You got up from the alarm going off . You only had 3 hours of sleep last night so you kinda looked like a panda at that time.
Your pov:"Wow what a good night that was.
I hope no one asks about me because I look terrible right now."You opened your wardrobe to get your neatly hanged uniform out of it. You put your skirt on and realised the window was open from last night.
You:"gosh I better close that, don't want any flies coming in"
You put your Shirt and tie on when, Your Crush Shinso texts you. You walk over to your phone to read
Shinso: "hey Y/N do you mind if I come over to your dorm before school starts?"
You"no not at all"
Shinso puts a smiley face and goes offline. You quickly do your hair and put concealer on to take away the dark circles under your eyes.
You:"At least he won't know about my sleeping problems"
Suddenly, there's a knock on your dorm door. You know who it was so you opened it. Shinso said
Shinso"hey Y/N, did you sleep well last night?"
You: "a wapping 8 hours of sleep....."(lied)
He smiled with a pleased look on his face.
Shinso walked over to the desk where I have all my artwork that I do in my a
Spare time. He raised his eyebrows, looked at me and looked back. I gave him the "they aren't that good look" and he was confused to why I was saying that.Shinso: "Wow Y/N I never knew you could draw like this"
You: "They aren't that good but thanks. I only really do them in my spare time"
Shinso: "What are you talking about Y/N? These pictures are better than any I've seen"
You: "You really think so shinso?"
Shinso: "I don't just think so I know so"
As he was saying that, you felt tears of happiness in your eyes. You kept them in but he knew you were about to cry. As much as he wanted to ask you what happened, he just knew you needed some alone time.
Shinso: "I just remembered. I left my phone at my dorm so I guess I'll meet you at class?"
You nodded whilst holding the tears back. Once shinso left, you ran to your bed and cried in the pillow. You needed someone to make you happy because you felt so alone and depressed all the time.
Thinking: "he probably didn't mean any of that and he is probably just saying that to make me feel better. It just shows that I'm alone".
Shinso started to get worried about you because he saw that your eyes were becoming dull. It's not just that tho it's the fact that you have been late for class everyday and you haven't been eating at the cafeteria. You always say to him "Im not hungry I ate a big breakfast" but every time you said that you gave a smile that almost seemed forced.
You didn't go to class the next day because your sleep patterns have become worse. You started feeling nausiated because of the loss of appetite. You also have been Cutting yourself very deeply. It got to the point where it didn't hurt and you only felt the satisfaction off the blood.
The next day, it was Tuesday so you decided to go to town. You had 20 dollars from your big brother back in London. He was very busy and distant from you but every time you met its almost like you never went apart.Through the town, you saw a man selling Vapes and Cigarettes. You then thought it would be a good idea if you got both to relive you from the pain you felt inside. Even for just a little while. You walked up to the man and he saw you.
You: "hey there, um how much are they for both?"
Man: "100¥ are you interested?"
You: "Yeah ill take a pack of both please."
He passes you them as you give him 96 cents. You have a toke of the vape and 5 minutes after, you feel like a whole other person. You finally felt free from the pain for a while. You went back to the dorm and when you got back, it was 6pm. Todoroki, Bakugo and shinso were all looking for you so you hid all the nicotine in your pockets. They found you and took you to your dorm.
Todoroki : "Where have you been Y/N?"
Bakugo : "WE WERE ALL FUCKING WORRIED YOU IDIOT!"
Todoroki : "Bakugo let them explain"
Bakugo : " Tch Fine sorry Y/N"
Shinso: "so where have you been Y/N"
You look away. You had sadness in your eyes from Katsuki shouting at you. Shinso knew that Bakugo had something to do with your sadness in your eyes at that moment. He got the other two and left your room. You sat on your bean bag feeling weak in your body and starting taking more tokes of your vape. You knew everything you were doing was bad but you enjoyed it so you didn't stop. You hadn't slept in 3 days so you passed out on the bean bag. You made sure the nicotine was out of sight for the others.
You had a dream about your parents death and your past bullies. Then you got a flashback of your hanging sister because she got severe bullied. You woke up crying out loud so that Mina and Uraraka could hear you. They ran to your room and asked see if I was okay.
Mina: "Y/N are you okay? What happened?"
You started freaking out so mina said
Mina: " Ochaco go and get shinso or Aizawa"
Ochaco: "on it!"
You couldn't Breath and your heart was pumping faster than ever. Mina tried to calm you down but you couldn't calm down. Ochaco and shinso entered Your dorm room. He ran to you.Shinso : "sh sh shhhh. Hey Y/N it's okay I'm here, you don't have anything to worry about."
Shinso pulls you close and holds your hand, rubbing the top of it. You calm down and cry into his shoulder. Once you were asleep, he put you into bed and walked to his room to complete some homework. He thought about what made that happen to you all night and struggled to sleep cause of it.
The next Morning at 5am, you started to vape and you felt a little dizzy from no food and a nicotine rush. Shinso came to you to ask you what happened.
Shinso: "Hey Y/N..........
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
(1124 words in total)
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Why Did You Let Go!?
FanfictionThis is a fem reader x Hitoshi Shinso fan fiction. Please enjoy and if you suffer with anything like this in the story then please talk to someone you trust. Tw⚠️ self-harming, smoking and vaping, suicide attempts, suicide notes, mentions of rape an...