broken|| ahs kyle spencer and zoe benson

chapter tweleve: atleast he had zoe

tw: school shootings and anxiety type stuff

word count: 1035
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kyle woke up that night, his head pounding after all the crying and he felt weak and sick.

he honestly didn't know how to go on. he just got himself back, but somehow he felt more empty then he did in the dark nothing he was in when he was dead.

he didn't want to bother zoe, so he moved off of her and away from her. kyle felt a panic attack coming.

he got up and went into the bathroom. he was shaking and pacing around the room. he couldn't cry.

"shit." he mumbled, over and over.

zoe turned over to hug kyle, but noticed he wasn't there. immediately, she thought the worst.

"kyle?" she said, sitting up. she noticed the bathroom light was on and the door was cracked open.

she got up and pushed the door open a little.

kyle looked up and saw zoe.

"i'm gonna die." he mumbled, pacing around. he was hitting his head lightly.

zoe immediately knew this was a panic attack.

"hey, no your not." she said, reaching out to grab his hand to stop him from moving around. "it's just a panic attack."

"i cant keep doing this to you." he cried.

big tears fell from zoe's eyes.

"you need me. that's okay." she said, trying to hug him but he was too anxious to give in.

"kyle, your okay."

kyle pulled away.

"look at you, your miserable. i make you miserable."

zoe shook her head no, crying.

"don't leave me." she cried, fearing that his next words were going to be about breaking up. "i need you."

kyle let out a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair.

"i cant keep hurting you." he said, "you'll be better off."

"please, kyle. your all i have left."

kyle looked at the crying girl, and felt nothing but sadness.

zoe's hands were close to her chest, and she was trying not to sob. she was so tired, and so sick of fighting and so sad and scared.

kyle walked up to her and pulled her in.

"you know i can't keep doing this to you." he said, hugging zoe.

"i'm so tired." she cried. "please don't do this. not right now."

kyle kissed her neck as he hugged her, tears falling everywhere.

zoe's arms were still to her chest and kyle was wrapped around her, still hugging her as they stood in the bathroom.

she felt safe, but she was worried that he would leave and that that would be the last hug.

"i won't go." he mumbled.

zoe bursted into tears even more. he was right, she couldn't take this anymore. but she loved him way too much.

"can we go to sleep?" she choked out, through her tears.

they got back into bed, and kyle held zoe so tight. he loved her, and he knew his problems were hurting her.

"i'm so sorry." he said, placing sloppy kisses all over her head.

"don't just threaten to leave me in the middle of the night." she said, scared of what he'd say.

kyle pulled her in a little more. she rested her head on the crook of her neck and closed her teary eyes.

"i love you." he repeated in a whisper tone, rubbing her back gently.

neither of them slept well that night, but they stayed close and tried.

-time skip to late in the morning-

"you know what?" zoe snapped, "your right. i cant keep doing this. i've dropped everything to help you the past two weeks and all i get is you threatening to leave me at two in the morning."

"then why do you want me to stay?" he hissed back.

neither of them yelled loudly, they weren't like that. but, they talked louder then they normally did.

"because i love you." she cried, slamming her hand on the table.

"we're toxic." he said.

zoe nodded, looking away in anger.

"i'll go." she said, grabbing her stuff. "i'll stay in the empty room down the hall."

kyle watched as zoe went to the closet to grab her clothes.

"no. don't do this." kyle pleaded, "we can try. we can fix this."

"i'm tired kyle. i'm so tired." she said, "it hurts me more then you know to do this."

kyle sat down on the bed and held his head in his hands, taking a minute to stop himself from saying anything he'd regret.

"it's only down the hall." he told himself.

by the time he looked up, zoe was waking out the door.

his heart shattered. he never imagined she'd actually leave.

zoe went to the room across the hall, and put her stuff away. she felt bad, no, she felt terrible. she knew he was at his worst, but it was taking a toll on her.

she laid down in the bed and cried herself to sleep.

kyle, on the other hand, left. he went to the local grocery store.

kyle picked up a bottle of vodka and some beer. he didn't want to feel anything, and getting drunk would lessen the feeling.

he sat in his car, and sipped on the vodka. it was gross, but it distracted him of his thoughts. there were so many things he was going to do with his life, but dying changed everything.

his phone dinged. it was his friend, jake. when zoe and madison brought kyle back to life, they erased everyone's memory of him dying. so basically, everyone knew the shooting happened, but he survived it.

hey, party at issacs tonight. wanna come?

kyle shrugged. maybe it would be nice to get out.

sure. what time?

eight. cant wait to see you, bro.

kyle threw his phone into the passenger seat and drove back to the coven. zoe was down there, talking with cordelia about magic-witch stuff and kyle refused to look her direction. he walked straight up to his room, their room.

he threw the alcohol onto the bed and got in the shower. he was numb, so numb. just yesterday he couldn't speak right and could barley walk, but atleast he had zoe.

atleast he had zoe..