Can you fix me? (One Direction Self Harm Story)

Chapter 11

Samantha's POV:

I scrambled to find my bottle of Tylenol pills. I kept a bottle under my bed just in case this time ever came. I opened the bottle and dumped the whole bottle in my hand. I just stared at the pills. Was I ready for this? Did I really want to leave? Of course I do. Zayn hates me, my best friend moved out, and my parents don't give a damn about me. There's nothing worth staying here for. I shouldn't leave without saying goodbye first. I take out my phone and text the 3 people that broke my heart but it was all my fault so I don't blame them.

To: Mom

From: Samantha

I love you. Don't miss me. You'll be okay.

To: Jasmine

From: Samantha

I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I ruined your life. I'm sorry I hit you. I'm sorry I was a bad best friend. I love you.

To: Zayn

From: Samantha

I'm sorry I didn't tell you things. Don't miss me to much. You live your life and be happy. Forget about me. I love you....

I had tears rolling down my face. I slid down the wall and cried my heart out. I look up at the ceiling. I wasn't sure if there was a God or not, but I prayed anyway. "God, please let Zayn, Jasmine, and my mom be okay when I'm gone. I'm sorry I failed all of them. I'm not sure if you're real or not, but if you are please forgive me for this terrible thing I'm about to do." I whispered. I stood up and grabbed the pills and went into my bathroom to get water. "Goodbye.." I whisper to no one in particular and as I was about to put the pills in my mouth I heard the front door slam. I jumped and dropped all of the pills. Shit! Who could be here? "Samantha! Where are you?" I heard Zayn yell. What's he doing here? I quickly lock my bathroom door and scramble to pick up the pills. "Sam? Are you in there? Open up." Zayn sayd while knocking on the door. "One minute.." I yell back. Luckily, I got all the pills picked up and then I relaized that the pill bottle was out in my room......where do I hide them? I looked at the drawer and opened it. I stuffed them in there, and then opened the door staring right into brown eyes....

Zayn's POV:

I was heading over to Samantha's house to see where we stood with our relationship, and then I got a text from her saying "I'm sorry I didn't tell you things. Don't miss me to much. You live your life and be happy. Forget about me. I love you...." What could that mean? I sped up to get to her house quicker. I got a call and it was Jasmine.

Z: Hello?

J: Hey, did you get a text from Sam?

Z: Yes, did you?

J: Yes, I don't know what it means though. I'm pretty worried.

Z: Me too. I'm heading to her house right now. I'll let you know what happens.

J: Okay, bye.

I hung up, and parked my car in front of her house. I didn't even bother knocking. I walked right on in, and I didn't see her downstairs. "Sam? Where are you?" I yell. I run up the stairs and see her bedroom door open, but the bathroom door closed. I walked in and banged on the bathroom door. "Sam? Are you in there? Open up." I say. "One minute.." she yells back. Thank God she's okay. I could hear her rustling through something. I was scanning through her room when I noticed it lying on the bed......an empty bottle of pills.

Samantha's POV:

"What are you doing here?" I ask him. I walked over to the couch in my room and sit down. He come and sits next to me. "Well, I was coming over to see what was going on with our relationship and then you sent a pretty worrisome text. What was that about?" he asks. "Uh-erm nothing." I reply. "It wasn't nothing. It was definitely something." he says. I just shrug and look out my window. "What's with the pills?" I snapped my neck to look at him..."What?" He pointed to my bed and was pointing to the empty bottle of pills. "Oh, um I had a headache so I took some but they were my last ones." I lie. He just nods. "So, about last night..." he trails off. "I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know why I blew up or why I slapped Jasmine." I lie. Truth is...I did know the reason. I'm depressed. I cut. I starve myself. I almost committed suicide like 2 minutes ago and nobody fucking knows. "Let's just start over. We've had some ups and downs but I still love you and I want to be with you, okay?" he says. I nod even though I know that it wouldn't work like that. "So, I brought a piece offering." he says. He pulls out a gift bag and hands it to me. "You didn't have to get me anything." I tell him. "I wanted to...now go try it on." he says. I stand up and head to the bathroom. I looked inside of the bag and found that he got me a whole new outfit. Black jeans, black vans, a new phone case, and tank top....and it was a Bring Me The Horizon outfit! Oh, Jasmine must've told him about me emo bands. Wait. The tank top was short sleeved obviously. What now? Then I remembed that I keep my bracelets in my bathroom. I dug my braclets out and put them on the sink. I put on my outfit, change my phone case, and then I cover both of my arms with bracelets to hide the cuts and scars. I walk out and say "How do I look?" He looks at me and smiles. "You like it?" he asks. I nod. "What's with all the bracelets?" he asks. "Just fashion, why?" I say. "Just wondering..." he says. I stared at him for a few seconds...he had a confused look on his face....and then I realized that he was staring at my wrist. I looked at my wrist and some bracelets slid down, and some cuts were showing. I quickly covered them up and cleared my throat and then I said "So, thanks for the gift and everything..." Zayn cut me off and said "What were those on your wrist?" "Uhm-uh Jasmine's cat, Fluffly, could get a little crazy sometimes." I lie. He looks at me for a minute, and then sits back down on the couch. I decided to sit on my bed. "So, as I was saying....thanks for the gift but you really didn't have to buy me this..." I say. He was just staring at me. I felt uncomfortable. "What?" I ask.