I'm not broken (RoyalChaos)

Chapter 9 - And now kiss

Chilled's perspective

My heart raced as I put my clothes back on in a hurry and I stormed out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Amber looked up from her books as she heard me trample around the house.

"Steven is in the hospital", I panted, my voice trembling, and I was already beginning to feel tired, "Smarty is picking me up and we're heading over there now". I grabbed my coat from the wardrobe and put my shoes on.

"Hang on, I'm coming with you", the girl exclaimed and rushed to get her jacket and shoes as well. I didn't have anything against that proposal since I'd probably need someone to comfort me. We headed outside and Smarty's car shot around the corner. As soon as we sat down in our seats he drove off and proceeded to tell us what exactly had happened.

"Ze had too much to drink. I don't know where he got the alcohol from since he's not yet 21, but it was enough for him to pass out", he began, eyes fixed on the almost empty road, "The landlady found him in his apartment cause she saw that his door was still open. Apparently he hit his head on something pretty badly cause when the ambulance arrived he went into a temporary coma. He snapped out of it though as soon as they brought him to the hospital. Anyway, he's there now getting some rest. This could've gone so terribly wrong if he had cut himself somewhere cause if I remember correctly he has hemophilia, meaning his blood doesn't clot. Now mix that with blood-thinning alcohol. He could've bled out long before his landlady found him".

I slightly shook my head. This was all my fault. I had left my alcohol in his apartment. I had made him feel so bad that he started to drink. I could've been responsible for his death if he had cut himself somewhere. A tear rolled down my face and I sniffed, looking out of the window. I probably looked like shit right now. I hadn't showered, I was tired, I was crying. As we finally arrived at the hospital I jumped out of the car, followed by Amber, while Smarty searched for a free parking spot. I ran up to the front desk and impatiently waited for the lady to look up from her computer.

"Here to see Steven Viking", I then panted and she started typing something into the computer, "He came in this evening, he passed out after he ha-"

"Second floor, room 217", the lady interrupted me and returned to her business.

I nodded and hurried over to the elevator, but it's doors had just closed. I cussed internally and swirled around. Stairs it is, I thought and took two steps at a time. I heard Amber run up behind me, but my eyes were focused on what was straight ahead. As we arrived on the second floor I could barely breathe anymore. But I had to get to Ze. My eyes scanned the room numbers, desperately searching for the number 217. I found it just moments later, but hesitated in front of it. I had no idea what to expect inside of this room.

"Go in, Anthony", Amber said and layed a hand on my shoulder, "I'll wait right here with Smarty".

I gave her a quick, thanking smile and opened the door, entering the darkened hospital room. It was only lit by a small but bright lamp on a nightstand by Ze's bed. I took a deep breath and stepped closer. He had his eyes closed and dark circles right under them. I watched as his chest went up and down almost unnoticable. His arm had a little needle in it which was connected to some weird plastic bag containing a clear fluid. He looked so broken and my heart ached at his sight. I broke out in tears, finally able to let my feelings flow. I sobbed like a newborn child as I sat down on his bed, grabbed his hand and held it close to my heart. "I am so fucking sorry", I bawled, short sobs interrupting me, "I shouldn't have ever lied to you, I shouldn't have ever let you alone, I shouldn't have ever... I don't hate you, Ze, I don't hate you at all. Quite the opposite actually. I only ever left because I was scared of my own feelings. I was a fucking coward. I was scared of what my family would say, I was scared of my future. I was scared to admit that I'm gay and madly in love with you, Ze. I should have never left your side. I am so, so sorry". I closed my eyes and let my sobs take control of my body, making my shoulders shake and my voice tremble. Then I opened them again, glancing down at the Canadian who was still lying there, motionless. I looked at his pale face and bent down, leaning in towards his lips. I hesitated for a second, then leaned down completely, allowing my lips to touch his. I never let go of his hands and, after a few seconds, backed out again, eyes closed.