More Than Meets the Eye

Chapter Twenty-Six

Addison's Point of View

"Im crawling into a hole, and never coming out" I say, throwing my phone across the room. It lands close to Aubrey, who's confused at first until she reads the message Fred just sent me.

"Oh" she says, and it's all she can even think to say. She puts my phone down and locks it, giving me a look of sympathy I don't want.

"What do I do?" I ask weakly. "This is a mess. I am a mess. Everything's a mess" I add, feeling rather numb. Regardless of which way you looked at it, I was royally fucked. If I dated Auston, I would break Freddie's heart and probably lose him as a friend. But if I dated Freddie, everyone would think I'm just some puck slut trying to get with every member of the Toronto maple leafs. They'd question everything I had with Auston, and they'd wonder how Freddie and I could do something so terrible to Auston.

"You're not a mess" she assures me, but I don't believe her. "You'll figure this out"

"There's no good way out of this, besides just never seeing them both again" I say, and it's completely ludicrous. I couldn't just not see them anymore; not only were they two of my closest friends, and we were in the same circle of friends. If I stopped coming around it would also raise questions. Not only that, then I'd have no one, and have to spend forever wishing I had have made the right choice; if there even was a right choice to be made in this situation.

"Do you think you could honestly do that?" She asked, not believing I would ever. I shook my head; of course not.

"No" I mumble. "Do you have any advice?" I ask, and I know it's an unfair question. What kind of advice would she even offer me?

"Follow your heart" she tells me, and I almost want to laugh. "No, I'm serious. You really need to sit down and think about your relationship with each of them. How they make you feel. How you feel around them. It's not fair to string them both along" she adds gently, and I know she's right.

"But how do I know if I'm making the right decision?" I ask her, and Aubrey just shrugs.

"Sometimes, it's not always about making the right decision. Sometimes, it's about making a decision you can live with" she speaks softly and gently, as if that will somehow soften the blow.

"A decision I can live with..." I trail off, sighing. "Alright. I'll think about it. And see what the hell I can come up with" I tell her, and she seems satisfied with this answer for now. I wanted to talk to both of them first. Though Freddie already understood the great stress I had on myself and the decision I was struggling to make, I owed it to Auston to lay it all out on the table for him. I assume since Auston knew of our kiss he and Freddie talked about it already; but I wanted it to come from me.

*********

"Hey, Aus" I smile, surprised to see him. After that night I hadn't had a chance to text him asking to talk. And by not having a chance, I mean deliberately ignoring the topic and avoiding texting him. But as it happened, he showed up today just in time for my lunch break; I couldn't avoid it any longer it seemed.

"Hey, you good for lunch?" He asks, though I'm already seated at the table in the cafe alone. I gesture to the seat in front of me and he takes it. He looks around nervously, before leaning in close to me, so nobody could hear.

"Sorry for just showing up like this" he apologizes, and I feel a little guilty. If I had have just bitten the bullet and talked to him he wouldn't have to be here right now.

"No, no! Don't worry about it- it's fine" I say with a smile, taking the last bite of my Caesar salad. "I shouldn't have put off talking to you" I add with a frown, and he knows exactly what I referring to.

"Just so you know, I'm not mad" he tells me, and I feel like that's a little hard to believe. "Well I mean- I was, of course. But, I'm fine now" he clarifies, but this only confuses me more.

"You're not mad anymore?" I ask, eyebrow raised.

"Fred and I talked- were good by the way" he makes sure to add. "And there's no hard feelings"

"I didn't mean for this to happen" I can't help but blurt out. "I just- I don't know" I lose my train of thought before it even can begin. "I didn't mean to avoid you either- I just, you know- didn't know what I was going to say"

"I get it" he says with a shrug. "I actually came to tell you that you don't have to worry about Jessica anymore" his words are music to my ears.

"Really?" I ask, my eyes wide with excitement. "How did you manage to swing that one?"

"I don't really want to talk about it" he mumbles, and I can only imagine what that means. Did he sleep with her again? Was he sleeping with her again? Did he pay her off? Did he-. "It actually didn't take much" it's like he knows my mind is reeling.

"Thanks, Aus" I whisper, though in all honesty it is the least he can do. After all, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for him sleeping with her. Hell, we could have been a legitimate couple by now.

"You don't need to thank me, it's my fault anyway" he says, and I can't disagree; it was.

"Yeah, it was" a small giggle escapes my lips, which causes him to smile. The pair of us laugh for a moment before becoming silent once more.

"I want to gain back your trust" he breaks the momentary silence. "I know, I betrayed you, but I want to prove to you that you can trust me" he says, and I want to believe that.

"I feel like I betrayed you too" I tell him, though in all reality, it's not the truth. We were never together; just dating for appearances sake. What I did in my own time was my business; not his. I just felt bad it just happened to be with his best friend.

"You didn't" he assures me, and then back pedals. "Okay, well at first it felt like you did. But we technically were never together, so... just as you said about Jessica" he makes reference to a previous conversation. He was sleeping with Jessica and felt guilty for it; why not just tell me? Since we weren't actually dating. Because of all this, we both found ourselves in a hole we couldn't dig ourselves out of.

"I'd like to get back to being friends" I tell him, and I can tell even though it's what he came for, he's a little hurt at my words.

"I'd like that" he says, reaching over the table and grabbing my hand. I let it linger for a moment before removing my hand from under his; I had to take this slow.

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I have to get back to work" I say, looking at the time. He looks saddened for a moment, before he nods in understanding. "But, I'll see you at the game tonight" I grin, and he does too. It's his first game back from injury, and I can tell he's excited to get back out there.

"See you then" he says, as we part ways.