I wish you were gay||Billie Eilish story

Chapter 15

Billie's P.O.V.

I got out the car slamming the door and went into the house slamming that door also. Finneas looked back at me and said, "What's wrong?" I don't even look at him and say, "I'm an idiot." I run upstairs not letting him say anything else. I went into my room and slammed the door. I threw my keys on the dresser and flopped on my bed. I mean she has a right to be upset but I'm not her girlfriend so it doesn't really matter. I really don't understand why it's so hard for me to tell her about Laila. She was nothing to me but someone I fucked when I was upset or bored. I scroll through instagram to get my mind off of Lila. I liked a few pictures of some friends and some random posts. That's when I came across a post from Scarlet. It said something on the lines of 'Getting out this hellhole earlier than I expected' with a smiling face and the middle finger emoji. I wonder how she's gonna act with lila or if she'll even go see her. I throw my phone down and Finneas comes into my room. "Wanna talk about about it?" I shake my head and pat the bed next to me. He comes and sit next to me and I lay my head on his shoulder. We stay like this for a while. I fiddle with my rings then lift my head up. "I messed around with someone else and now Lila won't talk to me unless I tell her what happened." He sighs and says, "Why don't you tell her?" "I don't know. But it hasn't been that long and the distance is killing me." He rubs my back reassuringly and it calms me.  "Well I think you should talk to her." he says. "Yea. Maybe I'll go over there later but not now." He nods then gets up and leave. I laid down and close my eyes not knowing what else to do but sleep. 

Lila's P.O.V.

I woke up from my nap and I could barely open my eyes. I sat up and my head feel like it weighed a ton. I hate crying. I get up and go to the bathroom. I went in and turn the water on in the tub. I think I'm gonna take a bath. I still felt drained and it was starting to annoy me. I turned to leave but stopped when I see my reflection. It looks like I haven't slept in years and the bags under my eyes are huge. It's crazy what a few hours, crying, and sleep can do to someone. I hate this version of myself. The lucky, broken girl. But no one knows that or care enough to know how I am on the inside. I'm the girl who can smile and laugh and make everyone think I'm fine, but in reality I'm not. I go in the medicine cabinet to find some eye drops like that would do anything. Instead I'm met by a pill bottle with my name on it. I forgot all about those. I didn't even know I still had them. They were antidepressants that I used to take when my depression was very severe. They helped but they made me feel drowsy and sometimes drugged out. I stopped taking them when I felt like I no longer needed them. I think about putting them back but before I know it, I'm popping two of them in my mouth and swallow. I go back in my room and pick up my phone. I see a notification from instagram and I open it. Turns out Scarlet is getting out today. I roll my eyes and throw my phone on the bed. I start feeling hungry so I go down to the kitchen to find something to eat. I get a cup of those little kraft's macaroni things. I put some water in it and warm it up. I get a Kripsy Kreme honey bun and some xxtra hot hot flamins. I also get a watermelon arizona out of the fridge. 

--Time skip---

I get back upstairs with my stuff and I start feeling drowsy and anxious. The pills must be kicking in. I put the food on the bed and go into the bathroom and turn the water off. I go back into my room and take my clothes off. I didn't get in the bath though. Instead I put on Billie's shirt and stand there. My room is at the top of the building and my room window looks out onto the roof. I walk over to the window. 

Billie's P.O.V.

I'm about to head over to Lila's house but I decided to call Scarlet first. (Billie-regular font, Scarlet-bold)

What do you want?

Sorry I was just wandering have you talked to Lila because she wasn't answering her phone and I need to talk to her.

No but I was gonna go over there because I wanted to tell her something.

Well we could go together.

No thanks. Not in the same car but I'll see you there.

O- 

She already hung up. Rude ass. I put my car in drive and make my way to Lila's house.

---Time skip---

I pull up to her house and a car pulls behind me and Scarlet gets out the back of it. I get out and I say hey but she just rolls her eyes and continue walking to the door. She has crutches so it takes a little longer. I'm about to Knock but she stops me. "No need to knock sweetheart I have a key." she says it like I'm supposed to be mad or something. I roll my eyes while she struggles to open the door. "Need help?"I ask politely. "No I got it." It takes her a little longer but she eventually gets the door open. We walk in and scarlet waits in the living room since she can't go up the stairs. I go up and into Lila's room but I don't see her. It's cold and I look over at her window that's open. "Lila?" I say walking in the way of the window. There she is just staring at the ground below her. "Lila?!" I call out again and she turns around. She's standing there in my shirt I gave her.

Lila's P.O.V.

I turn around and see billie standing there her eyes watering. "Are you ready to talk?" I ask then focus back on the ground beneath me. I was pretty close to the edge. "Lila can you just step away from the edge?" billie asks behind me. "Why? I'm not gonna jump. What if I did though? It wouldn't matter. No one likes me anyway." "Lila listen to me ." I hear her footsteps and I start moving forward.  "Lila wait. Stop walking. I love you." I hear her say. Her voice breaking. I turn around. "If you love me you wouldn't have did what you did and you would've been honest." Tears spill down her face and she says, "I do love you Lila and what I did was a mistake. If you come in we can talk about it." I want to believe her and I want to feel something but because of the pills I feel numb. I think it's just inside of my head though because the more I think about it, the more my legs feel weak. I start walking forward and billie starts coming towards me. All of a sudden I can't feel my legs anymore and I feel myself start to fall. I instantly feel scared because I'm still close to the edge. I close my eyes and let myself fall but then I feel someone grab me and I open my eyes. Luckily billie caught me and I grab her and cry onto her shoulder. 

---Time skip----

 Once we are inside and Billie calms me down she tells me about her and Laila. But all I can think about is what billie told me. I look at her. "Billie did you mean that?" she looks at me confused but then realizes what I'm talking about. "Yes. Every word." she says then smiles. She opens her arms and I lay down on her. It was nice until Billie told me scarlet was downstairs. I go downstairs and prepare myself for the devil himself. "What happened up there?" she asks concerned. I shake my head. "What do you want?"I ask coldly than I expected. "Good to see you too."she says sarcastically. "I'm sorry Lila." I am already annoyed. "You know what can we talk tomorrow? I don't feel well." I say folding my arms. She sighs and says, "Fine. Um I'll call you." With that she walks out. I turn back to billie. I grab her hands and smile lightly. She smiles back back and I lean in and kiss her. "Thanks for saving me." I say when I pull back. "Of course. Anytime. But please don't do that again." I nod and smile sadly. "I'm sorry." "It's ok." "Hey billie?" "Yes?" "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" she smiles widely and looks into my eyes. "Of course." With that she kisses me deeply.

Sorry for ending it like that. The story was turning to shit anyway. 

I will be writing another story tomorrow called More than I expected and I promise it'll be a 100 times better than this.

Byee.