Random Bits of My Brain

Outcasts

A/N: I'm completely aware that there is a story on wattpad called Outcasts by ThE_dReAmEr_10 which I suggest you check out, but this is not related to it whatsoever, although it did inspired this random tidbit a bit so ENJOY OR ELSE!

I watch her sometimes. Not in a creepy stalker way, just the way a scientist would observe the newest species of amiba. 

She was popular. Tiffany would often hook arms with her, whisper some gossip in her ear, and wait like an excited puppy for a reaction. And Erin would always respond with something witty or dirty, causing Tiffany to gasp in a way that made her baby-blue eyes look like perfect marbles or throw her perfectly curled ponytail back in a tingling laughter. 

She was a protecter. She would stalk up to a huge jock, a bully, and say something in his ear that makes him drop the poor freshman. Then, she would help that freshman up and offer a kind smile and a handshake, a way to seal their friendship. 

She was a helper. Whenever Jordyn broke her ankle during gymnastics, she'd be ready with a smile and a helping hand. After leading Jordyn to her classroom, she'd make sure someone helped her to her next hour. Then, she'd ask the teacher for a late pass, which they always happily supplied. 

She understands. As Maria sits on the toilet crying about how messed up her life is, about how no one will ever love her because of various scars along her arms, Erin would sit next to her, crawling under the stall door if neccesary, and pat her back, telling her that she doesn't need to cut, that things will get better. She never says that depression is a phase, she just comforts. She also doesn't tell her to stop cutting, she just says she doesn't have to. 

She is a nerd. She spends her weekends at home studying, party not being part of her vocabulary. She has a 4.0 GPA and has many AP classes. She excels in violin and is the co-captain of the math team. She wears glasses, bland clothing, and a plain, straight ponytail. Teachers love her and she has straight A's. 

Everyone knew Erin McSona as perfection. 

However, she's broken.

You see it in the slight frown on her face when she's alone, walking through the halls or at her locker, shoving books aside a bit to reach her binder. 

You see it in her eyes, the anger. When she sees a bully, the look of someone who understand how it is to be on the receiving end, to feel that worthlessenss. 

You see it in her stance, the slouch. The way her shoulders are always slightly hunched forward, protecting her frame from everyone else and broadcasting an invisible "back-off" sign. 

You see it when she's surrounded by people. The way she doesn't speak much, the way her head is slightly tilted back, the constant mild smile that says,"I'm listening". 

You see it in her.

No one knew that Erin McSona is a loner. 

But I'm just extra observant.

***********************************

"Erin!" I called, jogging a bit to catch up to the long-legged brunette. 

A surprised smile came across Erin's face before she smoothed it out and with a cheery smie asked, "did you need help with the homework or something?"

Seeing as we were completely different people, her being known as a helper and me known as a bit of a delinquint, I didn't take offense. Instead, I replied with a smile of my own and swung an arm around her shoulders. 

"Nah, already finished it," I replied, taking in the quirked eyebrow and disbelief. 

"MHmm," she relented, glancing at the arm around her shoulders before shrugging it off. "So what's up?"

Checking the clock and seeing that I had 3 minutes to meet Chase for school ditching, I answered quickly. "Listen, I know you're not happy." As she frowned and opened her mouth to protest, I held a hand up. "No, don't give me that crap, I know how you feel and I just want to help."

Erin tilted her head up slightly, anger slowly creeping into her pale blue-green eyes. "I don't need help, Mina. I can take care of myself."

Sensing that she was seconds from strutting away and continuing that horrible charade I held up before I found my group, I grabbed her arm and said, "yes I know you can take care of yourself but please just give me a chance. Sit with us during lunch today, please."

Contemplating that, Erin pursed her lips, checked the clock, and quickly nodded, her ponytail flicking with her motion. "Fine just let me go, I'm gonna be late." 

Checking to make sure she wasn't lying, I nodded to myself and waved before heading to the school doors. 

*****************************************

"Hey," Chase said, puffing out smoke, through his mouth. 

I took in my best friend's appearance, his dyed-black hair and brilliant green eyes. He is one of the most attractive boys in our grade, but I knew that this addiction was going to ruin his muscled body and healthy lungs. So I took a deep breath and made a decision that would most probably change my life and hopefully, his.

"Chase?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he replied with a mildly bored look in his emerald eyes.

"Do you care about me?"

Turning to me, his eyebrows drew together in a look of incredulousness. "Of course."

Moving on, I said, "so you'll want me to live as long as possible, si?"

Of course, he nodded, rolling his eyes. "Duh why would you even as--"

Before he finished, I grabbed the cigarette from his long, thin fingers and slid it inbetween my lips, taking a deep breath. Holding it for a few seconds, I turned to Chase, and resisting the urge to gag, slowly blew it out. 

After a moment of shocked silence on his part, I said with a smirk, "you're paying my hospital bills when I get lung cancer." 

Snatching the cigarette back, Chase stamped it out before turning to me with a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes. Grabbing my the shoulders, he half screamed, "what in the hell are you fucking doing?! You know how addictive it can be and you still did it, even after your grandfather! Why?"

Staring him straight in the eyes, I tilted my chin up in defiance and said, "you never listen to me when I ask you to quit, so now, I'm going to play dirty. Everytime you smoke, I smoke with you. So, in fifty years, when we have lung cancer, you're paying for me."

Just studying me with a frown, Chase eventually relented and pulled me in for a hug, "You're an idiot, you know."

Shrugging whilst patting his back, I said, "I know. And that's why you love me."

Chuckling into my hair, Chase shook his head. "Mina Stephanie Donald. You're one of a kind."