Sid : the Devil's secretary

2. The Devil wears nada

2. The Devil wears nada

Hell Citadel: 2011

It had been one year since the final battle on Blood Moon Day between the forces of Heaven, Hell, Purgatoria and the Mortal world. The balance of power had been changed radically, with universal power now vested in two kings of eternity. The ruler of Heaven was the hero of the hour, Dan, who had ultimately saved the universe from the likes of Elodie and Alois Kelmer. He had come into a recent partnership with Lucifer, son of Satan and heir to the throne of Hell. not long after the final battle, Satan had bequeathed the demon crown to his son in favor of a pleasant retirement with his forever woman Beatrice. 

Lucifer was now the king of Hell, a red hot cesspool surrounded by a sea of lava amid a sprawling metropolis. The original looming edifice of the Hell Citadel had to be demolished and reconstructed after heavy fire damage. It had been almost entirely rebuilt to the tiniest whim, from the overarching observation offices to the original checkerboard tiling salvaged from the Satan administration. Lucifer also introduced himself on the scene as a modern ruler, destined to manage the realm with the same diligence as his father before him but with an added flare that only Lucifer possessed. This included a major reshuffle and reformation of the government in Hell. 

The Dark Council was officially disavowed and demonized (pun intended) as traitorous terrorists, to be replaced with a more representative form of governance. Within a year, Hell had witnessed its first democratic elections for members of the new Congress of Fire. To prevent an armed insurrection against his fledging authority, Lucifer appointed senior warlords and gangsters to his royal cabinet. Lucifer had already made an independent name for himself as king by raising minimum wage, shrinking the gender pay gap, standardizing the black market, and promoting good diplomatic with the other realms. However, there was still something missing from Lucifer's clique, something to entertain him and handle the nitty gritty part of being a leader. 

For the last three days, he had been holding interviews amongst hopeful demons and penniless wretches to pick his own assistant. Each time, the hallways outside the royal office were shuffled through by the disgruntled and mildly miffed. Judging from those who entered and those who left, Lucifer was not looking for muscle or weapons. Per the norm, the Devil had a very specific taste. 

Across town in the district of Opus, inside the duck egg walls of St Pious Hospital, the residential psychiatrist, Dr Saul, was tending to his patient. Saul's office was dainty and compact, with a long brown lounging chair on one side and a navy blue desk on the other, watching over the hospital courtyard of its inner sanctum. The doctor was a calm and collective man, lean, skinny, and experienced. He wore a brown sweater over a red shirt and brown bottoms. He usually carried a clipboard on his person to record their thoughts of his patients and ascribe advice to them. The rotary ceiling fan whirred repeatedly around in near silence as the patient continued to talk.

"I just keep seeing these things, doc" the body of Sid twiddled his hands around while resting on the lounger. For murdering his superiors, Sid got a one way express ticket to Hell, and for nearly sixty years had been leading a moderate lifestyle as a jack of all trades in a city were nothing comes for free.

"and what might they be?" Dr Saul looked to his clipboard with his legs crossed to take notes.

"fire, people with guns, bright lights" Sid closed his eyes and imagined. He appeared different as he had in his past life. His white shirt and black bottoms now were pockmarked with several bullet holes and the occasional rip. His eyes had been fully obscured by two large glass ovals that made up his new glasses, but he did manage to keep his signature bowtie. On his neck were several long lines of red that circumvented to the back of his head from the dark bullet hole left under his chin.

"have you seen these things before?" Dr Saul looked up to his patient.

"as a matter of fact, yes" Sid turned over to the shrink.

"it seems as though you are describing scenes of war. Were you in any war?" Dr Saul continued.

"I was. On Blood Moon Day. I know it's past now, but it's still fresh in my mind, you know?" Sid turned back over on the lounger, looking up at the whitewashed ceiling.

"interesting. I believe you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder from your ordeal" the doctor pinpricked his papers with his pencil.

"so, what gives?. Is there something I can take for it?" Sid leaned up and sat erect on the lounger, then slouched over and took out a small silver hip flask from his pocket to take a swig of cider. He had taken up drink to numb the pain of his memories from the last year. Still fresh were the horrors of the final battle, the bodies all around him, and around them fire and the stench of complete and utter ruin. Sid had might as well have fought the Germans or the Japanese when he was alive. He was one of the lucky survivors to emerge from the rubble of the Tower of Babel's destruction, thankful that he was still alive as the blood moon eclipse ended and the prophecy had been fulfilled.

"you can put that away" Dr Saul saw the flask.

"well then, what do you think?" Sid returned the flask to his pocket.

"I cannot solve these problems for you. this stress is in your own mind, meaning you must find a way to rid yourself of this stress. You seem to be lingering on past emotions, and attachments like these prove to be quite draining on the soul. Why did you fight?" Dr Saul elaborated.

"it just seemed like the right thing to do at that time. Besides, there wasn't anything better to do, so I thought what the hell?" Sid rambled on.

"does your backstory feature a lot of these crappy puns?" the doctor quipped

"I swear to god that one was the last" Sid smiled gullably.

"good. I was almost on the verge of playing tic tac toe on my board here" Saul said.

"shit!" Sid looked to a ringing pocket watch at the time. He had business elsewhere to attend to.

"what's that?" the doctor asked.

"I've got to go. I have a meeting to get to. Thanks for the advice doc. Same time next week?" Sid quickly got to his feet and strutted out of the doctor's office

"of course, now hurry along" Saul closed the door behind Sid making his way through the hallways back out onto the street.