Can you fix me? (One Direction Self Harm Story)

Chapter 14

Samantha's POV:

I woke up to the sound of running water.....Zayn must be taking a shower. I rolled out of bed when I felt a sharp pain on my arm. I forgot that I cut last night, and I also forgot that they hurt like a bitch the next day. I'm really disappointed in myself....I was 2 months clean and I threw it all away. "Sam? Are you up?" I heard Zayn call from the shower. "Yeah." I yelled back. "Have you seen my razor?" he asks. "Uh-um.." I stammered. "No! Just get a new one." I say a little to quickly. He didn't reply so I'm guessing he did as I said and got a new razor. I made my way downstairs to find Liam in the kitchen cooking french toast, eggs, and bacon. "Hey." I mumble. "Hey! You hungry?" he asks. "Not really, actually...but thank you. Why are you making this big breakfast anyways?" I ask. "I don't know. I got up early and felt like cooking." he said. I nodded my head in response. I heard footsteps come down the stairs and then I saw Zayn stroll into the kitchen. "Oohh bacon!" he says while shoving a piece in his mouth. I laugh at him and get out of my seat. "I'm going to get dressed. Have fun with your bacon." I say before exiting the room.

"What are we doing today?" I ask. "It's getting close to Christmas....maybe we could go christmas shopping?" Jasmine suggests. "I think that's a great idea!" I exclaim. "You girls and your shopping." Harry grumbles. "Oh, come on! It won't hurt to just look around. I promise we'll do something else when we get back!" I say while giving him the puppy dog eyes. He waits a moment and then rolls his eyes. "Fine...let's go." he sighs.

"Eeek! Look at this adorable little reindeer hat!' Jasmine screeches while putting it on her head. "It is pretty cute!" I agree and put one on my head. "Selfie!' Jasmine says and clicks a picture of us. "This is totally going on instagram." she says while typing away on her phone. I playfully roll my eyes at her and continue to look around. What should I get for Zayn? Maybe I'll get him some clothes? Soap? Shoes? Ugh, I have no ieda....I'm so bad at this whole girlfriend thing. I peer over at Zayn who's laughing hysterically at some dumb santa talking toy with the guys. Why is he even with me? I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, and I'm definitely not skinny. Why doesn't he just leave me and find someone else? He deserves someone so much better. I was snapped out of my self loathing thoughs when Jasmine came up and asked what I was going to get Zayn for Christmas. "I don't really know. I thought about getting him some hair stuff because you know how he's like in love with his hair." I giggle. "Yeah, he might even love it more than you." she teased. "I also thought about getting him shoes and some clothes." I said. "Oh! Get one of those cute matching couple hoodies that say "He's mine" and "She's mine" or something like that." she suggested. Hmmm....that was actually a pretty good idea. I'll order them online as soon as we get back home.

"Well, that was fun." Harry sarcastically says as soon as we all pile into the van, "Oh, shut up or I'll take your christmas present back." Jasmine teases. "Feisty." Niall mumbles. "I'll take back your too, Niall!" Jasmine warns. He juts out his lower lip and I couldn't help but laugh. "What?" he asks. "Nothing, you're just so adorable." I say as I ruffle his hair. He shoots me a glare while he uses the window as a mirror to fix his hair. Geez, who knew boys could be such divas about their hair? "So, what are we doing when we get back?" Zayn asks. "I think we should play out in the snow. Build a snowman, go sled riding.....maybe have a snowball fight." Harry suggests. "We haven't done that in like forever!" Liam says. "Sounds fun." I say. "Yay! Snow day!" Jasmine squeals. She was always so excited about everything.

