I'm not gonna make you and that little speech is not gonna change how I feel. It's still and will always be your fault. But when I finally get out of this hellhole I don't want you to ever speak to me again." I didn't know what to say. I don't know this scarlet but I know I'm getting tired of this new version of her. I can't believe she wanted to throw all those years we've built together all away for nothing. But it's her choice so whatever she wanted I guess. I just sat in the chair in the room and it was silent for a while. "Lila?" scarlet called. I was surprised I didn't think she would say anything else. "Yes, Scar?" She looked away when she spoke. "Back at the movies when you said I wasn't happy for you, you're wrong. I am happy for you I just didn't like the fact that you've been hanging with billie for like a week and she already has her hands in your pants. I didn't think that was a good sign. And you weren't even into girls before she came." She fiddled with her fingers when she spoke. "Scarlet I know you're worried about me and you care about me and that was stupid of me to let her do that. I know I wasn't into girls I don't know but billie makes me feel some type of way and I couldn't get over her if I wanted to. I don't think I'm ready though to be official with her though." Her face became lighter and kinder. "Lila if you want to take it to the next level with her then I'm happy for you but just take it slow because when you love someone it can blind you." Love? who said anything about love? "I don't know if I'm in love with her but thanks for the advice." I give her a small smile and she just looks away. Back to the annoying ass Scarlet now. I don't know how or when but I ended up falling asleep in the chair. I woke up to see my mom putting her jacket over me. I sit up and see scarlet up on her phone. "How long have I been asleep?" "A few hours." My mom replied. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I take it out and look at it. It was billie.

Billie: Hey mamas are you ready for me to pick you up?

That was 2 hours ago. And I had also got a notification from snapchat. I replied to her.

Me: Hey bils. I'm sorry I fell asleep

Billie: It's ok. U ready?

I wanted to go with billie but I also wanted to stay with Scarlet even if she was a bitch. I was pulled from my thoughts when I hear Scarlet say, "Is that Billie?" I looked up. "Huh? Oh yes I-It's billie." She smiled a little but her voice was full of annoyance. "If you want to go with her, you can." I shook my head and told her I wanted to be with her but she insisted I go so I decided to go. 

Me: Yea I'm ready.

Billie: Ok. I can't wait;)

I smiled to myself and put on my jacket. "Mom I'm going to see Billie I'll be back." She smiled softly. "Okay sweetheart. Be careful." I walked out and stood at the entrance waiting for Billie. She pulled up like 20 minutes later. I smiled as I got into the car. "Hey mamas." she said smirking. "Hi Ms.Eilish. What do you wanna do?" "A lot of things but first lets get Ice cream and then I wanna show you my "happy" place. I guess you could call it that." I nodded and she drove off. A few minutes later we pulled up to this ice cream parlor and we went in. "What do you want?" Billie asked me sweetly. "Um.. a double scoop of vanilla in a waffle cone bowl." She turns back to the cashier. "I'll take that and some Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough." The woman nodded and Billie paid for the ice cream. About five minutes later we get our ice cream and I start to walk off trying to find seats. "What are you doing?" I heard billie ask and I realize she isn't following me. "Finding seats." "Oh no. We're not staying. I'm gonna take you somewhere." I look at her curiously. "The place I was telling you about earlier? Remember?" "Yes I do but where is that?" She smiled slyly. "You'll see now come on dork." I chuckled and proceeded to follow her. 

--------Time skip---------

We finally arrived at this place billie wanted to show me and it's beautiful. I finished my ice cream like 10 minutes ago. Billie would watch me from time to time when she could. It was a little weird but cute. I got out of the car. "Wow this is amazing." I say not realizing I said it out loud. "You like it?" "No." I say and she starts looking sad. "I love it." She smiles instantly and grabs my hand. "Come on I want to show you something." She brings me to this area on the beach and there is a blanket laying on the sand with some of our favorite snacks and some subs. I smile to myself. "What's all this?" "This is for you. I hope you like it." she smiles sweetly and I take her hands in mine. "Thank you. I love it. You didn't have to do this." "Yea I know. But I wanted to." She pulls me in and our lips collide. It starts getting heated before she pulls away. We sit down and she immediately grabs the bag of takis. I laugh. "What? You think I wasn't about to get some takis?" I just shake my head and open a bag of the flamin hot kettle cooked lays she got me. I love those chips. We eat for a while in silence. It was a nice silence. Peaceful even. "Hey lila?" "Yea." She takes her time before she speaks again. "I didn't want to ask you about it at first but do you feel comfortable with what you wear after what happened?" I knew she had more questions. "Yea. I mean I pick most of my clothes out because my mom thinks if I look nice or if I like what I'm wearing, It'll build my confidence back up. She was right. And even though a lot of people may think me being raped have to do with what I wear, I believe it has nothing at all to do with that. And if it did, why should I have to hide myself or feel uncomfortable to make somebody else comfortable?" She just nodded. "Yea I know. I never really show people what's underneath because they always have negative things to say. People always ask why I wear baggy clothes and it's because I'm comfortable and why would I change that to please someone else." There was silence and then I see a smirk grow on Billie's face. Before I know it she takes off her shoes, sweater, and pants. She has a tank top and shorts underneath. "What are you doing?" I ask confused. She looks at me and smiles. Then she runs toward the water and jump in. Oh my god what is wrong with her. I walk over to the water and she says, "Come in. The water feels nice." I laugh. "You are crazy Ms. Eilish. I don't have anything underneath and I'm not getting my clothes wet." She looks at me with wild eyes. I didn't even realize how close billie was getting to shore. And before I know it she pulls me in. I scream. "Billie I am going to kill you." She laughs hysterically. "It's just a little water." I just shook my head and laughed with her. My jeans being wet annoyed me. "What's wrong?" she asks noticing. "These jeans are irritating now that they're wet." "I'm sorry. here let me help." She pulled me to her and took off my pants and threw them back on shore. My shoes were already off but I still had on my socks and shirt and bra and panties. I decided to take off my shirt and I threw it on shore. When I turned back billie was staring at me. "What creep?" I ask smirking. She smiles and pulls me in closer roughly kissing me. I wasn't sure but I think I was in love with this girl.