Random Bits of My Brain

Loneliness

"Lisa don't!" I cried, pulling on the distressed blond's arm, 

"Let go of me, Mark!" Lisa screamed, tugging backwards, toward the edge of the 200 ft high cliff. "This is what I want! It's MY choice!" 

Straining against the surpisingly strong waif of a girl, I breathe through my nose in annoyance before attempting to dig my heel into the rocky ground, only to slip on the tiny rocks, 

"Lisa!" I screamed as she started to fall over the edge. 

12 minutes 42 seconds later...

"I just want to be happy," Lisa began. "But now, I'm anything but. I'm elated sometimes, excited sometimes, and I'm always smiling, but on the inside, I'm just empty."

As she spoke, Lisa started shaking slightly and her legs wobbled. As we were sitting with our legs over the edge of a cliff, Lisa pulled her legs to her chest and just hugged them. 

"I never thought I was depressed because there were moments when I really thought I was happy. I had the fluttering feeling in my stomach and I couldn't stop smiling, but a part of me was always thinking that it was gonna be over soon. I never have anyone to just turn to and talk to. All I needed was someone to hug me, say it was okay, and just comfort me. I tried telling Melissa, but she said that everyone went through this "phase"."

At phase, Lisa made quotation mark shapes with her fingers. Giving a dry laugh, Lisa laid back on the rocky edge. "I've never told anyone before, but I'm always so lonely. I feel like it's going to eat me alive, like if I turn a corner, Loneliness with just grab me and shove me into a dark closet where I'm scrambling for foothold. 

I never thought I'd see the day that the most strong girl in the world would break down. Even as a kid, when she fell out of a tree and sprain her ankle, she just made a joke about getting out of ballet. When her parents divorced, she was the one telling Melissa that life was just saving the good moments for later, even though she was the younger one. Now that I think about it, I've never saw anyone that Lisa leaned on, not one friend that she'd be her real self around. And that information broke my heart. 

"Mark?" Lisa asked, "how'd you know where I was?"

Turning towards my childhood best friend, I looked into her confused grey eyes and said, "I've always wanted to be a detective." 

Cracking a smile, Lisa leaned her head back and laughed. "True dat."

With that, Lisa leaned her head on my shoulder, and we watched the sun set.