More Than Meets the Eye

Chapter Twenty-Four

Addison's Point of View

"Sorry, you just looked so uncomfortable" Liv says as we walk away from Auston. I ran into him in the kitchen, and proceeded to have what felt like the world's most uncomfortable conversation. It didn't seem to matter how much time had passed, but being around Auston felt weird.

"No, no thanks- I needed to get out of there" I say with a sigh. We snuck off outside on the patio. Nobody was out here because of the temperature, and I didn't mind. After the encounter with Auston I needed some air.

"Are you staying out here?" she asks, and I nod. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asks as an afterthought. She was one of the few who knew the exact situation I found myself in. I could tell she felt bad for me but would never admit it.

"I'll be fine" I say with a shrug. I shiver slightly, but brush it off. "Go inside, I'll be fine" I insist once more. Finally accepting my answer, she disappears back inside, and I turn my attention back to the Toronto sky. It was crazy, wasn't it? The amount of times I found myself staring up in the sky, wondering what the hell to do.

I wandered around the small, fenced in yard. They had a nice little set up here; living on the bottom level of a ten floor condo. Because they lived on the bottom floor they had a small little yard, which was perfect for Zeus. I lean up against the fence, and close my eyes, trying not to let the cold get to me.

If you asked me a year ago where I'd be with my life, I can definitely tell you this wouldn't be it. Having two guys pining after me, unable to decide between the two. Auston was great; I felt like we really fit together. He was a little wild, but it kept me on my toes; I had fun with him. Though I had those feelings there was the issue of trust. Did I trust he was telling the truth? Would I always have that doubt? Then there was Freddie.

Sweet, sweet Freddie. Who never thought of anyone but himself. Who always put people before him, regardless of the circumstance. He had quickly become the closest person to me; he truly was my best friend. I was terrified in every way of losing that.

"Why is it I always find you outside?" I hear Fred's voice come from behind me. He's holding a sweater, and he hands it to me, like the gentleman he is. I accept it, shivering before pulling it over my head. I don't know how he knows where to find me, but he is the one who knows me best.

"I guess I do my best thinking out here" I tell him honestly. I couldn't explain why, but looking up into the sky had a calming affect on me. I turn around and look at Freddie, who is wearing an expression I'm unsure of.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, and I bite my lip, debating on whether or not I want to tell him the truth.

"You" I say in a low whisper. "I'm thinking about you" I repeat, and he's surprised by my answer. I can tell this makes him feel good though, and I can also tell he's wondering why he's on my mind. He comes closer to me, and I don't move.

"What about me?" He asks, as he looks down into my eyes. I look up at his, which are shining from the lights in the yard. He has a smirk on his face, though looks serious at the same time.

I can't help myself anymore. I don't know what prompts me to do it, but I put both my hands on his cheeks lightly, testing the waters. He lets me do it, and he pulls me closer. He rests his forehead on mine, before looking at me for my permission.

I pull his face closer to mine, our lips crashing together instantly. I don't pull away; I don't want to pull away. His lips feel so soft against mine, the faint taste of peppermint on his breath. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer into him, and it's only now that I pull away.

"...wow" he breaths, trying to regain his composure.

"I've wanted to do that for awhile" I admit, blushing. He takes his hands and cups my chin before planting another long, lingering kiss on my lips. The feel tingly when he pulls away, like my lips are missing his touch almost immediately.

"Me too" he whispers, intertwining our hands together. My inner school girl is screaming; I couldn't believe how good it felt to kiss him. It felt like nothing I had experienced before; it was a totally different situation than with Auston.

Auston. Fuck.

"I know you're going through a lot right now" he tells me, as if reading my mind. "I know you know how I feel about you; but I don't want to rush or pressure you" his words bring me comfort.

"I know you don't, and I can't tell you how much it means to me" I tell him, though I do feel an intense amount of guilt.

"I don't mean to do this to you, either" I say. "It's really not fair of me to put you through this, especially knowing how you feel about me" I'm not ready to confess my feelings to him, in the same way I'm unsure of my feelings for Auston. My head is a mess, and I don't know how it's supposed to make a decision.

"I get it" he assures me, and I kind of have to laugh. I think he realizes what's happening, and he chuckles too. "Okay, so I don't know exactly how you're feeling" he says, and we're both smiling and laughing. Being with Fred was so easy; why wasn't this decision easier? We pull away from each other, still grinning.

"Really, you're an amazing person, Freddie" I say in a small whisper. I don't deserve him; he deserves someone who's able to give them their all. Someone who has no doubts about their feelings for him.

"As are you" he says, and I want to object but don't. "Do you want to come inside? Or do you want to just hang out here for a bit?" He asks, and I'm unsure.

"Let's go inside" I finally decide after a moments thought. I hoped tonight Aubrey had no intentions of going home with Mo; I had to talk to her about what just happened.

                                            *****

The rest of the night goes by quickly, but smoothly. I don't see Auston again; I have to assume he's left for the night. I frown, feeling slightly guilty; was it because of me?

I luck out that there's a team meeting tomorrow so Aubrey isn't going home with Mo; she's coming home with me. I couldn't express how grateful I was for that, and as soon as we walked into our apartment I blurted out my evening.

"I kissed Freddie"

She stops dead in her tracks. She's unsure, but then her uncertainty turns into a giant smile. I smile just a widely back at her, feeling happier than I had in awhile.

"Addie! How was it?" She asks, though it was just a kiss it meant so much more.

"He... well, he's amazing" I breath, trying to remember every detail; trying to remember what his lips felt like on mine, for fear I'd never feel it again. "But I feel guilty" I say, and I can tell she knows exactly why.

"You shouldn't feel guilty for exploring your feelings" she tells me, and I like the way she words it. Freddie understood my situation, and was putting no pressure on me; but did that mean I owed it to Auston to tell him?

"But what if Auston finds out?" I ask, and she eyes me weirdly.

"Why would he find out? I doubt Freddie's gonna offer up that information to him" she says, and I shrug. Maybe he's feeling the same guilt I do?

"Maybe he feels guilty too?" I offer, though I'm not entirely sure if he does feel guilty. Maybe he's just trying to explore his feelings as well.

"Unless you ask, I don't know, babe" she tells me, frowning at how much this is all taking a toll on me. "Discuss it with Freddie. Maybe see if telling Auston is on his mind too" but before the words even leave her mouth I see my phone light up with a text from Freddie. It's just two words; the two words I was dreading to read.

Freddie 🥳
Auston knows.