More Than Meets the Eye

Chapter Ten

Addison's Point of View

What the fuck do I do now. Not only did I discover Auston was "cheating" on me, but his best friend and teammate, revealed I was the girl he liked; the girl that was being cheated on.

After our long chat on the balcony, I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to ruin things between Auston and Freddie; he didn't deserve that. Anything that man ever did was never for selfish reasons; it was all because he cared. If I was being honest, I wasn't sure how to feel about his revelation. Did I have feelings for him too? Was it possible to have feelings for him if it took me this long to think about? What would I do if I did? There were too many questions, and not enough answers. It had been at least two hours we had chatted out on the balcony, but when I got back to the living room, the party was going on as if I had never left.

"Oh hey, you're back!" Liv says to me, and I smile. I have a drink in my hand, because that's why I left in the first place, right?

"Did you get lost on the way or something?" Willie quips, and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah I mean, have you seen this house? It's huge!" I mock, and Willie just rolls his eyes at me.

"There you are!" Auston says, coming back over to me. He's drunk, I can tell. He leans in close and it's even more obvious he's drunk; it's all I can smell off him. I wasn't one to judge, he deserved to have a good time. And I was thankful he was drunk; he didn't even notice my disappearance.

"Here I am!" I say, and he leans in and kisses me. I don't mean just a small peck, like we do in front of people; he's actually kissing me. I'm confused, obviously, but instinct kicks in and I kiss him back just as hard. It feels nice; but it feels wrong. I don't pull away though; there's something stopping me.

"Get a room you two!" I hear Willie wolf whistle just as Auston pulls away from me. I look into his eyes, trying to get some sort of idea of what he's thinking; but I get nothing. Maybe I'm caught off guard, or maybe it was just him not being able to see his side piece. But it felt good.

"We will later" Auston winks, laying down beside me and cuddling himself into me. I roll my eyes, trying my best to not let on that anything's wrong. Trying my best to pretend the conversation with Freddie didn't just happen. And just like that I'm flooded with guilt. Freddie, who actually likes me, who has stuck up for me, and been there for me throughout my entire "relationship", didn't deserve me to do this. Maybe that was it, then; maybe I didn't deserve him.

The rest of the night, while it just lasts an hour or two more, is a lot of fun. We play a round of Jackbox games, before calling it a night. Aubrey and Morgan head off into the guest room, Willie and Liv staying on the pullout couch. Steph and Mitch went home; she had to work in the morning. How grateful was I that I did not.

Auston hasn't said anything about the kiss. In fact, we barely say anything as I help him get ready for bed; he may have had a little too much tonight.

I can't find it in me to say anything to him about what I know, though. I don't confess to him I know he's been seeing someone else. I don't confess to him Freddie likes me. And I especially don't confess about where I stand in all of this; because honestly, even if he asked, I wouldn't know what to say.

"Thanks for taking care of me" he grumbles into his pillow, his eyes fluttering shut. "You're such a great girlfriend" he mumbles, before I can hear a small snore escape. I chuckle, pulling the covers over his tired body. It's well after four in the morning, but I'm not tired. I feel more awake than I ever have.

Of course that brings me to the balcony, where I spend a lot of my time here. I wish I had someone to talk about this with. The fact I couldn't even tell Aubrey about this absolutely killed me. I needed advice; but had no where to turn. I guess I must have been out on the balcony for awhile and more tired than I had thought, because it didn't take long before I felt my eyes flutter shut.

****

My eyes shoot open, eyes going wide. I look around, confused on where I am. It takes me a moment to recognize where I am. Auston is still asleep beside me; I can hear the soft snores coming from his direction. It's clear he hasn't moved all night; how the hell did I get here?

Looking at the time I noted it was eight a.m. I only got about an hour or two of sleep, but I felt fine. Feeling a little hungry, I made my way to the kitchen, still confused as to how I made it back to bed. Last I remembered I was on the balcony.

I made my way to the kitchen, where I saw Freddie was sitting scrolling through something on his phone as he ate a bowl of oatmeal.

"Morning" I greet him, and he looks up and smiles. He looks adorable, his hair disheveled, having bed head. I try to not let my eyes linger on him for too long.

"Morning" he greets back, taking a sip of the coffee in front of him. "You sleep okay?" He asks and it dawns on me; did he carry me to bed?

"Only an hour or so but yeah actually, it was good rest. Did you carry me to bed?" I ask him bluntly. His cheeks turn a light shade of pink, indicating that yes, he did.

"Yeah, i didn't want you to freeze out there" he tells me softly, and I'm grateful.

"I didn't think I was going to fall asleep" I tell him honestly. I sit down across from him at the table, and I can read a look of guilt on his face.

"I'm sorry again, about last night" he mumbles, and my heart hurts. I didn't want him to feel bad about this; none of this was his fault.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about" I tell him quietly. I didn't think Auston was going to wake up anytime soon, but I didn't want to chance it.

"I really appreciate you not telling him I told you" he says, averting eye contact.

"You've been nothing but amazing to me, Freddie. I wouldn't want to put any stress on you" I tell him, and it's true. We stay silent for a moment, and I'm stuck in my thoughts again. I needed to be able to talk to someone about all of this. I knew I needed to, but didn't know who.

The conflicting thoughts in my mind were killing me. What was I supposed to do?