More Than Meets the Eye

Chapter Twenty-Two

Freddie's Point of View

I got home rather late. Well, relatively speaking. Addie had to work early tomorrow and I had a morning skate. It was optional, but I was feeling like I needed it, to help clear my head.

After having a good time with Addie just watching crappy movies, I was wiped. I was fairly certain I smiled the whole way home; it felt strange to feel like this about somebody, and I didn't mind it one bit.

As soon as I walked into the condo, however, I knew I was in for a long night. Though it was just past midnight, there had to be at least ten people in my condo; drinks in their hands.

"Freddie! Where ya been?" Willie asks me as I walk in the door. I debate on telling him the truth for a moment; should I keep it a secret? After all, everyone thought Auston and Addie just broke up; it wouldn't look good if I was hanging out with her.

"I was out. Did some workouts. Just wanted to drive around to clear my head" I shrug, and because he's half in the bag he believes me.

"Should have been here sooner, man" his tone suddenly turns serious. I give him a concerned look, so he continues. "Auston. He's not doing great" and I felt a surge of guilt flow through me. He obviously wasn't taking the breakup between them well; even our teammates could see that. Despite his actions, I did realize he cared for Addie a great deal. And it was in the same way that I cared about her. I closed my eyes; why did I have to do this to myself?

"Where is he?" I ask, looking around to see if I could spot him.

"Out on the balcony" he points. Of course he's out there; it was her favourite spot. She spent more time there than anywhere else in the condo; and for good reason. Despite the cold Toronto weather, it was a beautiful view, especially as the snow fell from the sky.

"I'll go talk to him" I tell Willie, who pats me on the shoulder.

"You're a good friend" he tells me, walking away. If you only knew I think to myself, before shaking it off and heading out to the balcony.

I expect to see him drunk. I expect to see him partying, trying to forget each of the memories they shared together; but that's not what I saw. He was perfectly sober. He simply sat on the swinging bench, looking out into the sky. I felt bad for him, but only for a moment; he did bring this on himself.

"You ok dude?" I ask, and he isn't even phased or startled by my presence. We were close, yes. Often people wondered why we could be so close; we seemed so different. Sure, on the outside that might be the case, but it was far from the truth. We shared a lot of interests, but talking about feelings was usually never one of them. Sure, we did discuss them, but not as much as we had recently. Oddly it made me feel like our friendship had only gotten stronger; but what a terrible best friend I was when it came to Addie.

"No" he doesn't give me the sarcastic answer I expect. He just breaths out, sighing before turning to look at me. His eyes look a little red; I can tell that even from the dimly lit balcony. "But I deserve this" he says, and although I have a tough time disagreeing, I hate seeing him like this.

"Sure, you fucked up; but as far as being miserable goes, no, you don't" I try and offer; but he's not having any of it.

"No, I do deserve this. I had so many opportunities to come clean. I had so many chances to make things right. I kept telling you, and myself, that I would do it... but ultimately, I never could" he frowns.

I remain silent. I'm not sure what to say in this situation. What even could you say? Was there anything I could say to even ease the pain he was feeling?

"I talked to Addie today" I say. This immediately gets his attention. I don't know why I tell him; I expect him to be pissed. I'm surprised when he's calm.

"Is she doing okay?" I ask, and he sounds like he genuinely cares.

"I mean, as good as she can" I say with a shrug. "Work was tough. But it'll smooth over once people find something else to gossip about" I refer to the Jessica drama and he just nods, taking in my words.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" He asks, the sadness evident in each word he spoke.

"I can't speak for her" I begin, trying not to say the wrong thing. "But, yeah. I think she will" as much as it pained me, I think it's true. She was having a rough time being without Auston just as Auston was having a rough time now. Though they might have been a fake relationship, there were elements that made it seem and feel real to the both of them; and here I was, the confusing and conflicting thought in the middle.

"You do?" He asks, hope lighting up his eyes.

"Yeah, dude. She cares about you a lot. It just, you know... will take time" it's the most cliche answer I can give, but it's also the most truthful. "But you can't pressure it, ya know?" I say, and he nods.

"I know. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or anything" he tells me. "I don't want her to feel awkward around anyone, either. If she stays away from me people are going to begin to think that we aren't on good terms" he says, and he's back to thinking of his reputation. But he was right; it might make things hard for her if she was to avoid him.

"I don't think she will avoid you forever, obviously" I say, biting my lip. "She knows all of this; I'm sure the two of you will figure it out" and I'm sure they will. They'll be able to be civil with each other in public, I'm sure of it. "Avoiding you would be hurting you, she doesn't want that" even though he hurt her a great deal, she still wants nothing but the best for him.

"I don't deserve her" he shakes his head. "I really don't. Not as a friend, or a girlfriend" I want to agree with him but it's not the truth. Though some of his actions were selfish, his intentions weren't always that way. He did do things for Addie; and she knew it.

"That's just not true" I tell him, almost in a scolding manner. "You just have to ride this out. Let her take lead. Prove to her you don't just think about yourself" I tell him, and he's a little flustered now.

"She told you about our conversation, huh?" He doesn't seem pissed about it, just embarrassed.

"Uh- yeah" I confess. Though she initially didn't want to talk about it, the topic did come up and we did discuss everything and their conversation. I knew about their kiss; I knew about both of their feelings for each other.

"I'm not that much of an ass, I swear" he defends, and I want to try to lighten the mood.

"I mean..." I trail off, a smirk playing on my lips. I think he catches what I'm trying to do, and goes along with it.

"Thanks, dude" he says, as he looks out into the Toronto sky once more.