I wish you were gay||Billie Eilish story

Chapter 8

Lila's P.O.V.

It was 6:30 and I was in bed watching tv. I got a text from billie.

Billie: Hey babes:p

Me: Hey bils. Wssp?

Billie: Nothing. I just missed you.

Me: Yea me too. 

Billie: I could come over if you want me to;)

Me: Sure but you don't have to.

Billie: I want to. I'm omw.

Honestly, I don't want billie to get the wrong idea but we're just friends. I know what me and billie did the other night happened but to me it wasn't a big deal. I might've had feelings for billie but I'm not ready to be cuffed by anybody. Not after what happened. Even though it doesn't seem like it, I'm pretty self- conscious. I took off my night gown and put on this black crop top and sweats. It was almost time for me to go to bed so my hair was down. I heard my mom call to me and tell me billie was here. "Ok. You can tell her to come up!" I yell back. I thought about telling billie I just wanted to be friends but when she came into my room she looked so happy to see me I couldn't ruin the mood. "Hey babes." she said as she hugged me. If I didn't know any better she squeezed my ass. And again with that babe word. It just made me feel worse inside. "Hey bils." We released and she sat on the bed next to me. She sat for a second staring at me. "Whatt." I smiled lightly lowkey feeling  insecure. She laughed. "You should wear your hair like that more often. Fuck I was blushing. I had to change the subject. "So what do you wanna do?" I saw her eyes go wild and immediately regretted asking her that. "...Or talk about." She laughed because she knew why I added that last part. "Well I like what do I wanna do better." Oh shit here we go. Billie leaned in and kissed me. I let her tongue enter my mouth and our tongues moved in sync. It got pretty heated and Billie got on top of me and harshly kissed and sucked on my neck. I almost let loose but I had to remember where I was. "umm... Billie.... sorry to ruin this but my mom is still downstairs." I say in between little moans. She came up and whispered in my ear. "It's ok. If you be quiet I'll make you feel good." As she says this she snakes her hand in my pants. I swear I was so turned on I almost let her have it but I'm not disrespectful. I push her off of me. "Ok billie seriously we can't do this in my mom's house." She groaned. "ughh. Okay fine." I'm kind of upset myself because my stupid ass got turned on and now I'm not getting none. "So what do you wanna talk about." I asked her. "Well I have this one thing I want to clear up." "Okay?" She thought about it before she asked. "I know we've only been at this stage for not even two days but what are we?" WOW. Just the question I dreaded knowing she's gonna be mad at me. "Well.... I want us to be friends" I could see the hurt and confusion on her face. I looked down. "Friends?" "Well yea. I mean-" she cut me off. "I just thought we'd be more. I mean I don't think friends fuck each other. So what are we? fuck buddies?" I was starting to get irritated. "Billie first of all that was one time. And second I didn't think it was a big deal. we were just caught in the moment." Her hurt expression turned into pure anger. "So why would you lead me on if you didn't want this to go further." "Billie I like what we have. I didn't think we needed to be anything more. And keep your voice down." She talked quieter but she was still angry. "So we should be fuck buddies am I right? And you should let me decide for myself what's a big deal and what's not." I didn't know a way around it so I just been honest with her. "Billie I'm not ready for a relationship!" I practically scream. She didn't know what to say so I continued. "I'm self-conscious and I'm not comfortable being commited to somebody yet. Being with you makes me feel slightly more comfortable but I'm not over what happened. I really like you Billie but this is new to me and I don't think I'm ready. I'm not pushing you away or I don't want this to end but I just need space to think." I looked into her eyes when I said the last sentence. She stood there for a second. She then nodded her head and left. She was still clearly angry. "Billie wait-" By the time I made it downstairs she stormed out the door past my mom. "Hey sweetheart. What happened? You okay?" I stood there while my feelings overwhelmed me. "I'm fine. I just need everyone to leave me alone." I ran upstairs to my room and ignored my mom when she called after me. I screamed into my pillow and the more I thought about what happened the more angry and frustrated I got and I started to pull hair out. 

Billie's P.O.V.

I couldn't even deal with Lila right now. I know she's been through a lot but I couldn't believe that to her we were just friends and she didn't even care how I felt about it. I stormed out of her house and before I got in the car I looked up at her window. I saw her storm into her room and I guess lie on her bed because I didn't see her after that. I got in my car and drove off. I needed a distraction so I made a call. I was irritated because I don't do relationships either but I try to make an effort. I arrived at Laila's house. She was this girl that I met and we're kind of like fuck buddies but I cut her off when I thought me and Lila were gonna get serious. I guess I was wrong. A part of me felt bad for doing this but the other part of me didn't care. Laila was waiting at the door smiling. I immediately connected our lips and she pulled me in and said, "I knew you'd be back. You can't get enough." I smiled lightly. That's not at all the reason I came. I only came because she's easy to fuck and I need a distraction. She closed the door behind us. This is why I don't do relationships.

Lila's P.O.V.

I cried myself to sleep. I woke up at like 8 in the morning. I took a shower and put on some leggings and this off the shoulder crop top. I was still pretty heated about last night but I went downstairs. My mom was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. "Hi honey. Are you okay." I felt bad for how I acted towards her last night. "I'm okay. I'm just-" I couldn't hold it in. All my feelings overwhelmed me again and I began to cry. "Oh honey." My mom came over to me and I cried in her arms. I hugged her tightly. Did I lose billie just like I lost scarlet? I was so tired of the arguing and bickering with friends. My moms phone rang and she let me go slowly. "Hello?" After about 2 minutes by mom hung up and she had a concerned expression on her face. "Mom what's wrong?" She just told me to go put on some shoes and get my stuff and meet her in the car. I was so confused what's going on? I did as I was asked and went to the car. I got into the car and my mom looked even worried. "Mom what is going on?" She sighed before she told me. "Lila, scarlet had an accident." My whole world shattered. "Accident? What do you mean accident?" I asked as tears start forming in my eyes. "She was in a crash last night. She's in the hospital right now." She looked like she regretted telling me that. "Whatt?" She pulled off and didn't say anything else. Scarlet crashed? I felt worse because I think it's my fault. She left right after we had that argument. I started crying. Why the fuck was my life so messed up? Why did I have to be thirsty and choose billie over my best friend. I felt so sick. This was too much.

*sorry for the late update. Hope it was worth it*