Love, Deryah | Blaise Zabini

21

a/n: sorry it took me a while to update, i haven't been very motivated, but i'm back! hope you guys enjoy this chapter xo

i present to you...

winter break: "happy christmas"

blaise's pov

though the sun barely shone through the dark curtains, the sounds of the excited birds invaded my slumber. opening my eyelids, and attempting to stand out of bed, the feeling of a great migraine weighed me down. clumsily sitting back down on the bed, i placed my head in my hands; i needed to stop drinking. running my hands down my face, something on the table beside me, caught my eye. looking over, i noticed a glass of water, a pill, and a small folded piece of paper. reaching, i immediately grabbed the water and took the pill, feeling the rest of the water push it down soon after. placing the empty glass back on the table, i paused before grabbing the note, wondering about all the things that could be waiting to be read.

huffing deeply, i snatched the note off the table and began to read it.

hey, things got a bit out of hand and messy last night, but it's all cool. don't worry, i got you back to your room before anything really happened. just take the pill and drink some water. don't forget to take a hot shower, might help you gather your thoughts. see you downstairs when you're ready. happy christmas x

- deryah

placing the note down on the bed next to me, i slowly stood up from the mattress and made my way to the shower, trying to retrace every decision i made last night. i remember going into the dimly lit library with two bottles of firewhiskey; one was full to the brim and had yet to be opened, and there was only a quarter left in the other one. i started drinking, only trying to get a bit buzzed, and then i started thinking about her. i hadn't seen her since she left for hogsmeade and diagon alley.

we had had our normal routine of quarreling because she got injured on the shards of glass and she was being a brat about it. so when we got in the bathroom, i finally thought i had her alone; i was wrong once again. it started off how it usually does; i tell her not to do something, she rebelled, and then we shared a moment before she scurried off because she's always with draco.

i hated that i couldn't touch her how i wanted to because she's with him. it was even worse because whenever i touched her, i could feel how her body reacted to my touch; she caved with just the brush of my finger tips. i know it's wrong because he's my best friend, but i can't control myself when i'm around her. i think about her all the time; when i wake up she's the first person i think about, when i go to sleep she's in my dreams, she is just constantly running through my head.

from thinking about her, i had found myself almost finishing the full bottle, and my thoughts began to blend and twist. and like she had been summoned, she was standing in front of me, but for some reason she looked concerned. she slowly approached me, confused and worried as to why i was sitting there all alone.

i told myself it meant nothing, which it did mean nothing, and that only caused the emotions i was feeling to intensify. just seeing her, and knowing that i couldn't have her, drove me insane. i began to grow annoyed, agitated, then i began to put pieces together. i hadn't seen her all day because she had been avoiding me. the only reason she was there then was because she was already going to be there, she just must've heard me.

i remember that i said something stupid, and she knew what i meant, but denied it to push me to be outright with what i meant. she always does that; she plays this guessing game where she knows what i mean, but pretends not to because she wants to see if i'm bold enough. merlin, does she know; if i had the chance, i'd tell her i love her right there.