Can you fix me? (One Direction Self Harm Story)

Chapter 4

Samantha's POV:

"Sam! We better get you ready for your big night!" Jas said to me. I checked the time.....it was 5:30! "You're right! Come on." I said as we headed upstairs. Jasmine is helping me get ready for my date with Zayn tonight. I'm nervous but I'm really excited too. What if I do something stupid? What if I embarass myself? "What are you gonna wear?" Jasmine said snapping me out of my thoughts. "Oh, I don't know. He said casual. Help me pick something." I said. We're both rummaging through my closet when she pulls out denim shorts, and a white frilly top. "Here! This'll look perfect on you!' she said. I looked at the shorts, and I knew they would cover the scars and cuts on my thighs, but the shirt was short sleeved. I pulled out a gray cardigan to go with it. Jasmine gave me a weird look. "What?" I asked her. "It's summer, Sam. It's like 80 degrees out." she said. "Yeah, but it's also nighttime. I might get cold." I told her giving her a duh look. She shrugged. "You better get ready! He'll be here in 30 minutes. I go in to my bathroom, and before I change I step onto the scale. 115. I hadn't gained anything, but I also hadn't lost anything either. I was disappointed in myself. This only made me want to finish this 3 day fast even more. I sighed and decided I should get ready. I change into my outfit, and I decided to wear my hair natural. I applied some mascara and eyeshadow. I looked at myself one last time before I went back out. I wasn't beautiful, but I felt okay I guess. I walked out of the bathroom, and slipped my black vans on. It was now 6:20. Zayn will be here any minute. Jasmine and I head downstairs. I started to get hungry so I grabbed a water and sat down at the kitchen island. Jasmine sat down beside me. "Are you excited?" she asked. I nodded and said "A little nervous though." "You'll have fun. You're beautiful, Sam. I think Zayn really likes you. Let yourself have fun and be happy.You deserve it." she told me. I smiled at her and hugged her. I couldn't ask for a better best friend. "You know, Zayn has 4 other friends. They're pretty cute. Maybe we could hook you up with one of them." I tell her. Her eyes lit up. I laughed. "Alright, I'll set something up then." Then I heard the doorbell ring. I answered it, and it was Zayn. "Hey! Come in for a minute." I told him. He was looking at me and then he said "Wow. You look beautiful, Samantha." he told me. I smiled shyly and said "Thank you. You don't look half bad yourself." Then Jasmine's head popped around the corner. I giggled. "Zayn, this is my best friend. Her name is Jasmine. Jasmine this is Zayn." I introduced them to one another. "Hello, Jasmine." he said holding out his hand. "Hello, brown eyes." she said while shaking his hand. He gave me a questioning look and I shrugged. "Well, are you ready to go then Samantha?" Zayn asked. I nodded. "I'll be back soon, Jasmine. Bye!" I said and she waved goodbye. We were walking down my steps and to his car. He walked over to my side, and opened my door for me. I smiled at him and said "Thank you." Then he shut my door and went over to the drivers side. He started to drive, and I asked "So, what are we doing tonight." "Well, I thought we could go to dinner and then take a nice walk on the beach." he said. Oooo.....romantic. I smiled. "What kind of music do you like?" he asked me. I shrugged and asked "I listen to anything." I wasn't about to tell him that I listen to Pierce The Veil and Bring Me The Horizon.....he'll think I'm a freak for listening to "emo" bands. He put on a song I didn't know but I kind of liked it. We finally arrived to where we were eating for dinner. We went inside and got a table. We started to look at the menu.....crap!I forgot about my fast...I was so busy being excited that I forgot that we were eating. How do I get out of this? "What are you getting?" he asked me snapping me out of my thoughts. "U-u-um...I'm not hungry actually. I think I'll just get a water." I said to him. His face dropped. "If you weren't hungry then we didn't have to come." He mumbles. Oh, no....I didn't want to make him feel bad. "Actually, I am kind of hungry. I think I'll get a chicken salad." I said while smiling at him. He smiled back. I guess I'll just have to throw it up later, and add an extra day to my fast. Soon enough the waiter came with our food. I got a water and a chicken salad, and he got pasta with meatballs. God, those meatballs looked so juicy and tasty. "Im really glad we could do this." he said to me. "Me too." I said while smiling. "So, do you live with Jasmine or?" he asked. "No, with my parents. She stays over sometimes." I told him. "Oh, well why don't I ever see them around?" he asked me. "They're away on business....like usual." I told him. "Oh, I'm sorry...that has to suck. "It's fine. So, why don't you live with your parents?" I asked him. "I don't know really. Us boy are really close so we just decided to get a house together. I mean we're all older than 18." he told me. I laughed. I finished my salad and my water. I was extremely full and I didn't like it. "I'm going to go to the restroom. I'll be right back." I said while excusing myself. I made my way into a stall, and shoved my fingers down my throat. It was harder to do because I didn't have soda to help me. I finally got rid of everything, and I cleaned myself up before going back out. When I went back out I noticed that Zayn was done eating and he had payed the bill. He noticed me and said "Ready to go to the beach?" I smiled and nodded at him. He slipped his hand into mine when we were walking out to the car. I blushed and looked down at the ground. Besides throwing up dinner this night has been going really well.

