pretty privilege

V - the first stargaze

2020.05.04

Karl asked me to hang out with him after filming. I of course agreed and we planned to go to McDonalds because we were both really hungry. Karl took his car and we drove there. We were listening to Heat Waves, Karl was singing his heart out while I was laughing, he made me blush really hard, gosh he's so pretty...

"y/n sing with me!"
"No I don't want to"
"Come on!"
"No, no"
"Well okay"

We arrived shortly, ordered our food and sat down.

"Today was really fun"
"Yeah, especially for you"
"Well I did get a house"

We laughed. I didn't talk a lot, but he did, he told me about his brother and about himself a lot.

"And yeah, my life is pretty swag, what about you? You barely talk to me about anything"
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I've had a reallly traumatic past, my mom was an alcoholic and my dad left me at a very young age"
"Oh I'm really sorry, y/n"
"It's okay"
"Tell me more"
"Well I've been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety for some reason"
"Can we not start this now?"
"Start what?"
"The sad topic"
"Oh sure, I'm sorry"
"Don't be!"

He took my hand and looked into my eyes.

"Don't be sorry about everything, it's not your fault"
"How do you know it's not?"
"I know, I know it in my heart y/n"

We ate our food and left, it was already dark.

"Do you want to go stargazing?"
"What?"
"Stargazing, I know the perfect spot"

He drove me to this hill place, there wasn't very much people.

"Come!"

He grabbed my hand. He flopped onto the grass and pulled me next to him. The ground was really cold, but his energy heated me up.

"Look at the stars y/n"
"They're beautiful"
"Just like you"

He giggled.

"Like what?"
"Nothing, forget about it"

His smile turned into a regretting face.

"Did I do something wrong?"
"What no, you didn't!"

The sky was so pretty, just like Karl, those shinning stars, his shinning teeth when he smiles, he so perfect, but I'm never going to be enough for him...