Love, Deryah | Blaise Zabini

18

a/n: hope you guys enjoy this chapter! i didn't post last night because i fell asleep while writing.

TW: panic attacks, slight sexual content, intrusive thoughts, fainting/ unconsciousness

i present to you...

"don't freak out"

narrator's pov

the night was almost over with every waking second, and most of the students and teachers began to clear out of the hall. blaise still hadn't come back, and deryah just assumed that he turned in early. the girls had left the hall, luna leaving with onyx, and pansy going with theodore. everyone had had such a good time, that they were worn out. their once fancy outfits were still proper, just not worn correctly. heels had been taken off, hair had been let down; no one really cared because the night was basically over.

there were at least ten to fifteen students left in the great hall when draco decided to go back to deryah's dorm. he grabbed her hand, helping her up from her chair, and they started on their way to her dorm as she held her heels, bare feet lightly tapping the cold floors. "tonight was a really good night, i enjoyed dancing with you." he smiled, looking down at her.

deryah looked up him, smiling back before agreeing. "i enjoyed dancing too, it was magical." she admitted. tonight was one of the best days she'd had in a while, and the stress felt non-existent, like she was free for a while. she knew this wouldn't last forever, so she enjoyed it as much as she could.

***

getting back to her dorm, deryah wasn't really surprised when draco came inside and sat down. this had happened several times before today, and she was used to it by now. what did surprise her was when she felt draco's firm hands wrap around her waist, and his lips coming in contact with her neck as she smiled softly.

his lips were soft, and his kisses became more sloppy the more he sprinkled them onto her skin. he flipped her around, so now that she was facing him, before he softly pressed their lips together. he brought his palm to cup her cheek, and she wrapped one of her hands around the back of his neck. he slowly began to unzip her dress, earning a nod from her to signal that is was okay. her dress dropping to the wooden floor, she stepped out from inside, kicking it out of the way. she began unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his toned muscles underneath as he began to lift her in the air. she wrapped her legs around his waist, holding on as he pushed her back against the wall.

once again, deryah thought that this night couldn't get any better, until her intrusive thoughts decided to commence. it started off small, making her question if they were going to have sex or not, but then proceeded to get worse.

her stomach began to twist and turn as they became more disapproving and judgmental as he began to feel up her body.

you're such a whore

you think he'll want to fuck you once he finds out you almost fucked his best friend?

this is why no one loves you

so who are you gonna sleep with next huh?

let me guess? lorenzo, or is it gonna be the entire quidditch team?

you're such a disgrace

she tried her best to ignore these persistent thoughts, shutting her eyes tighter as she convinced herself that she wanted this to happen right now. but the more she tried to convince herself, deryah began to feel her breathing pick up, pants and gasps filling the room. draco hadn't noticed her change in tone, so these sounds encouraged him; they only made him kiss her neck more, soon reaching down to explore her body. the kisses felt amazing, but she began to feel her chest tighten, and she could've sworn the walls were closing in on her.