We made our way to the beach, and it was so beautiful. The sound of the crashing waves, the night sky over the water, the stars, and being out here with the boy I'm falling for. It's perfect. I took my shoes off and we started to walk a long on the beach. "It's gorgeous out here." I said. "It really is." Zayn said. I started to look for sea shells. I always loved to collect them. "What are you doing?" Zayn asked me. "Getting sea shells. I love them. I even collect them." I told him. "That's cool. One more interesting thing I know about you." he said. I smiled and he started to help get some sea shells. Once we were done I put them in my pocket. We didn't get that many because it was kind of hard to see. We walked for a little longer until he stopped and turned toward me. "You know what would make this night even better?" he asked. "Hm?" I asked. "If we went swimming." he said smiling. What? No. Scars. Cuts. Can't be seen. I started to panick. "I don't have a swim suit though." I told him. "You have a tank top on don't you? Swim in your shorts and tank top....I have towels in the car." he told me. Crap. "Um, I don't like to swim. Sorry." I said continuing to walk. He grabbed my wrist. It hurt so bad, but I tried my best not to show it. "Please swim. Sam. It'll be fun." he said while starting to take my cardigan off. I stopped him before he could see my arms. "I said no, Zayn. Now stop!" I yelled before running back onto the beach. I collapsed in the sand, and layed down on my back gazing up at the stars. I heard someone lay down beside me and I knew it was Zayn. "I'm sorry, Zayn. I shouldn't have yelled at you..." I said. "No, it's okay. I shouldn't have tried to make you swim. I'm sorry." he said to me. Great, now I made him feel bad. "Beautiful, isn't it?" Zayn asked me. We were looking up at the stars. "Yeah....my mom and I used to do this all the time but we stopped because she..." I trailed off while a tear slipped down my cheek. I sat up, and so did Zayn. He turned me towards him, and wiped the tear off with his thumb. He leaned in to kiss me, and I leaned in too. I closed my eyes, and when our lips touched I swear to god I heard fireworks go off. He pulled away, and we looked in to eachothers eyes."I know we've only met, but I feel like I've known you forever. Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked me. "Yes, I'll be your girlfriend. I really like you...." I said while biting my lip. He came in for another kiss, and the next thing I know it's a full on make out session. His lip run against my bottom lip begging for entrance, and obviously I allow it. After a few minutes we fall on our backs panting like freaking dogs. "Woah." Zayn said while gasping for breath. I giggled. I checked the time real quick and it was 9:00. "I better get home! Jasmine is waiting for me!" I told Zayn. "Do we have too?" he pouted. I kissed him and said "Yes" and then I stood up. Zayn was being lazy so I had to help him up. We made our way to his car, and the drive home was silent but it wasn't awkward...it was beautiful. We made it my house, and I really didn't want this night to end. We got out of the car, and stood there for a minute. "I really enjoyed tonight, Samantha." Zayn said. "Me too." I told him. "Let's do it again sometime." he told me. "Definitely." I told him. I kissed him on the cheek and told him goodbye. When I walked in Jasmine was standing there looking at me while wiggling her eyebrows. I slapped her on the arm and yelled "Were you spying on us?!?!" She rolled her eyes at me and said "Duh! Now, tell me everything!" she said. I told her about dinner but not the throwing up part, I told her about the beach but not about the swimming part, I told her about us making out and him asking me out, and then I told her about the ride home. I looked at her, and she was just smiling at me. "What?" I asked her. "You just look really happy, and it makes me happy." she said. I rolled my eyes and said "You're such a sap." She just laughed. I put a movie in, and we were both bundled up in blankets. I may not have the greatest life, but tonight was the happiest I've been in a long time. I was thinking about Zayn, but then I fell asleep....

(A/N: Is this chapter good? Don't forget to vote, and leave suggestions in the comments!)