Love, Deryah | Blaise Zabini

5

a/n: so i've just decided to go ahead and publish the story. i have the story saved in my google docs, if anything happens, it's all safe and plus there's ao3. hope you guys enjoy this chapter! we will get to meet drunk deryah next chapter, and hopefully nice blaise. anyways, bestie vibes only from malfoy. xoxo

i present to you...

wild thoughts

narrator's pov

deryah would be lying if she said she hadn't gave thought to what she had experienced two days ago. the images galloped around wildly in her head, and she didn't stop herself from running with them. the vivid memories replayed in her mind, leaving her more inquisitive than ever. the images of him touching everywhere but where she needed, while she mewled in desperation, left her wondering. the way his hand snaked around her throat, slowly moving her hair out the way, giving him the access he needed to place small, sloppy nips on her pulse point. if he could make her moan with barely even touching her, what would happen when he finally did?

but what stuck with her more were the words he whispered in her ear while she fought giving into his words and melting at his touch. she could still feel the butterflies in her stomach and the ghost of his touch every time her mind wandered back to that day. she hated to admit it, but the way he touched her, the things he said; she wanted more. she wanted to see what would happen if she would've said yes, let him take her right there, and make her feel good like he said he could. if only she would've let her guard down for just a little while longer.

no. no no no. deryah tugged herself from these thoughts, trying her best to lock them in a mental vault and forget all about them. she couldn't think about him like this; for merlin's sake, he did nothing but degrade and taunt her. but there was something about the degradation that intrigued her, making her come back for more; he was like a magnet constantly pulling her in. deryah jolted up from her pillow, and reached in her bedside table to grab her journal, making sure not to wake the sleeping roommate just one bed over.

where do i even start? I can't even begin to even profess how bad this is. this really can't be happening right now. the boy who treats me like shit and does nothing but bully me, is also the one who is keeping me awake at night; blaise zabini. or should i say the arse who i just happened to bump into on the train? thinking back to the unfortunate interaction, makes me chuckle. i guess first impressions really do stick.

i was always told not to dwell on the past, but how can i not dwell when he is there everywhere i turn? the way he scowls at me, makes me feel as though he's always going to hold that over my head. i'll always be the clumsy girl who ran into the back of him while we were on the train; the girl who kept apologizing.

my mind and body betrays me though. i can't seem to stop thinking about the things i saw and felt; how good he looked, how his hands felt as they wrapped around my throat, and the way his large hands felt on my thighs as he whispered such things in my ear. the way his paris brun eyes bore in my direction, just watching as i interrupted them, then again while he watched me freeze and just silently react to what he said. the way he looked at me; like a predator watching and waiting to make an attack on its prey. the deviously dark chuckles that escaped his lips, causing the hairs on my neck to stand up.

but i can't do this to myself; i won't allow myself to forget who i am. i've seen this before; i'm supposed to fall for him, and he leaves me broken, still making me want more of him. he treats me like crap, but yet i come back every time, forgiving him as if nothing was really wrong.