"OK. I'm ready!" Jasmine announces as she makes her way downstairs. "Good becuase if I stood here for another minute all bundles up I think I would've died of a heat stroke." Louis says. "Oh, stop you're complaining and let's go have some fun!" Jas says while running outside. We all follow after her to go enjoy the snow. It really was beautiful outside....I'm kind of hoping for a white christmas this year. All of a sudden I felt a wet, cold, and hard thing hit me. A snowball! "Got you!" Zayn taunts me. Ohhhh, he is so going to get it! I pack in a snowball and start to run after him. Holy crap, he's a fast runner! We circle around a tree. I'm on one side, and he's on the other. I start to run to my left but then he runs to his left too. He runs away from the tree and I start to run after him but all of a sudden he stops and turn around and picks me up and puts me over his shoulder. I dropped my snowball! Dang it. "Put me down!" I yell. "Nope." he chuckles. "Zayn...put me down or I will bite you." I threaten. "Harsh, but okay if you insist." he says and the next thing I know I'm laying in a big pile of snow with him on top of me. We lock eyes and he starts to lean in.....and BAM! I just shoved a bunch of snow in his face. "Got you." I giggled while wiggling out from under him. "I'll get that kiss sooner or later." he says. "Mmmmkayyy...but for right now we're gonna go build a snowman. Come on!" I say while helping him up.

Liam made the base for the snowman, Liam made the middle part, and Harry made the little head. Niall put the buttons on him for his eyes and mouth. Zayn got the sticks for the hands and a carrot for his nose. Jasmine and I decorated him with a hat, gloves, and a scarf. "Perfect!" Jasmine says when I finish putting the scarf on. "What should we name him?" Liam says. "Olaf!" I exclaim. "Come on...let's get a group selfie with Olaf!" I say. I get out my phone while the others position themselves around Olaf. Click. "Perfect." I say and then I put my phone away. "Sled riding time!" Niall shouts and we all make our way towards the sled and head to the back yard where the hill is at. Louis goes down first to make a path and then Niall and Jasmine go. They're such an adorable couple. Then Harry goes and then Liam. It's mine and Zayn's turn now. "Come on, babe." Zayn says. Unfortunately, we got stuck with the littlest sled. "Zayn...there's not enough room." I say. "It's fine. Just sit on my lap." he says. "It's okay. I'll just wait." I tell him. "No, come on." he says. "No. I'll go down after you." I says. "No, you're coming with me." he says. I try to respond but he grabs my arm and forces me on his lap and then pushes us down the hill. Once we got to the bottom of the hill I immediately got off his lap. "See? Wasn't that fun?" he asks. "No, it wasn't. Damn it, Zayn! I said I didn't want to fucking go down the hill with you!" I scream at him. He looked shocked, and I noticed that everyone was now staring at me...."But.." Zayn starts. "No, stop. I'm going to go inside...I'll make us all hot chocolate." I say and leave without another word. I don't know why I freaked out like that......I just felt like I was to fat to sit on his lap. He knew I was to fat but he didn't want to say anything because I'm his girlfriend. I wiped away the tears and took off all my snow stuff and went into to the kitchen to start making the hot chocolate.

"4...5..6...and 7.." I counted while pouring the hot chocolate into 7 cups for us all. I of course dump mine out because I was not about to drink all of those calories but I had to make it look like I had some so I left the dirty cup in the sink. Just then I heard the door open and they all piled into the kitchen. "Just in time for some hot chocolate." I say. I won't look at Zayn....I still feel bad for yelling at him like that.....I'm such a bitch. They all grab a glass, say thank you, and then head to the living room....all except Zayn. We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds and then I started to leave the kitchen. "Sam, wait." he called. I sighed and turned back around. I continue to look at the ground. "What was that out there?" he asks. "I don't know, honestly. I'm sorry. I was probably just getting crabby because I was to cold or something. Let's just forget about it, okay?" I say. I knew it wasn't because I was too cold but he couldn't know that I'm slipping into my old habits again. "Please...look at me." he says. I look up but Zayn wasn't on the other side of the kitchen anymore....he was right in front of me. We looked into each others eyes for a moment but then he gently placed his lips on to mine. "Told ya I would get that kiss sooner or later." he smirked. I jokingly glared at him and then we both sat with everybody else in the living room to watch "Frozen" with the rest of the gang.

( A/N: Wow! It's been a long time since I've updated. Was this chapter okay?? Nobody has asked yet....but just to clarify One Direction is NOT famous in this story! Thank you all for reading and I apprecaite that nice comments I'm seeing!)