Random Bits of My Brain

Like A Badass

I liked to retain my reputation as a badass in everything.

Laundry? Think something more like awesome dance routine.

Homework? Think of it as a game of life and death.

Crying? In da rain!

Finding out your boyfriend is cheating on you? HANDLE IT LIKE A BADASS!

As I walked into the apartment and locked the door, I heard faint grunting noises. Following my hear and hoping that it wasn't what I thought it was, I opened Mark's door.

Sometimes I hate being right.

"Oh hey slut, asshole,"I greeted, a sarcastic smile on my face. "Has he told you he has chlamydia yet?" 

The blonde that was underneath my boyfriend paled and pulled the sheets up. Her movement jerked Mark into action. 

"Sam, it isn't what it seems. I jus-" Mark said, walking towards me to be cut off by my hand. 

"Safe it, idiot," I reply. I ignored the throb in my heart and continued. "I expect your stuff to be out in half an hour. Or else, I'll handle it."

With that, I stalked out of the room. Behind me, I heard Mark muttering some incoherant curses and the shuffling of silk and denim. Suddenly, I was jerked to a stop. "Please, Sam. Listen to me!"

Turning around slowly, I glanced at the hand on my arm, then at his face. "I'd advice you to let go of me before I kick where it hurts and prevent you from ever having children. Oh wait. That'd be helping. Here." With that, I delivered a swift kick inbetween his legs, watched him keel over, then leaned down and whispered,"f*ck. Off."

Leaving him hunched over his family jewels, I stormed down the hall and called Jason. "Jace, I need a favor..."

Jason's P.O.V

I've known Sam since first grade, when she decided that I was standing a little too close during our field trip to downtown Boston and pushed me into Charles River. 

Needless to say, we didn't get off on the right foot. 

But then, to compensate, when she found out some kids were stealing my lunch money and gave them wedgies and ants in their lunch boxes, we becamse close friends. Although we were close back then, we kinda lost touch during middle school due to her moving across the country and found eachother again on FaceBook. 

So imagine my surprise when out of the blue, my longtime penpal calls me up to ask if she can stay over for a while.

Not only am I 720 miles away, but last I heard, she had a boyfriend. 

The Sam I know never cires, feels hurt, or asks for favors, 

Although we aren't as close as before, I will make sure to get revenge for her.